The Heir Apparent
by Gentleman Crow
Summary: As long as he could remember, Eridan had walked in the footsteps of the legendary pirate Dualscar and failed to live up to his name. However, just as he prepares to accept his fate, a chance meeting with their psionic helmsman alters his destiny forever.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **At my dear friends' behest, (AND WHIPPING I MEAN KIND ENCOURAGEMENT) I am posting the prologue of the fic I am currently working on now! This is my first foray into the Homestuck fandom SO BE GENTLE OH GOD BE GENTLE. It's an AU in which the Ancestors (Or most of them at least :T) are alive concurrently with their descendants. Pretty much everything else about canon remains intact with just a little tweaking and creativity on my part!

**Prologue**

A very foolish man had once inquired of his esteemed pirate captain; why he continued his reign of terror when he had amassed wealth and power to live like a king for ten lifetimes and then some. Every ring of the universe already knew his name and feared it, he reminded him. There was no treasure great enough left in the entirety of creation to be worth his pains to acquire. It would be all too easy just to take what he had and retire into the comfortable obscurity of omniscient, ever-present terror without the exhaustion of sustaining his iron fist. He had later slaughtered the brazen lowblooded peon for an unrelated offence, but his words had remained long after his death, nagging and cloying in the back of his mind like the stench of rot and decay. What point would there be, indeed, to amassing power, riches, fear, or cultivating a legacy and a name only to have everything he fought for, shed blood for, crumble upon his inevitable demise; picked apart by slithering scavengers until nothing but a broken legend remained. His story was fathoms beyond a garbled cautionary tale told by intergalactic sailors in a drunken stupor before setting out on another long sojourn.

The very utterance of his name made the cosmos quake in terror. Children wept at the mere flicker of a notion that one day, their guardians would run afoul of the shadow of his dread vessel Neptune's Gambit and be swallowed into its fiery path of destruction. His bloody conquests were blessed and contracted by the Condesce herself. His cruelty and prowess in battle were unmatched by any in recorded history. The mere screech of his Crosshairs was said to open a void into the maw of oblivion for all who heard her fatal refrain, and a far worse fate awaited those unlucky enough to be obliterated by the shot. With his rifle, his leer, and his crew of heartless cutthroats he sailed upon the swiftest stardust and left darkness, destruction, and bitterest woe in his gruesome wake.

He was Orphaner Dualscar.

And he should never be forgotten.

Life obeyed the ebb and flow of fate, of that much he was certain. Never had he been naïve or foolish enough as some of his lesser consorts to believe he could truly live his mortal life forever. One day, his mighty flame would be extinguished and the last breath would leave his chest with his essence to rejoin the energy of the universe in molten, malleable creation. That fate was inevitable, but unlike most, Dualscar was wise enough to realize there was in fact one way to achieve the ever-elusive fantasy of immortality. For immortality, he realized after ponderous sleepless nights awake, lay not so much in the obsession with the time-weary and doomed aspiration of preserving the physical body, but with the preservation of ideas. Ideas could be timeless, ageless, and only intensify in power and mystique while a body could do nothing but wither and shrivel until it crumbled to naught but dust. A name, a legacy, a dynasty like no Troll had ever enjoyed in Alternia's belligerent annals of history would ensure that even long after his death, his shadow would still stretch across every sun that lit every world in every galaxy of space and time.

All he needed was something to create in his image; a wet lump of innocent clay to dig his claws into to scrape and tear until all fleshy layers of kindness and compassion had been stripped away and all that was left was the stony core for him to bleed his malice directly into. He needed a Troll of his own blood, of his own class and disposition. He needed a youngling snatched from the safety of its Lusus so early his would be the only face his chosen descendent remembered, his voice, his dark lullaby. He needed a ruthless warrior who would one day bow upon one knee and take from him the weapon with which he had built his empire of terror and take it up to continue seamlessly where his own reign had ended.

What he needed, was an heir.

A proper heir would ensure he lived on forever in the consciousness of existence and would never be erased. The only obstacle was actually returning to his home planet and procuring one. The permission of her Imperial Condescension was certainly an unnecessary trifle for a short trip back to Alternia. Despite the fact all fully-grown Trolls were still decreed banished, she needed not be bothered with his own personal agenda. Even if she somehow became privy to his minute transgression at some point, he knew her anger at him would be short lived and he could charm himself out of trouble with hardly any effort at all. The decision was a simple one, and with an unfettered direct order, nothing more, Dualscar ordered his mighty vessel back in the direction of home nearly forgotten. Neptune's Gambit made the journey before it could be detected by any of the Condesce's imperial security and made its way straight for the vast seas to seek out the hive of a worthy young seadweller.

It was easy enough to spot such a distinctive dwelling, even from the air, but even Dualscar was impressed that the very first domicile they chanced upon happened to be an old shipwreck perched cozily above the surf among the rocks of a tiny island. He alone descended back to the land, Ahab's Crosshairs in hand and stony purpose etched into his scarred face. His boots crunched in the cool sand and the tumultuous ocean air rumbled overhead as he watched the silhouette of the doting seahorse flit and flicker across the orange glow of the hive windows. So much like his own Lusus, comforting, calming, and yet the sudden twinge in his chest and the stall of his feet surprised him. Thousands of Trolls had been made orphans at his hand without a single iota of conscience to perturb him afterwards. How odd, he mused, to have a flash of remorse. Perhaps it was because it was to be a senseless killing; a robbery with no greater purpose for the life of noble custodian of a fellow seadweller. Perhaps in the furthest recesses of his psyche, Dualscar doubted himself and his grand design. Or perhaps he knew he could never hope to replace the companionship and protection of a true and nurturing Lusus. Either way, he rapidly extinguished all glimmers of hesitation or doubt, steeled his black will, and marched toward the door of the hive.

The seahorse sensed the shadow that had fallen over their home and danger approaching. Dualscar should have known to expect it. The very moment the door exploded and splintered into a thousand deadly missiles at his weapon's devastating blow the great beast was upon him. His charge safely stowed and hidden elsewhere in their home, he came at the intruder with the unbridled fury of a tempest, hissing a banshee wail with fins flared and bristling. The coiled tail sent the pirate reeling before he even saw the flash of pure white armor, and he crashed down amidst the rubble of the front door, smirking and impressed. It truly was a pity to destroy such a magnificent creature. The seahorse charged again, only to meet the butt of the Crosshairs as it whined and recharged for a second blast. Dualscar rose to his feet, a blur of blinding blue and purple satin, grinned at his opponent and flew to meet him in combat once more. Two bodies clashed and tangled violently. Glass shattered, two warriors cried out in pain, there was a scuffling of boots and scales on the ancient ship's floor planks, then finally a deafening blast cracked like thunder and rocked the crumbling ship to its foundations.

A spray of royal purple spattered across the floor.

Heavy footsteps shuffled past a broken, coiled white body that whickered its last and strained its muzzle toward the respite block where the door was open just an inch. Dualscar paid it no heed. He pushed the door before him open slowly, the creak of it shuddering and echoing coldly into the darkness, light bleeding in a sharp angle and spilling across the child's room. Fantastic adventure books lay scattered across the floor and piled on a stand near the recouperacoon. Elaborately carved wooden and bone wands, capes, and spangled wizard hats dotted the cozy little block, along with treasures, tattered old maps of worlds long forgotten, bangles and sentinel figurines of wizened sorcerers holding crystal balls and powerful staves.

Dualscar's lips quirked wryly to the side, amused at the sight, and he took one cautious step across the threshold. An unseen wand snapped loudly in half under his foot, staying his trek, but the sharp sound caused a yelp of terror and a purple cape draped suspiciously over the desk to flutter and jerk frantically. Shrewd yellow eyes hooded, and he made his way slowly over where something small and trembling coiled tightly around itself underneath. Crouching down on one knee slowly, he reached one hand out, gathered the silken fabric into it finger by finger, and gently pulled to unveil the terrified little Troll trying in vain to hide.

No more than two or three sweeps old, by the look of him, the boy gasped and turned frightened, wide golden eyes up toward his would be assailant. His hair was midnight black, like all of their kind, but Dualscar was pleased to see a shock of deep, rich purple at his forehead. His black shirt bore the same jagged insignia emblazoned on his chest that he did and the budding horns arcing back over his head were already sharply angular. His fins were drawn in close in abject terror, but the tears standing in his wavering eyes were unmistakably tinted with exactly the blood caste he had hoped to find. However, Dualscar was pleased when shock faded quickly from his face and the boy grit his jagged teeth, eyes flicking around his imposing form and around the room for something, anything, a way to defend himself, a way out, a way to live or go down fighting. Just what he longed for. He was perfection.

"Don't be afraid, lad," he crooned soothingly as he reached a hand out to card his strong fingers into the wavy black and purple locks, "I'm here to rescue you. To save you from a dull, pathetic life… To take you on the adventure of a lifetime… I'm here… To make you into everything you ever DARED to imagine… To make all your dreams come true."

The little Troll relaxed under Dualscar's soothing touch and his deep, rich voice that promised adventure and a life unparalleled by any other. Much to his delight, he even sat up, the fear on his face melting away into innocent curiosity as he wiped the tears from his eyes and studied this strange, brash explorer that had appeared, so very like magic, that fateful evening. In silence, they studied one another, master and apprentice, forging the unspoken bond that would spirit a boy away from his home and everything he had ever known.

"What's your name?" Dualscar asked at length.

"E-Eridan," the boy replied in a tiny voice, which he promptly corrected with an air of aristocracy, "Eridan Ampora."

A grin split the craggy, scarred face in twain in the darkness.

"Very well then, young Master Ampora. Shall we go?"

Eridan nodded and accepted the strong arms that gathered him up, swathed him in the cape, and hid him from the grisly wreckage of the life he agreed to abandon to the mists of memory. Later, Dualscar would tell the boy the heroic story of how he had rescued him from a terrible monster just keeping him to eat when he grew big and strong. Later he would show him everything that would one day be his; the ship that was the throne of his vast empire, his subjects that bowed with utmost reverence for their new prince as they walked by hand in hand, and the limitless vibrant ocean of the universe they would sail together. But in that moment, both were content in their newly blossomed trust, their arms around one another, the promise of something incredible, and the jeweled devotion of the greatest treasure the greatest pirate that had ever lived had plundered.


	2. The Monster in the Engine Room

**Author's Note: **Awwwww yiss and welcome to chapter one! I was able to hammer this out pretty quickly so I really REALLY hope to be good about updating this. So enjoy my wanton butchering of Eridan and Sollux's characters yippee ; w ;

**Chapter 1**

**The Monster in the Engine Room**

_6 Sweeps Later…_

His footfalls were holy metallic thunder that boomed through the halls of Neptune's Gambit as he blazed his furious path. The purple cape draped over his shoulders billowed majestically behind him, casting its twisted, dark and broad-winged silhouette against the walls. Airlocks hissed open and slammed shut in a staccato symphony of rage that warned all who heard them to beware, hide your face, the Prince was coming. His black lips coiled over a jagged sneer of contempt and loathing, his bangled fingers clenched, white-knuckled, at his sides, and the fins along his noble jaw line flared as the harsh light overhead glinted off of his black-rimmed spectacles, veiling his burning eyes filled with pale purple tears he dared not allow to fall. Not yet. Not while anyone could see.

33 dead, 12 injured, and at least another 6 still unaccounted for.

Those were the grim statistics Eridan could still hear snarled in Dualscar's enraged bellow as he shredded the damage report in his claws and hurled it into his face. 33 dead, 12 injured, and at least another 6 still unaccounted for. His latest foray into creating the perfect weapon had wound up being his most spectacular failure to date. Yet it had seemed so deliciously promising.

The ancient map written in blood, or what he had assumed was blood and gleefully convinced his mentor was blood, led their crew straight to a behemoth construct buried deep on a lifeless, abandoned planet in a desolate solar system orbiting a half dead star. After careful study and testing, the freakish thing proved to be a laser of some ilk powered by a mineral so powerful, so rare, not one among the hoards of Alternian crew had even heard of it. Eridan had been giddy with excitement, convinced it was finally the very thing that would allow them to destroy every land dweller on their home planet and every filthy rebel that dared question the elite once and for all. Dualscar had been gruffly skeptical. There was always a once and for all while Eridan was concerned, but eventually he reluctantly agreed to harvest the device and allow his protégé to tinker with it.

For weeks, Eridan consulted with all of the best blue-blooded engineers on board Neptune's Gambit to clean, ratchet, bolt and remold his new toy into something truly magnificent; a doomsday device and an icon of terror befitting the Heir to the Orphaner name. The young seadweller had been beaming with pride and filled with sweeping rhetoric and bravado as he showed his completed opus off, but Dualscar remained dubious. In the end, however, Eridan's charmingly bloodthirsty grin behind his bookish spectacles and wanton disregard for lowblood life won his captain and guardian over and he had allowed his usual test run on a random unfortunate planet. He knew better than to face Alternia on a whim and an assumption. One inkling of any kind of retaliation against the landwellers and the damned leader of the rebellion, the elusive Summoner, would be hunting his hide with every ounce of vengeance he possessed; which was to say the least, formidable. Certainty was vital.

Dualscar allowed Eridan to select a nearby world. He permitted him to select his crew, the date and the time, even the village on the poor unsuspecting planet that would suffer his experimental wrath, and sat back to watch behind the safety of Neptune's Gambit's cockpit glass. Eridan marched out with all the regal haughtiness of a seasoned dictator. Flanked by his heavily armed enforcement, he proclaimed the destruction of their pitiful society in a perfect ominous oratory of doom. The villagers cowered in his wicked shadow and cruel laughter, held one another, gasped in horror as one as Eridan ordered the device be readied, and fell to their knees in prayer. They didn't even notice when the laser sputtered and jammed with a sickening screech and a rain of eerily glowing sparks. They prayed to their primitive Gods for help as Eridan swore and kicked at the controls. The deafening whine of overheating power cells drowned out his shrieks of horror as the mechanism detonated and decimated an entire phalanx of Dualscar's intrepid pirate crew. Eridan's meticulously crafted plan exploded into sheer pandemonium while the creatures seized their moment to defend themselves and the ensuing chaos had left, as Dualscar took irate pleasure in reminding him, 33 dead, 12 injured, and at least another 6 still unaccounted for.

At a mere eight sweeps old, Eridan Ampora was already the greatest disappointment ever to sail the cosmic winds under the Orphaner's flag.

Failure after failure plagued his tutelage. Faulty weapons of mass destruction, maps that lead to nowhere, or worse, useless trinkets of a bygone technological era, grand schemes with painfully obvious and gaping holes, and an undaunted enthusiasm to continue his fruitless treasure hunting had tainted every waking moment Dualscar had spent attempting to teach him his ways. But for Eridan, the dream of swashbuckling adventures and vast, untold treasures still thrived in his heart as vividly as it had lived on the pages of his books. To him, the universe was ripe for the picking, filled with secrets and hidden vessels of untold power and glory that could only propel further them into godlike renown. Being a far more pragmatic strategist, Dualscar often found himself at polar odds with his young charge and with a crippling migraine, an expensive damage bill, and more often than not a crewmember to replace.

The scathing look of volatile disappointment tinged in barely restrained violence on Dualscar's battered face always served as the fractured finale to his broken dreams. Eridan couldn't bear it. After every defeat he fled, escaped somewhere into the furthest reaches of the ship where he could swear and curse fate and wallow in the crushing disillusionment in himself without having to worry about one more thing for his master to disapprove of. One by one his hiding places had all been ferreted out, however, when he would eventually come looking for him, leaving Eridan with fewer and fewer places to conceal himself. And if he ever needed to vanish, that day more than ever he needed somewhere in the deepest, darkest reaches of Neptune's Gambit where none would dare seek him out. Unconsciously, he knew just the place.

The engine room.

Few dared to even venture down there thanks to a ridiculous rumor no doubt spread by the ignorant, superstitious lower blooded members of the crew. A monster prowled the twisting wires and server hubs, some whispered. Others argued it was a phantom, or a beast, a creature made of pure energy and malice that could tear a Troll limb from limb before they even caught a glimpse of their own death. For several sweeps it had become routine for every few weeks or so to catch a Troll fleeing for his or her life from the belly of the ship, white in the face and babbling incoherently about some nameless horror. Dualscar always had them promptly flogged and sentenced to cleaning duty for a month and that would be the end of that. Until of course it all happened again when some other moron decided to tempt fate and scare themselves half to death out of their own paranoia.

Eridan sneered to himself as he descended lower, out of sight, into the bowels of Neptune's Gambit where the lights dimmed to an eerie rusty orange and wrought mangled black shadows on the walls. He approached the towering engine room door fearlessly, unshackled the heavy steel bar sealing the mechanical tomb and shoved it open with all of his strength. The ancient barrier screeched shrilly into the darkness of the darkened pit of the engine room, lit only by the most minimal of flood lamps and the grid of blinking lights on the boundless computer system that ran the entire ship. A dull mechanical hum filled the still air with its kinetic presence, interrupted only by the violent slam of the door as Eridan shoved it shut and finally unleashed the guttural snarl of ire that had been festering in his chest the entire journey down.

A string of colorful oaths finally escaped his lips as he stalked furiously down the winding passageways, tangling his claws into his black and purple tresses. He paid very little attention to where he was actually going, save for avoiding the occasional serpentine bundle of wires or tubing snaking across the floor or ducking underneath a low hanging pipe. All he cared about was finally breathing, finally unleashing his pent frustrations and getting as far away from his failure as he could without hurling himself out into the vacuum of space never to be spoken of again. He seethed and snarled as he blindly navigated the maze of servers and control panels and whirring, feet moving faster and faster until he was running. He ran, turned corners, let the tears roll down his cheeks and the ire pour out of him with reckless abandon, finally reaching the inevitable dead end in a remote corner of a cluster of computer towers. There, he threw himself against the harsh metal and drove a fist into the delicate hardware beside his face, denting the case and letting the satisfyingly cacophonous clang resonate through every chamber until it faded to but a whisper and a sudden snarky voice took its place instead.

"_Hey, easy with the merchandise, pal. This is quality shit!"_

It came from nowhere and everywhere at once, irritated, nasally, and with a distinct lisp. Eridan's head shot up, eyes wide and searching frantically through the darkness. At first, he could scarcely believe it, but as if it had seen the cynical look on his face and just to prove him wrong the voice chimed in a second time.

"You heard me…"

This time, Eridan growled and whipped around defensively.

"Who's there? Where are you? I demand you show yourself this instant!" the seadweller demanded in as firm a voice he could muster.

A beat of silence settled over the engine room before a snicker broke it and the voice spoke again.

"Who wants to know?" it whimsically inquired.

Eridan straightened himself up and smoothed out his cape importantly, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin to address his invisible antagonist.

"Second in command and future Captain of Neptune's Gambit, Eridan Ampora, that's who!" he declared, "Now show yourself immediately or I will have no choice but to force you to!"

The voice cackled again.

"Ohh I'm so terrified. I'm shaking! Second in command Eridan Ampora's coming after me! The snotty face and wussy tears make for a truly intimidating profile of a badass leader, for sure. Color me sufficiently petrified oh wise and terrible prince."

Eridan's cheeks colored a faint purple and he scrubbed at his eyes underneath his glasses furiously.

"I am not CRYING…" he hissed, "I'm just- Well I- I'm just royally pissed off if that's alright with you! It's nothing!"

"Right. Nothing at all. Just a little dust in your eyes? Allergies? Or maybe just cripplingly shitty self-esteem and a raging case of complete and total douchebag syndrome. Here, I'll fix it for you."

A flicker of red and blue light flashed around his glasses for a split second before they leapt of their own accord off of his face and flew several feet through the air. He reached out for them, but before he could take even one step his cape flipped up over his head and plastered against his face. Startled and more than a little mortified, Eridan yelped and struggled comically with his own suddenly mischievous garment, finally managing to wrench it off of his jagged horns without tearing it and hurl it indignantly back into its proper place. His chest heaved for breath, gray cheeks tinted an even brighter purple with rage and embarrassment, and once he realized there was laughter ringing through the stale air clenched his fists and forced himself to gather his senses.

"That is NOT funny!" he finally snapped.

"I dunno, looks pretty funny to me!" the disembodied, lispy voice continued.

"I'll have you know, whatever the hell you are, that I could have this entire engine room fumigated! I could have your ass hunted down by every last musclebound nook-whiffing bruiser on this ship! And it's not like you could escape! We're on a SHIP, in the middle of SPACE! I could have the temperature controls turned off so your fucked up think pan or whatever the fuck you have melts inside your-!" Eridan had to stop his tirade, as his glasses had mystically returned, floating in midair and flashing blue and red.

He made a furious snatch for them, but they darted easily out of his grip and twirled mockingly in the air over his head.

"Give those BACK!" he screeched.

"No way!"

Eridan continued snatching fruitlessly the air for his swooping spectacles and was obliviously unaware that his shoelaces had lit up in the very same alternating blue and red energy. They neatly untied themselves and twined together between the blue and purple sneakers in a new and wickedly impossible knot. The laces tugged one last time, just to be certain they were secure, and then Eridan's glasses finally floated harmlessly away and lighted atop a computer platform. Their owner grinned, turned, and promptly tripped over his own feet and landed flat on his face on the cold steel floor. The voice erupted into laughter, leaving Eridan to uncoil from the tangle of limbs and gape down at his shoes in horror.

"Why would- How did? God damn it this is getting old really fucking fast!" he called out, yanking violently at his hopelessly tangled laces.

"Hardly! This is the most fun I've had in ages! Please, continue to be a babbling uncoordinated, clueless buffoon! The role suits you better than second in command Eridan Ampora, anyway," the voice replied.

"And what the hell do you know? You're just a rumor! A myth! The-"

"The monster in the engine room? Yeah, I get that a lot."

If he thought he heard a hint of regret in the sarcastic, grating voice, Eridan brushed it off as he retied his shoes and stood, stalking to snatch his glasses back and slide them with what little dignity he had remaining back onto his face.

"Well, rest assured that this transgression shall not go unpunished! You've caused quite enough pandemonium on my ship and the moronic lowbloods don't need to be any more ignorant and panicky than they already are!" he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh they don't… Do they?" the voice rang out in reply, softer, colder than before.

"Well did you ever stop to consider… Maybe I've just been fucking with you? Maybe there's a reason once someone comes down here… They never want to return?"

A dark tone seeped into the entity that had been sarcastic and playful, and with the deadly turn of its timbre the lights along the corridor where Eridan stood went out. His spine went rigid and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end, but he did not allow the alarm to register on his face. Instead he kept his regal pose and wrinkled his nose haughtily.

"You're bluffing," he sniffed, shutting his eyes.

"Am I?"

Something slammed and rumbled in the deep distance. Eridan's eyes flew right back open. Electric blue and red energy crackled and tangled around the very husks of the computers flanking him on either side and lifted them effortlessly from their foundations.

"Maybe I am…"

The seadweller's jaw fell open. The walls of his former alcove of respite and safety began to close in on him as the far wall slid grotesquely back into the oblivion of a single red light where he swore he saw two blazing eyes and a crooked, hungry grin.

"Or maybe… I just want to be left the hell alone."

Eridan's feet remained rooted to the floor, unable to process the sudden descent into horror.

"Just MAYBE, I want to keep assholes like you out of MY engine room!"

The walls continued to close in on him, like the darkness itself moving to swallow him whole, but it took his ever-present blue striped scarf yanking taut around his throat to finally shatter his petrifaction into sheer unbound terror. He yanked the beloved garment unceremoniously off with a garbled cry and finally scrambled on inelegant desperate legs back from whence he had come, leaving it crumpled in a tragic heap. Laughter echoed around him as he sprinted as fast as his body would allow, along with one final sentiment from his phantom.

"See you around, Fishface."

Even in the midst of unbridled panic, the almost lovingly lisped nickname made an irate tingle crawl up Eridan's back and he skidded to a halt, growling over his shoulder.

"FISHF-" he started to repeat indignantly, only to witness every last wire or tube behind him come to life like a pit of vipers and reach out for him.

The undignified shriek he emitted he would later be infinitely grateful no one was there to hear except his mysterious phantom. Turning back around and running face first into a server tower slid directly into his path would be another, pinching his bleeding nose shut and flailing through the twisting passageways back to the entrance. The door would not budge for what seemed like eternity, but finally the frazzled seadweller clawed it open, and hurled himself into the safety and sanity of the world of the living and mortal and not monster or phantom. He shoved the heavy lock back into place and spun around, pressing his back against it and gasping for breath, chest heaving and a thin trail of purple leaking from his nose and over his upper lip.

It was the heat and the bitter taste of it that snapped him back to reality. He wiped the last of the blood clumsily away and stared at it on his fingertips, incredulous, unsure if what he had just experienced was all real or just a figment of his imagination and sorrow. The blood remained, an unmistakable souvenir and a reminder to trust what he had witnessed. He glanced over his shoulder again at the door and hesitated briefly before peeling himself away and hurrying with purpose back up to the main decks of the ship, for the first time considering that the crewmembers he had snootily dismissed before had actually been telling the truth all along and swearing he could still hear mirthful laughter echoing from the depths of Neptune's Gambit.


	3. A Little Night Monster Hunting

**Author's Note: **Ohhh my god this is WAY TOO LONG IN COMING and it is SO SHORT I'M SO SORRY AUGH. But I think it's halfway decent for something I slammed out. Ugh, this was so much more epic and awesome in my head! Oh well, I guess when you deal with Eridan and Sollux things turn into a nerdy snipefest. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

**Chapter 2**

**A Little Night Monster Hunting**

If there was anyone who absolutely, unequivocally, and undeniably needed to know first and foremost the ordeal Eridan had just been through, it was Dualscar. Despite their not insignificant differences and despite the fact he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he was still livid with him, Eridan flew up through the middle decks and to the upper decks of Neptune's Gambit toward the captain's personal quarters where he was sure to be recuperating. And more than likely drinking something hard from his personal and secret stash to forget the latest sting in a long series of embarrassing debacles. A few crewmembers turned their heads as their prince whizzed past, noting the blood on his face and the lack of his scarf, and shared a private smirk and joke about what could have caused his frazzled state of dishevelment. Eridan pointedly ignored them and forewent his usual caustic, pedantic remarks about their miserably low status in favor of running faster and leaving them behind. He had much more important things to deal with. Soon, the elaborate double airlock of Dualscar's private chambers came into his eager view, and his ringed fingers could not punch his personal code fast enough. The doors hissed open, he bolted inside, and scrambled to the imposing figure haloed in dim light at the far end of the room.

"Dualscar! DUALSCAR! SIR!"

Dualscar's fingers tightened on his glass and a vein pulsed irately out on his temple. He stood at the grand windows of his bedroom; paned and elegant pressure resistant glass to give him one of the very few rooms of the ship with an actual panoramic view of the diamond studded cosmos. A purple satin robe with his symbol in black on his back draped over his broad shoulders and fell over his deadly physique in such a way to resemble a sheathed weapon, a predator at rest. He remained still, hard yellow eyes leveled out at a distant swirling galaxy, scarred brow furrowed, even as his ward came scurrying up noisily behind him, and took a slow, deliberate swig of the strong spirits in his glass.

"Sir?"

"Eridan… Why don't you go play with your little treasure maps or something some more? Something NOT potentially catastrophic and lethal? I've had about all I can handle of you today," Dualscar commented nastily without turning around.

Eridan clenched his fists and resisted the urge to stamp a petulant foot on the tile.

"They are not TOYS! And I don't fucking PLAY with-" he stopped himself before he said something he knew he would regret, flailing his hands, "Never mind! I'm not here about that anyway! This is important!"

"Yes yes… Just like this mystical magical laser beam that blew up in our fuckin' faces was important. And the planet destroying bomb that turned out to be a dud was fuckin' important, and the mind control device that did nothin' but explode brains inside my crew's heads was important, and how every little tiny goddamn useless thing is so direly IMPORTANT! Well let me tell you something, not EVERY last-" the captain started viciously as he turned to face Eridan, his voice changing to softer, if weary, confusion as he finally beheld his battered face and rumpled clothes, "Lad. Is your… Nose bleeding? And where is your scarf? You never go anywhere without that damned thing…"

Eridan looked taken aback.

"Huh? My-?" he muttered, touching his nose and his bare neck experimentally before he remembered vividly the reason for both, "Okay, yes my nose is fucking bleeding and my scarf is gone, but that's what I wanted to talk to you about! I SAW it."

What little concern there was on Dualscar's face immediately melted away into aggravation.

"Saw _what_…?" he groaned, rolling his eyes and turning away, "Please tell me this isn't another pitch for a halfcocked, bullshit expedition to some ancient lost shithole for yet another worthless piece of epic junk. I really don't think I can cope."

"No it's not! It's really not! I swear! I really did see it! Well not… Saw it saw it, but I talked to it! And it had the fucking gall to fuck with me! It's REAL!" Eridan continued, gesticulating wildly.

Dualscar heaved a sigh that crumbled into a guttural growl.

"WHAT is real, boy? You're really starting to get on my-"

"The monster! The one down in the engine room!"

Dualscar said nothing, but Eridan took the unreadable expression on his face as an invitation to elaborate.

"Look, I know we laughed it off and had a good time making fun of how stupid the lowbloods in the crew are, but they were right! There really is something down there! A really snarky sarcastic asshole something, but something! It took my glasses clean off my face, stole my scarf, moved all the equipment around and very well tried to kill me! I was lucky to get away with just a bloody nose! There's something fucking down there, you've got to believe me!" he pleaded.

A beat of silence passed between them before Dualscar's lips quirked in the slightest of smirks

"I know."

"Please!" Eridan continued, feverishly oblivious, "Dualscar I know my ideas aren't the best on _rare_ occasions, but this time you have to- Wait… You KNOW?"

He stopped himself, jaw dropping open and eyes going flabbergasted wide.

"Of course I do. You don't think a captain wouldn't know every last fucking inch of his own fucking ship, do you?" Dualscar retorted with a snort.

He glided across the room and back to the ornate cabinet where he kept his crystal bottles of liquor to refill his glass as his protégé regained his wits.

"I well… Uh… No. Of course not," a chagrined Eridan spluttered as he watched, "But… But if you know… What the fuck is it? And why the fuck didn't I know about it before now?"

A sigh left the seadweller's lips as the last drops of alcohol splashed into his glass and he stoppered the bottle once more.

"I suppose it's about time I told you. Especially now that you fell ass first onto it, anyway, so you don't do anything stupid," he mused, turning back to face Eridan and lean rakishly against the cabinet, "He's certainly not a monster, although, one could argue that can be left up to interpretation. He's a Psionic."

Dualscar let that revelation hang in the air as enlightenment illuminated Eridan's face.

"A gift from her Imperious Condescension herself, as a matter of fact. The best. How else do you think we have eluded capture by every last bounty hunter or so-called righteous defender of the universe that's come after us thus far? He's the most powerful Psionic ever harvested from Alternia's unwashed lowblooded hoards. Well, next to her own Helmsman, of course."

Eridan couldn't help but notice the bitterness with which he spoke of their empress' servant, but wisely ignored it.

"But why?" he inquired, "Why lie about it? Why let everyone go on believing there was something really evil down there when you knew what it was all along?"

The half grin on Dualscar's lips immediately turned wicked.

"Ahh that's the thing. And this is a lesson you ought to learn and learn damn well, boy. Fear," Dualscar's deep timbre filled the chamber with its dark resonance as he paced across his window, "Fear is a far, far more powerful protection than any lock, any door, and barrier. Fear keeps people compliant, fear keeps them stupid and panicky and away from things they have no business fucking around with. A lock only makes them curious. Makes them think you have something to hide, that you have some weakness, makes them think they can sneak behind your back to get to your secrets and then put a knife in it. The psionic belongs to me, and I intend to keep it that way. No questions asked."

Eridan watched and listened, sneering and balling his fists vengefully at his sides.

"Well someone ought to show him his place! How dare he treat the crew like his own personal creepy puppet theatre! How dare he treat ME that way!" he snapped loftily, "I won't stand for this!"

Instead of the proud response and encouragement to seek revenge for his humiliating snubbing he had hoped for, his mentor waved a hand dismissively with a grunt.

"Leave him be, Eridan. He gets away with a lot because he knows how valuable he is, unfortunately. But he's no real danger. Pissing him off isn't going to do any good at all. Besides, he's mine, he's a son of a bitch to cope with in the first place, I don't need him all riled up just because you're embarrassed he got the better of you," he growled.

"But-!"

"No buts!"

Dualscar leveled a scathing glare down at the younger seadweller that arrested any further protest abruptly in his throat.

"Go up to your respiteblock, Eridan. It's late. Go to sleep, and we'll talk again tomorrow. I still need to speak with you about what happened. And no more about the Psionic. That is an order," he said with such cold finality Eridan had no choice but to bow his head and submit.

"Yes, sir."

"Good lad. Come see me first thing tomorrow night."

"Yes, sir."

The boy knew better than to even consider saying anything else and turned, defeated, to slink out the door, leaving Dualscar to his drink and his solitude. Eridan trudged slowly back to his chambers through the deserted halls as the lights in the ship went off one sector at a time and the day cycle began. Dualscar's words and the harrowing encounter with the sarcastic wraith that haunted the engine room rung in his skull, along with the empty metallic echo of his lone footsteps. They haunted him as he entered through the airlock into his personal respiteblock, changed his clothes, and scrubbed his bruised face clean of the dried purple blood.

His surly reflection stared back at him, eyes narrowed in scathing disappointment. Failure, yet again, tainted every last herculean effort. The blood of the crew was on his hands, he was ignorant of one of the vital innermost workings of the ship he was to one day inherit, he had been made a mockery of himself, been robbed, humiliated, and then sent to his room like a petulant wiggler without even a chance to redeem himself and exact revenge. His life remained a sisyphean cycle of torment and shame with nary a glimmer of hope, save one. Something he had never done before in his entire eight sweeps of existence; defy Dualscar's orders.

Eridan's eyes widened and the breath caught in his chest at the mere notion. Yet, if he could steal away into the dungeon, take back his beloved scarf, teach the Psionic a harsh lesson in respect and cement himself as his master for the era to come, perhaps, just perhaps, he thought, it might win him back some respect from his master. If nothing else, it would alleviate that crushing feeling in his chest that always plagued him every time his schemes went awry, and win back the fragment of dignity chiseled away with naught but a psychic red and blue light and a few caustic remarks. The reflection's face turned from despair and hatred to gleeful determination and a renewed vigor, and Eridan flung himself away to arm himself for battle.

His pulse rifle waited patiently on the stand beside his recouperacoon, a smaller, less impressive and absolutely less powerful weapon than the coveted Ahab's Crosshairs, but certainly enough to defend against a mischievous yellow blood, which slung over his back. He rummaged around in his drawers until he found an old flashlight that still worked and replaced his glasses and his cape neatly. He allowed a few more moments to pass, waiting for all signs and sounds of life to die down in the ship, waiting for all the systems to go into sleep mode and for all the crew to settle in and hope for a night of few nightmares before he struck out into the halls again on silent feet like a voracious predator through the wilds of his home planet searching for an unsuspecting morsel to gorge upon.

Retracing his enraged flight from earlier was no consequence and soon, Eridan found himself once more opening the heavy iron door and slipping into the electric hum and eerie stillness of the engine room. Once securely inside with the door fastened shut, he clicked on his flashlight and let the thin beam of pallid light illuminate his path through the winding maze of conduits and servers and machinery. For what seemed like hours, he hunted, looking for any sign of their strife, or his scarf, or anything that looked remotely familiar to lead him to the dead end where the Psionic had been close enough to torment him.

"I know what you are now!" he would call out experimentally, then taunt, "Lowblood! Psionic! Slave!"

When no answer to his exclamations came, he continued on, undaunted.

"You can't fool me again!" he informed the Helmsman of Neptune's Gambit.

Again, only silence replied. Eridan rounded another corner that felt vaguely familiar, rifle at the ready and flashlight beam always one step ahead of him. The metal casing of the server to his right caught the light in an obtuse glint, revealing a good-sized dent and, much to his delight, what appeared to be a faint smear of blood.

"I know you can hear me!" he announced, "And you can't hide forever! Might as well just give in and show yourself! I said! I know what you are now, Psionic! I know!"

Finally, the same annoyed, nasally voice with a lisp echoed from realms unknown around him.

"You want a prize or something? Sorry I'm fresh out of trophies and medals today, I am SO embarrassed," it droned sarcastically.

Eridan froze. He spun around once looking for the source of the voice, finger on the trigger and fingers gripping his flashlight tight.

"Coward! Show yourself!" he snapped.

The Psionic laughed, the sound echoing through the entire pit of the vast engine room.

"Don't flip your shit, I haven't even done anything yet!" he goaded.

"I am not flipping my shit! My shit remains decidedly unflipped and at ease thank you very much! And it will stay that way now that I know what you are and that you can't actually do anything to me!" Eridan replied nastily.

"So you finally figured it out, huh? Or did Dickhole Dualscar have to draw you a fucking diagram?"

"I would have figured it out on my own eventually!" Eridan retorted, shuffling along the wall and creeping stealthily toward the sound of the voice.

"Sure, sure. Just like you've managed to figure out how to be the greatest pirate in the history of the universe so quickly. Your intellect is truly dizzying. I feel faint just you being this close to me. Please, spare me the inevitable aneurysm from your sheer face melting illustriousness and turn back now."

Eridan rounded another corner and pressed himself up against the metal walls. He extinguished the flashlight and stashed it in his pocket, using both hands to aim the rifle should he come face to face with the very thing he sought.

"Are you always this sarcastic or is it just my lucky fucking sleep cycle?" spat the highblood.

"Only on alternate perigees, you just caught me at a bad time. Too bad. I write eloquent poetry and toss the petals of rare and exotic flowers at the feet of my visitors otherwise," came the mocking retort.

With a roll of his eyes and his nose wrinkled in disgust, Eridan quickened his pace.

"Oh haha, very funny. You're a talented fucking comedian for a slave, you know that?" he jeered. 

"I try."

A faint glow pulsed and flashed and undulated between a blood red and a deep blue from the chamber at the end of the passage he stalked. The air took on the same distinct kinetic energy it had when the Psionic's powers had touched him before and the hair on the back of Eridan's neck stood in anticipation. He was close. He could feel it in his gut. His quarry waited for him. He tightened his grip on his rifle, sucked in air between his teeth, and poised himself at the mouth to oblivion.

"Well don't go to all that trouble on my account. Right now about all I want is for you to shut your incessant shit spewing seed flap and to give back what's MINE!" he roared as he hurled himself around the bend and leveled his weapon at the pillar of light and machinery before him.

The rifle leapt out of his hands and skittered across the floor. The flashlight followed, yanked from his pocket and smashed into a thousand glittering pieces. Eridan himself suddenly felt a cold, invisible grip around his throat and hurtled backwards into the wall with only his heels scraping along the floor. There he stopped, writhing against his invisible bonds, trapped within a fraction of a second and at the mercy of the monstrous thing before him.

"Whoa, easy there striped roarbeast. Who let you out of your respiteblock with this dangerous toy? Let's play nice, shall we?"

Suspended in a jungle of pink, bioelectric tendrils, clad in a yellow and black jumpsuit that bore his symbol like a brand of slavery on his very skin, the Psionic hung, plugged directly into the central hub of everything that ran Neptune's Gambit and made it the fastest, deadliest ship in the universe. His red and blue eyes flashed behind the protective goggles strapped securely around his head crowed with a set of double horns, and his lips curled over his twin fangs in a crooked grin as he loomed, omnipotent and deadly.

"Nice to finally meet you face to face, Second in Command Eridan Ampora. And I do have a NAME you realize," he informed his squirming captive.

Eridan's lips and jaw formed the motions of words, but made nary a squeak. All he could do was gape at the horrific sight of the ship's core, its spirit and essence.

"It's Sollux. Sollux Captor. And I'll thank you to use it from now on."


	4. Interview with the Helmsman

**Author's Note: **Okay this chapter took longer than expected because I visited home for spring break and spent it rolling around doing nothing XT Then had to come back and get back to my routines and ARGH. But here it is! And I had fun writing this one too XT Dialogue is the best! Hopefully I didn't butcher our beloved boys TOO badly, and now we get FINALLY into the beginnings of an unlikely friendship u ; ENJOY!

**Chapter 3**

**Interview with the Helmsman**

Eridan's brain made a feeble attempt at processing the information bombarding it and promptly shut down altogether. Left with little choice, he continued to thrash and claw at his throat as if somehow, he might actually be able to extricate himself from the intangible blue and red noose around his neck.

"Wh- You-! U-Unhand me! Let me go this INSTANT! You'll pay for this!" he choked.

Sollux continued to look revoltingly pleased with himself.

"Not until you say the magic word!" he tutted, lifting his chin haughtily.

The royal blood boiling in the seadweller's veins was almost palpable.

"Fuck you sideways!" he bellowed.

"Fair enough," Sollux conceded, and abruptly released the Psionic hold around the other's throat.

His captive crumpled to the ground in a gasping, seething, coughing and spluttering heap, buried under the folds of his cape. It took him all of an awkward moment to wrestle himself back out and sit back up on his knees, glaring daggers at the Helmsman that had erupted into hysterics.

"I'm glad one of us is amused!" Eridan barked vengefully, "Because I sure as hell ain't laughing!"

Sollux snorted and calmed his laughter, cocking his head to the side and narrowing his eyes almost curiously.

"I was just saying hello! I mean, this is sort of my place and all," he replied amusedly.

"Wh-? What the fuck kind of a greeting is that?" Eridan snarled between ragged breaths.

"Well. I'd shake your hand, but…"

A momentary expression of discomfort flashed over Eridan's face as he glanced at the Psionic's arms bound into the ship's controls above his head, which he quickly hid by clearing his throat into his fist and rising to his feet.

"Yes, well… As future Captain of Neptune's Gambit and your future master you ought to be showing me a little fucking respect!" he announced with a renewed sense of superiority.

"Well alright then. Anything else I can do for you this fine whatever the fuck time it is? Other than bow submissively at your feet? Oh right… Sorry. Won't be able to do that one for you either, how silly of me," Sollux snorted, his lispy voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Just shut up! That's what you can do!" Eridan quipped back and slowly began pacing around the newfound oddity.

Certainly he had heard tales of the Condesce's legendary consort who made her imperial flagship by far the deadliest in the universe, but he had never stopped to consider how that would actually work in practice. Sollux had literally become part of the ship, buried to his waist in the neuron like tendrils of a vast, gruesome control panel with his arms suspended painfully into the ceiling above. They sapped his powers, drained the skills directly from his body and repurposed them to fuel the vessel's deadly flight. Eridan's knowledge and hypothesis ended there. Readings and messages fluttered across monitors and just as quickly disappeared. Lights flickered, gauges hovered and hopped at stable levels, but nothing made any kind of logical sense.

"Like what you see?" Sollux inquired at length.

As he just so happened to be at his side and peering around the control panel, inspecting the tendrils creeping up the small of his back, Eridan flushed briefly in indignation and jerked back.

"Absolutely not! I've just never… Actually seen it before…" he replied.

"Then by all means continue gawking like a fish out of water. It's pretty funny from this angle."

Eridan chose to ignore the comment in favor of organizing his line of questioning in his head.

"So then. Do you sleep?" he asked after a moment, thumbing his chin.

Sollux raised an eyebrow.

"No, but that's not so bad really. Don't have to deal with the nightmares anymore," he answered with refreshing sincerity.

A contemplative grunt left Eridan's lips as he committed the response to memory.

"And do you have to eat?" he continued, eyes narrowed appraisingly behind his glasses.

"No, that would be moronic. Why would they bother feeding me when they can hook me up to-" Sollux began before he realized exactly what he was saying, "You know, fuck this. What's with the sudden round of twenty fucking questions? Why should I tell you jack shit?"

Eridan's nose instantly lifted in the air, his arms crossed over his chest, and his upper lip twitched over his fangs in annoyance.

"Because apparently you need to be reminded yet again. Which is fine, I understand lowblood intellects cannot possibly hope to contend with mine. You are obligated to answer any and all of my questions because I am future captain of this ship and your future master and I am ordering you to!" he puffed.

Sollux said nothing. Rather his face remained stonily skeptical as he stared blankly at the display of royal arrogance and immediately saw right through it.

"The illustrious Orphaner made you feel like shit because you didn't know what the fuck I was, didn't he?" he said flatly.

So shocked was Eridan at the freakish insight, he couldn't contain the garbled cry that wrenched past his lips.

"N-No! This is my own reconnaissance mission!" he spluttered too swiftly, "Dualscar didn't want to bother with trivial details about some freakish mutant pissblood in the engine room and so I took it upon myself!"

"Ahhh, I see. How _very_ proactive of you," Sollux crooned mockingly.

"Shut up and quit being a patronizing shit! Just answer my fucking questions so I can go to sleep and you can go back to being alone and miserable and whatever the fuck else you do. And give me back what you STOLE from me!" Eridan continued his demands unflaggingly.

"What I stole? I don't follow, I knew I should have coded a psychobabble translator into my circuits, damn," Sollux retorted, much to the seadweller's aggravation.

"You know very well what I mean! My scarf!" he sibilated.

"Ohhhhh that," the other Troll sang, the smug look on his face cluing Eridan he knew very well what he had been talking about all along, "Well, I don't know. Gets kind of chilly down here in deep space, think I might hang onto it for a while."

Eridan's lower eyelid twitched briefly.

"So be it. Keep the damn thing for all I care. All I want is information!"

"No chance I can persuade you to get the fuck out?"

"None whatsoever!"

"Then sure, whatever fine. Have at it. Knock yourself out. Not like my sleep cycle was going to get any more exciting anyway," Sollux droned in exasperated monotone.

Unaware of much else other than he had finally gotten his way, Eridan grinned in satisfaction.

"Excellent! Now was that so hard?"

"Yes," Sollux tried to intone, but his voice was lost in the question that followed.

"So how old are you, exactly?"

The Psionic sighed, drooping a little in his enclosure.

"Nine," he answered bluntly.

"I see, and how long have you piloted Neptune's Gambit?" Eridan continued briskly.

"Uhh... About two sweeps. Since I was seven and a half or so."

The other Troll nodded, thumbing his chin and furrowing his brow as if in deep concentration and taking meticulous mental notes.

"And were you Helmsman of another vessel prior to this?"

"No, luckily I had the luxury of being so talented I was just automatically assigned to the second best ship in the universe. What do you think asshat? Just how many Psionics do you think her Imperious bitchness is willing to give away as party favors?" Sollux barked moodily.

Even though his patience had already been worn thin, Eridan let the comment roll off his back with only a wrinkled nose and a slightly curled lip.

"I'll let that comment slide for now, but the next time you choose to insult her Imperious Condescension I won't be so fucking merciful! Tell me, how does all of this work, exactly? Do you still have all of your um," he queried, twirling a hand in the air to gesture to the mutant body encased in the ship.

"Yeah it's all still there alright," Sollux bitterly grumbled, "Each one of these delightful little things plugs straight into a point on my nervous system. Luckily they can't directly access my brain so I enjoy at least the benefit of free will while they sap my powers, drain my body and my spirit, and control every other aspect of my miserable, pathetic existence."

The barrage of questions paused for a moment as Eridan dared to inch closer and inspect the nightmarish construct. As Sollux reported, once he was near enough he witnessed the gruesome series of wires and tendrils fused and buried into his gray, yellow bruised skin. They glittered blue and red faintly in the dim light, feeding off the energy exuded from the Psionic's very being and corralling it mercilessly into the network of Neptune's Gambit.

"Do they… Hurt?" Eridan ventured after a long silence.

"All the time," Sollux said without hesitation or sarcasm.

A momentary wince flickered across Eridan's face before he banished it and straightened himself up importantly.

"Well good! Serves you right for being such a smartass piece of shit!" he huffed, "And besides! You can control pretty much anything on the ship, correct? A small price to pay for so much power!"

"Go ahead and think that if it helps you sleep during the day," was the only retort Sollux bothered to offer.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" the seadweller snarled back, narrowing his eyes behind his spectacles.

"You're such a smart, amazing, perfect guy, why don't you figure it out?" came the flippant answer with a toss of the Helmsman's double-horned head.

"Oh, real mature of you. Real fucking classy remark! You wanna throw in an 'I know you are but what am I?' while you're at it?" Eridan snapped.

"Says the guy who believed in monsters in the engine room and wears a security blanket around his shoulders all the time."

Eridan gasped in sheer outrage.

"It is NOT a security blanket, it's a cape!"

"Same difference," Sollux snorted.

"It is most certainly not the same thing! A cape is a symbol of power. Of dignity and commanding respect!" Eridan corrected him indignantly, "Dualscar wears one and so do I because we are the supreme rulers of this ship. Everyone knows that!"

Sollux took a moment to decide if Eridan was truly believing the nonsense spewing out of his own mouth or if he was serving him a scathing slice of his own sarcasm in retaliation. It only took that brief moment to realize he was completely serious.

"You're shitting me right? Because I'm pretty fucking sure that only wigglers think capes are cool. The rest of us woke up and realized we looked like total douchebags about five sweeps ago," he informed him amusedly.

"What the hell are you going on about? What reason would a lowblood wiggler have for wearing a cape?" Eridan inquired with earnest.

The continued sincerity and bafflement from his uninvited guest continued to deeply perplex and vex Sollux whose brow furrowed and mismatched eyes squinted.

"Are you for real? Who even says a thing like that? What kind of fucked up wigglerhood did you have?" he asked.

"A proper one!" Eridan barked without hesitation, "And certainly a better one than you or any of the other losers on this ship! I spent it here with Dualscar learning how to subjugate those inferior to me. How to steal and fight and how to get what I want! How to take my proper place as a ruler of our kind!"

"Clearly a youth well spent. Given the vast deference for you among your obedient and subservient crew, Prince Fishface," Sollux quipped.

"Quit calling me that! And what would you know about how my own crew feels about me?" Eridan ordered with a crooked smirk, "Being out and about and part of our daily activities so much I'm sure you know each and every member!"

The pitiful attempt at a sarcastic insult was rather amusing, so Sollux let it slide.

"I do hear things on the ship, I am sort of everywhere, and… You know. Psychic, just a little, so," he hummed teasingly.

Much to his delight, Eridan cracked once more, and in a satisfyingly dramatic fashion.

"Wait what? What does the crew say about me? What have you heard?" he commanded.

"You've got the cape, why don't you go exert some of that omnipotent power, dignity, and respect that goes with it and get them to tell you?" teased Sollux again, relishing the screech of ire and the flare of fins out of the irate seadweller.

"You know what? I don't even have to play this game with you! And I'm not going to for a second longer!" Eridan announced, promptly dropping to the ground and sitting cross-legged with his arms petulantly folded over his chest and his eyes leveled dead even with the Psionic's, "I'm going to sit here, and wait until you decide to remember your place and give me back my scarf."

The short, brusque burst of laughter out of Sollux's throat was mirthless and dry.

"You can't be serious," he scoffed.

"Serious as anything! You cannot possibly hope to win in a battle of wits, strength, or endurance against a seadweller and your superior!"

"Suit yourself, but you're in for a long wait," Sollux chided with a shrug.

"Bring it on," Eridan challenged gleefully.

True to his word, Eridan stayed put, staring with a smug, haughty expression on his naively determined face. He said naught a word, moved nary an inch, and for a moment, Sollux almost considered returning the pilfered scarf. On principle, he refrained, but it still proved an entertaining spectacle to watch the stubborn seadweller wait. As the hours wore on his eyelids drooped behind his thick-rimmed spectacles. His arms moved to his sides to support his sagging frame. His legs unfolded and he scooted his back against the nearest mainframe tower to prop himself up and continue his stare down. Yet even the irascible highblood eventually had to succumb to his sopor. Sollux watched as his heavy yellow eyes slid shut one last time and his body slumped peacefully to the cold metal floor, cape wrapped protectively around him and drawn up close under his chin.

For a moment, Sollux considered waking him in the rudest way possible. He could only envision his delightfully flustered and aggravated reactions, the cursing and the spitting and hissing, but he knew if he only waited there would be a far sweeter revenge on the impertinent young upstart that dared invade his sanctum and presume to treat him like a slave. The daytime sleep cycle hours on the ship ticked away as Sollux busied himself with his various odds and ends of programming he was allowed and marched steadily into the waking hours of what would have been dusk on their home planet. Eridan slept obliviously, and Sollux continued his eager vigil as he attended to the starting programs and charted the course of travel according to Dualscar's desires for that night cycle. Finally, when the prince of the ship had been missing for several hours, the PA system sprang to life and every speaker through every nook and cranny of Neptune's Gambit quaked with Dualscar's booming voice.

"ERIDAN! ERIDAN AMPORA REPORT TO THE BRIDGE IMMEDIATELY!"

Eridan sat bolt upright with a strangled cry of fear and confusion, instantly awake. His bleary eyes searched the darkness of the engine room frantically, as if he had forgotten where he had slept, and finally fell on the grinning face of his newfound nemesis.

"Good evening, sleepyhead," Sollux lisped derisively, "Time to get a move on, sounds like."

Eridan's jaw fell open, aghast, but before he could even conjure a coherent retort his mentor's voice blared once more.

"ERIDAN GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

Like someone had applied hot coals to his flesh, Eridan was on his feet, smoothing back his hair, and adjusting his sleep-rumpled cape in a panic. Once satisfied, he turned his scathing glare, fangs bared and seething, on the Troll that had complacently allowed his doomed fate.

"Th-This isn't over, pissblood! I'll be back!" he spluttered, pointing a trembling accusatory finger at him.

Sollux grinned.

"I'll look very much forward to it."

Eridan could do nothing more but huff through his nostrils, turn, and flee. For the second time, the two parted ways with the seadweller scrambling for dear life out of the engine room and leaving a self-satisfied pilot in his wake. Though as the highblood left and he listened to his panicked footfalls grow softer and softer, Sollux was forced to admit to himself that he had been altogether hilarious to toy with, and what he had said their first meeting was proving to be undeniably true. Tormenting Eridan Ampora was indeed the most fun he'd had in ages.


	5. Best Two Out of Three

**Author's Note: **Criminy sorry this took so long AGAIN. Argh but at least I seem to be updating SOMEWHAT REGULARLY? Yeahnonotrlysorry. Anyway! There are PESTERLOGS for the first time in this chapter! OOhhhhhh, and while obviously I cannot format them properly here, hopefully you can still read it and they are entertaining and not too boring. Eridan and Sollux get a little closer in this chapter through what else, geekery, because they are both huge geeks and I love it. ENJOY!

**Chapter 4**

**Best Two Out of Three**

After the relentless tongue lashing from Dualscar, which Eridan endured as he usually did with a petulant pout on his face, his head bowed, and his cape wrapped tight around him, the heir to Neptune's Gambit returned to his respiteblock for a much-needed rest. He curled up in his recouperacoon, had a good long proper scowl, and promptly decided Sollux Captor was the most flamingly obnoxious prick he'd ever had the misfortune to cross paths with. At least the rest of the crew pretended to pay their respect to him. At least they whispered behind his back and scurried away like startled, cackling insects the moment he caught them. Never before had anyone dared directly insult him under pain of death or worse by Dualscar.

It was infuriating. It was impertinent and disgustingly smug. It was flagrantly audacious and it lingered malignantly at the corners of his mind like a new contagion of thought. No one had dared defy him just for being him. Though thinking about it harder, Eridan was not entirely certain he had ever even had the opportunity to prove his mettle in that regard. Dualscar had always come to his aide. Dualscar had doled out the punishments and handed down sentences for insubordination while he stood to the side and nodded viciously in approval. It was Dualscar the crew feared. Not him. And thus the perfect devious scheme unfolded in front of his very eyes. Subjugate the insolent Psionic on his own terms, his own grounds, and win respect from his ever disappointed master and all of the crew as well.

Dualscar prized cruelty and ruthlessness above all else. Eridan's crafty cunning and scheming had always failed miserably to impress him, or even give him the slightest shred of faith that one day he could become a proper Captain of Neptune's Gambit. His repeated failures had also attached the nasty reputation of being somewhat of a frail, comedic evil caricature of himself to his presence on board. If he could prove he had just as much power, just as much dominion as Dualscar, more so to tame the Helmsman even he did not have full control over, nearly every aspect of his constantly miserable existence would vanish and he could finally take his place as the true heir apparent of Dualscar's legacy. And, not to mention, he would have his beloved scarf back. It was his greatest scheme to date, and that sleep cycle, Eridan fell into a comfortable slumber with a crooked grin on his lips.

The Prince of Neptune's Gambit waited several days before he enacted his master plan, allowing Dualscar to forget he now knew about their Helmsman, to allow Sollux to return to his normal routine of solitude and drudgery, and to allow himself to plan just exactly how to bend the lowblood to his will. Then, he decided it was time. He was ready. The first time he waltzed in woefully underprepared with his pulse rifle once again at his side, only to have an incorporeal hand grab him by the cape and drag him backwards the rest of the way out of the engine room, gagging and clawing at his garment laughably through a string of curses, before he even got to Sollux's control hub. It left a rather nasty bruise around his throat as well, which he lamely tried to pass off to Dualscar as a battle wound from picking a fight with a blueblood. The captain remained doubtful, but luckily ignored the injury in favor of far more pressing matters.

The second time, after more careful planning, Eridan snuck in during the middle of the sleep cycle. He crept stealthily through the passageways, unarmed that time, and managed to make it all the way to the mass of bioelectric tendrils and yellow blooded slave before Sollux leveled those red and blue eyes on him, grinned, and swept his feet out from underneath him. He dangled him by his ankles in the air, just for sport, resulting in not only shattered dignity, but also a pair of equally shattered and tragically necessary glasses which forced an inconvenient detour for Dualscar to get them repaired and several active cycles of silent disdain.

Yet Eridan refused to be deterred.

His third foray into the den of the beast was rewarded with a tilt of the Helmsman's head and a goading call of, "_Back for more Prince Fishface_?" Eridan stood his ground even against the repeated nickname that was beginning to grate on his last nerve, and managed to get a few slights and slanders in before he was once again summarily ejected from the engine room in a halo of blinding blue and red light, the double steel doors slammed shut an inch away from his face. He slunk back to his respiteblock, defeated once more, and hurled his aching body into his chair in front of his computer.

Clearly, he would be eternally bested by Sollux in terms of physical combat. There was no way he would ever be able to contend with telekinesis and psychic ability that made stealth and sneakiness impossible as well. It was time for a new approach. However, seeing as he had only met his first Psionic but a few active cycles prior, Eridan found himself for the first time in his life, at a loss. Arming himself with new information would have to be his next recourse, and with renewed determination the seadweller logged onto his computer and began an exhaustive search for anything that might aide him in his quest to domesticate the Psionic.

The active cycle on the ship slowly passed into the sleep cycle. The engines hummed a little softer, the lights dimmed, and the sound of airlocks hissing shut sounded the harmony of a weary crew finally crawling into their recouperacoons, having survived one more day under Dualscar's regime. Eridan's fingers flew on across the keyboard, his determined face illuminated in sharp, wicked shadows as the flickering light of his computer screen became the only light in his respiteblock. Images of yellowbloods whizzed past his bespectacled eyes along with gruesome charts of dissected bifurcated brains, strands of electric nerves spread out over vivisection tables from bodies just off screen, and photos of soulless blue and red eyes staring blankly into the camera; broken.

He was just beginning a search for all the old methods highbloods had used to control Psionic slaves in the past, most of which had either left them dead or only useful for menial labor utilizing their telekinesis, he discovered, when his computer alerted him to a message on Trollian. Eridan stopped cold, his hands still poised above the keys and his jaw slack. Never before in all his years aboard Neptune's Gambit had anyone, other than the occasional summon from Dualscar, sent him a message over the computer system. And Dualscar would have long been asleep by then. Cautiously, he brought up the message, and scowled at the unfamiliar Trolltag in an irritatingly familiar shade of yellow.

**twinArmageddons [TA]**** began trolling ****caligulasAquarium [CA]**

**TA: greetiing2 priince fii2hface. up late 2hoppiing for a paiir of blue 2triiped pantiie2 two go wiith the re2t of your flamiing a22hole regaliia?**

Eridan nearly fell out of his chair.

**CA: wwhat the fuck**

**CA: slavve helmsman wwhatever is that you**

**CA: if this is you its reely not fuckin funny**

Eridan waited only a moment, his fins quivering in alarm, ringed fingers poised at the ready, before he got a response.

**TA: of cour2e iit2 me diip2hiit. who el2e call2 you prince fii2hface? **

**TA: al2o ii keep fuckiing telliing you ii have a name.**

Eridan wrinkled his nose at the yellow text on his screen, but glanced at the gruesome images he still had open, as if Sollux could see them too, and swiftly closed them all before continuing the conversation.

**CA: right**

**CA: sol**

**TA: 2ollux. **

**TA: dont call me 2ol iit 2ound2 liike 2ome 2ort of vapiid fuckiing pet name from a 2hiitty quadrant fiiller novel.**

**CA: ill call you wwhatevver i damn wwell please seein as im not only second in command but a highblood and your superior**

**CA: not to mention youre really not in any position to negotiate**

**CA: in fact youvve got just the one position**

**CA: literally**

**TA: oh good one fii2hface. iim laughiing 2o hard down here you dont even know. there are miirthful tear2 2treamiing down my cheek2 a2 we 2peak.**

**TA: pardon me a moment as ii wallow liike the moronic fiilth ii am iin the ethereal glow of your iincomprehensiible wiit and perfectiion.**

**CA: cod just stop already**

**CA: I get it**

He could almost sense the smirk and hear the sarcasm seeping through his monitor and sneered as he gathered the wits to respond again.

**CA: howw the hell are you evven trollin me anyhoww**

**TA: wow are you really that 2tupiid?**

**TA: ii pretty much am the 2hiip2 computer and the network, you thiink ii wouldnt be able two acce22 trolliian?**

It was a pretty stupid notion, Eridan realized with chagrin. Of course he would have access to something as simple and banal as Trollian. Even if he had been denied access he was certain it was mere wiggler's play to hack.

**CA: fair enough**

**CA: but wwhy bother noww**

**CA: you could havve hassled me anytime you wwanted before**

**CA: wwhy start this sleep cycle of all sleep cycles**

**CA: unless maybe im on to somethin**

**CA: close to figurin out howw to control you to wwhat makes you tick**

**CA: close to findin a wway to properly subjugate you like evven dualscar couldnt**

**CA: a way to breakin you mind body an soul an leavvin you a wwillin loyal mindservvant of the supreme pirate that evver sailed the stardust breezes of the univverse**

**TA: you wii2h.**

**CA: just wwatch me**

**CA: ill have you begging for mercy so fast evven your mutant brain wwont see it coming**

**TA: god ok ju2t 2hut up for two damn 2econd2 and iill explaiin.**

**TA: and iill even be 2ure two u2e 2mall word2 2o you can under2tand.**

**TA: you can praii2e me for my benevolence later.**

**TA: ba2iically, ii diidnt have a rea2on two troll you before.**

**TA: but now, learn ii exii2t one actiive cycle and the next ii cant keep your 2liimy fliipper2 out of my bu2iine22.**

**TA: 2o iin 2hort**

**TA: iim trolliing you becau2e iim hopiing, more than likely iin vaiin, that there ii2 a logiical and 2en2iible rea2on you have been contiinually making a 2pectacular a22 of your2elf comiing down two my engiine room.**

**TA: a2iide from my deliightfully whiim2iical and magnetic per2onaliity of cour2e.**

**TA: that wa2 2arca2m by the way. ii know you have trouble wiith iit.**

The smirk of amusement on Eridan's lips was entirely involuntary as he quickly typed back. He had presumed Sollux of all people would have been able to deduce his purpose in continually haranguing him.

**CA: thats all you wwanted wwas it**

He typed smugly, computer light glinting off his glasses.

**CA: wwell its actually pretty simple**

**CA: because a proper captain and a master has to learn about his enemies in order to keep the control he needs**

**CA: evvery inferior beins got some wweakness to exploit a crack in their armor a fatal flaww or twwo**

**TA: ah ii 2ee. doiing a liitle re2earch on how two turn me iintwo a niice obediient liitle pet are we?**

**CA: you could say that**

**TA: 2o that would explaiin the p2iioniic gore fetii2h piic2 you had up earliier.**

**TA: iim flattered you want two look at my iin2iide2 that badly but really.**

The smugness drained instantly off his face, replaced with a hot violet flush from his cheeks to the tips of his fins, teeth gnashing as he hammered out his reply on the computer.

**CA: FUCK YOU SOL**

**CA: that was fuckin research an nothin more you got it**

**CA: I dont got some wwierd fuckin pail fetish or wwhatevver**

**CA: you gotta know thy enemy if youre gonna crush them utterly and all that**

**TA: 2ound2 liike you got 2ome lofty plan2 for uniiver2al domiinatiion.**

**CA: damn right i do**

**CA: id tell you but it wwould probably blow your feeble little mind**

**CA: and quit sticking your hideous lowwblood snout around in my computer**

**CA: arent you banned from doing this kind of shit or somethin**

A sense of violation crept up Eridan's spine. He felt compelled to open his folders and delete all of his maps and plans before prying eyes could reveal the flawed designs of his failures, but halted himself before he did something he knew he would regret.

**TA: oh relax ii cant do anythiing major.**

**TA: fuck two far and the 2ecurity 2y2tem friie2 my braiin.**

**TA: and iid rather liike two keep iit for the moment thank2.**

**TA: al2o iim really not iintere2ted iin fiindiing out what el2e you have 2ta2hed away on here.**

**TA: unle22 youve got 2ome good game2 ii dont on my hub.**

The computer screen flickered a moment as Sollux hacked a little deeper and took control, directories automatically opening and scrolling through files and codices at blinding speed. It took a moment for Eridan to even realize what was going on, but once he did he flailed uselessly at his computer until he finally had the sense to return to Trollian.

**CA: FUCK FUCK KNOCK IT OFF**

**CA: rude**

**CA: I dont havve any goddamn games ok**

**CA: Dualscar nevver let me havve any because theyre a brainless wwaste of time for lowwblood wwigglers wwho lack the mental capacity to be entertained by anythin other than some bright colors and flashing lights**

Eridan seethed through his clenched teeth, chest heaving,

**TA: …**

**TA: youre kiiddiing me riight.**

**TA: what kiind of kiid doe2nt get two play game2?**

**CA: one bound for greatness the likes of you could nevver understand thats wwho**

**TA: 2o let me get thii2 2traiight.**

**TA: you were a kiid that never got two play computer game2. The thought of a kiid playiing wiith a cape ii2 2omehow offen2iive two you.**

**TA: what the hell diid you even do when you were liittle?**

It shouldn't have, Eridan sneered, but the question rankled him, made his skin crawl and something primal in the back of his mind scream out.

**CA: i dont havve to tell you shit**

Sollux didn't respond for some time, leaving Eridan roiling in that old nebulous dread of something unknown misplaced, of something out of order with the universe, that vague feeling that plagued him in the middle of the sleep cycle when the sopor slime was not enough to chase away the nightmares and he lay awake in the silence.

**TA: ii thought youd be all eager two tell me how much better your liife2 been than miine.**

The obnoxious yellow text was for once, a stark relief. Eridan straightened himself up regally and lifted his nose in the air as he replied.

**CA: it wwas**

**CA: i learned howw to fight**

**CA: i learned all about the hemospectrum and wwhat makes each and evvery blood color pathetic**

**CA: i learned howw to kill wwith my bare hands and howw to shoot**

**CA: im a better shot than dualscar already**

**CA: i learned howw to be ruthless and bloodthirsty and merciless**

**CA: ivve spent my wwhole fuckin life preparin for the wwar you pathetic snivvelin peons deservve**

**CA: and thats all you need to knoww**

A wicked grin spread across his lips, feeling much more confident and calm after the sudden invasion into his personal space.

**TA: that2 all ii really want two know quiite frankly.**

**CA: wwell if youre a good slavve and cooperate i might be able to find it in my expandin an collapsin bladder based aquatic vvascular system to showw you a little mercy**

**TA: a2 much a2 ii would love two be your per2onal liittle lap bark bea2t.**

**TA: iit all 2tiill 2ounds pretty fucked up to me.**

**TA: howd you even end up here? what happened two your lu2u2?**

Eridan pursed his lips. He remembered very little of the night Dualscar had come to his hive and spirited him away. All he knew was what the pirate captain had told him later in a terse and irate recount once he had thought to ask. He had been spared a life growing up with an abusive and neglectful custodian and was much better off in his care. That was all he needed to know.

**CA: dualscar savved my life**

**CA: i wwouldnt have lasted half this long with that dunderheaded savvage creature takin care a me**

**CA: so if youre about to suggest i wwould havve been better off you can cram it right back down your noise tube and forget it**

**TA: ii wa2nt iimplyiing anythiing.**

**TA: ii wa2 ju2t curiiou2.**

**TA: iim more dii2gu2ted by your shockiing lack of gaming materiial anyway.**

**TA: now that ii2 a true criime agaiin2t trolldom.**

**TA: let me ju2t-**

As Eridan watched, an installation dialogue popped up on his screen, accepted itself, and began downloading files into some unknown directory. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, flailing at his computer again to stop the process until he realized it was completely futile.

**CA: wwhoa wwhoa wwhat the fuck**

**CA: wwhat are you infectin my computer wwith sol**

**CA: sol quit it seriously**

**CA: if you fuck anythin up I swwear im comin dowwn and swwitchin your hub on and off until you fix it**

**TA: dont freak out theyre ju2t game2.**

**TA: here youll liike thii2 one iit2 a miiliitary 2trategy type game.**

**TA: perfect for practicing wiipiing out all u2 mii2erable lowblood2.**

**CA: wwhat really**

Before his very eyes the download and installation completed itself and the game opened to a loading screen of battleships not unlike Neptune's Gambit locked in fiery celestial combat. Intrigued, he leaned forward and pushed his glasses up further on the bridge of his nose. Beside the game window, the Trollian window continued to flash eagerly as Sollux explained.

**TA: 2ure. ii mean iif thiinkiing thatll get you two try iit wiithout a fu22.**

**TA: you ju2t buiild your army wiith the diiferent shiip2 and 2uch. make a ba2e take over planet2 2triive for domiinatiion of piitiiful galaxiie2.**

**TA: you know.**

**TA: a little petrii dii2h of conque2t ju2t for you.**

**TA: you know you want two play.**

The seadweller hated to admit it, but Sollux was right. The game currently playing out its automated fiery scenes of battle and destruction on the selection screen enticed him with noble battleships, war, and promises of digital glory to replace the actual thing that had been perpetually denied him. His yellow eyes hooded, shifted from side to side suspiciously, as if someone might be spying on such an illicit activity, and once satisfied grinned as he acquiesced to the challenge.

**CA: hah**

**CA: wwell in that case get ready to taste the bitter tang of humiliation**

**CA: ivve been trainin my wwhole life exactly for this**

**TA: oh youre on fii2hface.**

A click of the start button and a brief perusal of the rules that appeared when the game detected a new machine and a new installation later and Eridan was plunged headfirst into a world he never knew existed. Not only in the fact that he was ceremoniously deposited on a fictional alien landscape, but also in the fact that he truly had never before played any kind of game. The lushness and detail of the graphics, the military pacing of each and every unit on his screen has he created them, commanded them, and a growing sense of very genuine purpose as he marched them around this new world and explored seized him into their grandeur and consumed him completely. Even though he had personally visited countless worlds and witnessed hundreds of different landscapes and cities and environments, there was still something to be said about the boundless world of the imagination. Even if only briefly, Eridan remembered the maps, the books, and the inexplicable magic of the treasure hunting tales of old he had lost himself in as a very young boy with his Lusus in his treasure ship hive.

So engrossed was he in the creation of his perfect army, of each individual little soldier and the progressively gargantuan and imposing ships and vehicles he could construct, he lost all sense of time and danger. Before he even had a chance to see some of the final incarnations of his army's platoons there came a wave of enemy ships and troops into his blossoming little base. Sollux's swiftly assembled, deadly force, razed everything in sight as Eridan watched, slack jawed, while his own army gave a noble effort to defend itself. The massacre was over swiftly, and the stats screen popped up immediately after his screen went dark proclaiming twinArmageddons the victor and listing his impressive accomplishments. His own statistics paled in comparison, and after reading them briefly Eridan pulled Trollian back up in a huff. A message from his opponent was already waiting.

**TA: two ea2y.**

**TA: and here ii wa2 all ready two cower beneath the mighty 2eadweller and hii2 otherworldly prowe22 and miiliitary traiiniing.**

**CA: shovve it**

**CA: i havvent played this before and you havve**

**CA: i wwas merely gettin accustomed to the controls and wwhere all the stuff is and wwhat they all do**

**CA: next time ill crush you**

**CA: best twwo out of three**

**CA: unless youre scared i might actually beat you**

**TA: iim game. take a breather and let2 go.**

Eridan cracked his knuckles and his neck in preparation. He shifted his weight in his chair and breathed in deeply, went through his units again, and accepted the game invitation from Sollux up on his screen. The second game went much the same as the first, only now Eridan at least had a few kills on his statistics instead of a total wash. Sollux gloated, as he expected, and best two out of three became best three out of five. Three out of five became four out of seven, then five out of eight, and before long the two young Trolls had passed nearly the entire sleep cycle locked in deadly make believe warfare. Eridan found himself getting better progressively with each match. Eventually he cold fend off certain attacks and hold his ground long enough to not feel like a complete failure, but no matter what he did, no matter what units he created in any combination, Sollux seemed to have a flawless counter attack.

They quibbled back and forth over Trollian as they played, Sollux taunting Eridan for his ineptitude, Eridan lobbing scathing criticisms of the game's inability to account for all the real life nuances of battle he had been trained for. Eridan never did win a match as they passed the hours swiftly obliterating pixels on their respective screens, but doggedly played on even as his eyes grew weary and his fingers slow and sluggish on the keyboard. It was Sollux who finally denied the battle request and sent a final message on the chat log.

**TA: hey**

**TA: a2 much a2 iim enjoyiing your per2ii2tent 2pectacular lo2iing 2treak.**

**TA: ii dont need two 2leep anymore but you do.**

**TA: and iim about to fiire up the engiine2 for the actiive cycle.**

**TA: let2 call iit quiit2.**

It took a very sleepy and slightly delirious Eridan a woozy split second to furiously reply, burning eyes narrowed.

**CA: no wway**

**CA: you just want to quit because you knoww im about to wwin**

**CA: im close to somethin i knoww it**

**CA: I can smell the fear evven through your messages**

**CA: and i knoww the smell of fear**

**CA: i knoww it**

**CA: theres blood in the wwater and sooner or later the sharks alwways come**

**TA: a2 cute a2 your 2leep depriived megalomaniiacal paranoiia ii2.**

**TA: iim calliing iit.**

**TA: ii wont be able two play once iim piilotiing the 2hiip anyway.**

**TA: 2o 2hoo. off wiith you.**

The game closed of its own accord as Sollux disconnected it, leaving only their lengthy conversation in the Trollian window still standing. Eridan rubbed his eyes, huffed and finally dragged his weary ringed fingers back to the keyboard to bid his rival farewell.

**CA: fine**

**CA: but next time i wwont let you off so easy**

**TA: iim 2ure you wont.**

**TA: 2ee you around fii2hface.**

**twinArmageddons [TA]**** ceased trolling ****caligulasAquarium [CA]**

Eridan stared at his blank computer screen for a while, blinking, and processed everything that had happened. Never before had he chatted with someone online, while playing a simple game and enjoying himself, though certainly he had heard the other crew members talking about such things. Every day of his life had been devoted to honing his physical combat skills, to sharpening his mind with strategy, armada positions, weapon training, and cultivating a seething hatred for all other blood castes but his own and the only one above his. Now, he knew what all the peons beneath him did for fun. It was even better, he decided, because getting close to the enemy meant also learning more about the enemy, and learning more about the enemy meant learning how to break them. He might just find a way to gain control over Sollux yet.

It was with that rationale and imagined victory that the prince of Neptune's Gambit turned off his computer, peeled off his clothes, and crawled into his recouperacoon wearily. He had not just enjoyed himself with no higher purpose, it was research, it was a stealthy move on the game board of his brewing rivalry with the stubborn Helmsman, and soon, he would be cowering at his feet just like the rest of his future minions. Pleased with himself, Eridan closed his eyes, and settled into the soothing sopor slime for a distinctly merited rest. Moments later, the lights in his room flickered on, the engines roared to life deep in the belly of the ship, and his door hissed open as Dualscar stuck his head in to snarl viciously at him.

"Eridan! Get up, get ready, and meet me down in the gym in no more than ten minutes. That's an order!"

Eridan groaned, rolled over, and mentally cursed his adversary as he hauled his body out of the slime and trudged to get ready, casting a filthy glance at his darkened computer screen as he passed.


	6. Royal Pains

**Author's Note: **WOW yeah it feels like forever and a day since I uploaded a new chapter of this. LIFE kinda got in the way of writing I got laid off, had to job hunt, went back and forth from Nor Cal to So Cal interviewing, landed a new job, had to deal with all the paperwork, then there was Anime Expo and Fourth of July and SHIT I HAVE BEEN BUSY XT But here you go! A brand spankin' new chapter with a lot of Eridan and a lot of Dualscar! I suppose uh... a MILD VERY MILD trigger warning on this one? A tad of an abusive sort of situation pops up but it's not much. Just wanted to throw that warning out there JUST IN CASE! Anyway! ENJOY FOLKS! And as always reblogs, comments, likes EVERYTHING makes me wither into tears of joy so if you enjoy let me know!

**Chapter 5**

**Royal Pains**

It took Eridan significantly longer than the allotted ten minutes to clean himself up and manage to look only slightly less like he had been repeatedly run over by a freight carrier ship, change into his training gear, and drag his aching, exhausted body down to the gym. Dualscar was already waiting in the vast, white tiled room complete with racks upon racks of weapons, weights, and even a deep pool encompassing half the available area. The younger seadweller arrived clad in skintight black pants with his symbol emblazoned over the hip, a thin black tank top, boots, and gloves. His master loomed with a pair of deadly silver pikes in his hands and an expectant smirk on his scarred face. He hurled one with naught a word at his apprentice as he entered, which Eridan caught deftly without even needing to look. He twirled it with precision into the crook of his arm with a sigh, standing expectantly before his teacher. The fins at his elbows flared, he took a defensive stance, and braced himself for the usual wordless assault that always begun their private sparring sessions.

Dualscar's battle cry rang through the gym. Steel sang as their pikes clashed and Eridan winced as he slid several feet back along the tile floor. He disengaged expertly and darted to the side, but as usual Dualscar was already poised to deflect his blow. A pathetically few strikes later Eridan was already spread eagle on the ground, groaning as Dualscar pressed the tip of his weapon against his throat. The fleeting smile of victory faded to a scowl of disappointment and he pulled away, slapping his defeated ward's thigh roughly with the flat of his blade.

"Too slow _already_, boy. Get up," the captain grunted.

Eridan closed his eyes, body and mind very much elsewhere and decidedly not in the mood to be beaten senseless as he usually was.

"Dualscar, do we really gotta go through this same song and dance right n-"

"Did I fuckin' stutter? I said, GET UP!"

The second command was accompanied by a nasty boot to his side, so Eridan finally obeyed. He peeled himself off the floor as slowly and deliberately as he could get away with and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. The duo locked eyes for a scathing moment in a silent skirmish from which both knew whom would emerge the victor.

"If you even want to entertain the thought of handlin' my crosshairs today, or any other day for that matter, then shape up and sail straight. You hear me?" sneered Dualscar when the other still refused to rise.

As per usual, Eridan winced as he went straight for what he knew would burn the worst. He despised the fact his master always used the precious gun as leverage to force him into combat training he really didn't want or need, but it was the one thing he looked forward to. Ahab's Crosshairs was the perfect weapon and Eridan loved everything about it. He adored he way its ocean blue curves slid perfectly in place with his body, the way he could feel the power build through the hot metal and that he could control it, manipulate its might, use just enough to incapacitate or unleash its full fury to obliterate. The feeling of holding his breath as he aimed, then exhaling the tension and power in his body to become one with his weapon for but a fraction of a second as it hurtled their combined might into their foes thundered through every nerve every minute of every day. Shooting he had truly mastered. Dualscar himself had admitted as much, even cracked a smile behind an iron fist as he watched him at the range. But in his finesse and great power lay his greatest weakness; he couldn't resist it.

"Fine…" Eridan grunted petulantly and hauled himself to his feet.

Shedding his tank to the floor, Eridan's sleek aquatic body rippled in preparation. Crouched low, eyes narrowed, he initiated the second sparring match with bitter fury. Yet even resentment and pained desire for just one measly hour at the shooting range could not compensate for his exhaustion. The long weapons whipped and whistled frantically through the air, punctuating the crack of the wood and the cacophony of metal against metal. The unrelenting blows battered the young seadweller back to the edge of the pool where Dualscar planted a foot with relish into his chest and sent him careening into the water. Eridan just let himself sink, fins flattened, gills opening up and breathing an exasperated breath of filtered air that he sighed in a stream of bubbles from his lips to the surface. Luckily, as they broke the mirrored water's sheen they obscured the dark flickering shadow of Dualscar and the glower he wore.

After a few moments he decided it would be prudent to dredge himself out of the water, lest he incite even harsher treatment. He swam upward, flopped indelicately over the pool's edge, and rolled onto his back in a sopping pile.

"What the hell is wrong with you tonight? You're even worse than usual. And you look like you've not gotten a lick of sleep for an entire perigee," his elder scolded, "What in the glubbin' blue blazes of the nine galactic realms could you be-"

The pirate's eyes widened and his teeth ground on edge as he reminded himself what Eridan was all too prone to doing.

"Wait, you're not on about one of your idiot schemes again are you? Because I swear if you are I-"

"NO! No no no!" Eridan interjected, vaulting upright and waving his hands "No that's not it at all! I was up the whole sleep cycle but not for that! Actually I was-! Well I-!"

The truth nearly tumbled from his lips. The entire story of how he had returned time and time again to the engine room after being explicitly instructed not to, making contact with the Helmsman, and eventually winding up playing the game with him butted insistently against his brain, but he reigned it in and concocted his lie on the spot.

"I was up doin' research!" he concluded with a winning smile.

Dualscar did not look won over.

"Research… What kinda research? That sounds suspiciously like treasure huntin' in head-in-the-toxic nebula gas loser speak to me," he grunted.

"It's not! I swear it's not! I was studyin'… Battle formations! You know, platoons and Armada strategy and all that! Figured it was high time I did somethin' else other than send us all over the cosmos lookin' for shit that don't even work," Eridan continued, folding his arms over his chest and lifting his nose haughtily.

The growing mistrust tinged in simmering anger leveled at him went completely unnoticed.

"Is that so?" Dualscar said slowly, tilting his head, "Then I guess if I scan your computer logs I'll see everything you were readin', right? See if it's legit?"

Eridan's heart dropped into the pit of his gut.

"Wait no! You don't gotta do all that! It won't be in my search history or nothin' because it… Uh well-! Well it was more of a game really!" Eridan proclaimed, but wisely amended his statement once he saw the look on Dualscar's face, "No not a game! Of course not a game. Games are fuckin' lame! It was a simulator! A battle simulator! A pretty sophisticated one!"

Still not quite certain what exactly had transpired or what his heir was trying to explain, Dualscar's eyes rolled back and his burly shoulders heaved with a sigh.

"A battle simulator? Where'd you ever get something like that?" he groaned.

"Sol gave it to me," Eridan replied without thinking.

He immediately realized his egregious error and went numb with terror.

"Shit. I mean-!"

"Sol…? You mean… Sollux? My pissblooded shitstain of a Helmsman? Eridan I thought I forbade you from ever botherin' with that snide little vermin again!" Dualscar hissed, cutting his eyes sharply at Eridan.

"Yes! Yes you sure did!" Eridan agreed with a nervous chuckle, "And uh-! While I totally agree with the Sol is an asshole part, he was the one buggin' me! I wouldn't want nothin' more to do with that freakish nightmare of a battery but he just wouldn't let it slide!"

"Then how and why did you get a BATTLE SIMULATOR out of him if he was the one attempting and so very easily succeeding at gettin' your can eatin' bleatbeast?" implored Dualscar as he rubbed at his temples.

Eridan pursed his lips, glanced around the training room a moment and looked up hopefully.

"I uh… Beat it out of him?" he offered with a toothy smile.

The enraged roar of his name and the mirror across the gym shattering as Dualscar hurled his pike clear across the room sent Eridan reeling.

"No no wait! Listen!" he pleaded, "I knew he was good at programmin' and all that and probably had the latest and greatest stuff! Prick could probably make diamonds outta solitaire! I was looking for somethin' different! Somethin' you would be proud of! Really you ought to be thankin' m-"

"Stop RIGHT now, boy! Take this farce and shove it right back up the waste chute it came out of!" Dualscar bellowed.

Eridan stopped mid-word, his jaw hanging open and arms dropping to his sides like lead.

"That is IT, Eridan! I have HAD it up to my glubbin' gills with you! All I have EVER asked is for you to do what I say! To learn how to fight, to become strong, and ruthless! To thirst for blood and power and to become the Captain this vessel deserves! I have given you EVERY tool at our disposal. My SHIP. My CREW. And what do you do with it all? You squander it on fantasies and dreams! And now you waste it playin' tiddlywinks with some jacked up smartass mustard blood I ought to have cut the tongue out of ages ago?"

"That is categorically untrue! I was doin' nothin' but treatin' him like brine suckin' flotsam and jetsam he is! And I've done everythin' you ever asked of me! I just did it in my own way! Just because it's different don't mean it's wrong!" Eridan protested.

"No, 'course not!" Dualscar retaliated condescendingly, "That's not what makes it wrong at all! What makes it _wrong_ is your string of miserable failures longer than the trail of bodies they leave! What makes it wrong is the accomplishment of NOTHING and the destruction of MUCH! What makes it WRONG is this continued charade of piracy and the continued dragging of my name through the muck and shit of the universe!"

Eridan, for once, was left with nothing to say but, "Well who really cares about a few spineless, wet behind the ears lowbloods anyway? We can just as easily replace them."

"That's not the fuckin' POINT, Eridan! The point is you don't listen and you turn everythin' you touch to shit! I am not some kind of grubsitter and I ain't gonna let you waste my time another second. SOMEONE has to be the Captain of this fuckin' ship!"

With that, Dualscar turned and stormed toward the airlock.

"You will stay down here, and you will practice with every fuckin' weapon as I have ordered until you can fuckin' get it right!" he declared sharply.

The edict slammed Eridan hard in the chest, robbing him of breath and coherent thought.

"W… Wait… You can't be…" he spluttered, trotting after his guardian, "You can't be serious!"

"DEAD serious. You will stay in here until your goddamn fingers bleed and you can't even fuckin' breathe until you have a weapon in hand or until they're sweepin' out your bone dust, whichever comes first! And that is FINAL!" Dualscar snapped back.

He made it to the doorway before Eridan threw himself against him, latching onto his arm in desperation.

"No wait! You can't do this! This is fuckin' stupid! Don't fuckin' leave me down here like a squeakbeast in a trap! Dualscar! LISTEN to yourself! Do you even hear what ridiculous comedic shit you're spewin' outta your-"

Eridan never finished. Dualscar whipped around and unceremoniously flung him to the ground. He landed on his side and skidded back, looking up and reaching out just in time to helplessly watch the door to hiss and slam shut, airlock lights turning to red. Trapped. Left behind in the stark cold silence of the aftermath of the Orphaner's rage.

He scrambled to his feet and leapt upon the door, pounding his fists into it and screaming for his mentor. But Dualscar was already long out of earshot and halfway back to his room to change and take his usual spot on the bridge. Eridan screeched and cursed and accosted the sealed airlock door until he was grimly certain the punishment levied upon him was concrete. Then, he turned his fury on anything and everything he could. He upturned and demolished every stack of weapons, every piece of equipment, and hurled the debris viciously into the pool, screaming until his throat wrenched shut and he had exhausted himself.

Chest heaving, eyes burning with tears he refused to let fall, Eridan finally sank to his haunches beside the pool. He tangled his hands in his purple-streaked hair and raked his claws across his scalp as he slid his legs out from underneath him and into the water. The wreckage of his meltdown settled on the bottom. He forced his lungs to stop their rasping as he watched with resentful gratification. Spared an entire active cycle of pointlessly jabbing at motionless dummies with weapons he detested, Eridan stared down at his garbled reflection in the churning pool with his fins tamped firmly down against his head and fumed.

He fumed for what seemed like an eternity. He sat there until the waters stilled around his calves and the mirrored sheen reflected the harsh lighting overhead into his eyes. His mind went blank. His body went numb. His entire being faded into a spiteful ember that crackled and spat and thought next time, next time for sure he would make his esteemed pirate captain proud. Next time he would hear the words, "You are worthy."

The hours ticked by and Dualscar never returned. Eridan lay on his back with his feet still dangled in the pool and his arms splayed out on either side of him. Fantasies of kneeling legions of followers and the denizens of conquered planets before him, treasures pouring through his fingers as he cackled, and his bejeweled cloak flying in galactic winds as he commanded Neptune's Gambit to every corner of the universe and back to plunder its mystical secrets danced enticingly through his mind. Accompanied by the visions of lush and dangerous worlds he had yet to explore, the ancient technology and dark mysteries lying in wait for him to unmask, and the fleeting, sinful thought that perhaps, just perhaps, not everything about the universe was cold steel, electricity and science and somewhere, magic existed, these thoughts lulled the exhausted young Troll to sleep on the tiled floor of the training room.

There he slumbered until the active cycle ended and the ambient lighting of Neptune's Gambit dimmed. The crew, dismissed from their duties, retired to their bunks, and Dualscar, last to leave his bridge, finally returned to the training room. The red lock-indicator lights switched back to green with a friendly tone and the door swished open neatly. Shocked, Dualscar paused to survey the carnage that had befallen his training room. It certainly was white hot and scathing, he had to admit, as his eyes finally fell upon the figure of his supposed heir still asleep by the poolside. His own anger long ebbed and cooled, the Captain walked with silent footfalls to his side, gathered him gingerly into his arms, and bore him out into the ship and back up to his room.

Eridan never stirred. He stayed soundly asleep with his head tipped against Dualscar's shoulder as he walked. Nary a sound left his lips nor twitch marred his peaceful face as he carefully undressed him and set him into his recouperacoon. Only when he slid the thick-framed spectacles off his face did Eridan finally protest, his eyes screwing shut before they fluttered open and searched the darkness around him. Dualscar knelt down beside him and their eyes met in a silent moment of understanding and realization. Eridan sank down against the slope of the recliner underneath the sopor slime, and let the soothing green liquid lap up to his chin. Dualscar offered him a half smile and a shrug.

"Hey," he said, just to break the silence.

"Hey," Eridan muttered in reply, eyes shifting down and away.

Dualscar sighed heavily, ran a hand through his hair, and propped himself on a hip up against the side of the husk.

"Look lad, about earlier," he began firmly, "I… I'm harsh on you because I want you to be ready when the time comes. You know that right?"

Eridan closed his eyes.

"Yeah I know."

"Good. It's just that- It makes me so furious to not see you livin' up to your full potential. I've told you time and time again what it takes, what I want, what I need from you and you just don't see. You're blind to everythin' else but your crazy delusions and I don't know how to get through to you. It's like I'm rammin' my horns into a brick wall time an' time again hopin' to get a reaction but that's just it! It's a brick wall! I'm at a loss. I don't know what to say or do to get you to give up on your dumb, silly little games and magical artifacts and grow up."

Eridan winced and turned his head mutely away. Dualscar rolled his eyes and snatched his chin to turn his face back toward him.

"I saw what you did to my trainin' room," he continued with a tint of hope in his deep voice, "I'd like to see a little more of that spit and fire in you. A warrior is what did that down there. And I know you got a warrior in you. You see? You don't need any of those devices or treasures or doomsday devices you keep huntin' for. All you need is you. Your iron fist, your weapon, your bloodlust. YOU will be able to subjugate any peon that dares stand in your way."

The younger seadweller listened, but his face registered nothing of what his mentor was attempting to instill in him.

"Sure."

Dualscar sighed again.

"Remember what I told you since you was but a wee little wiggler? Ain't no one or nothin' ever gonna be kind to you in this glubbin' pathetic existence. Kindness is a fuckin' myth. Power is the only thing that matters. You gotta get them first or else someone'll get you. Everythin' boils down to the weak and the strong, and we royal bloods… We're strong. We are ordained by fate to be rulers of the universe. This is in your very veins! Remember?" he insisted.

A nod was all he got in response.

"And THAT is what I want you to remember and learn well. Keep it close to your black heart. Let is fester and grow and run cold through your very being. Dreams… Fantasies… None of it has a place in the real universe, Eridan. Perhaps I've sheltered you a bit much, or perhaps I ain't been insistent enough that you take part in how a real goddamn Pirate vessel is supposed to work, or perhaps I haven't allowed you to develop a taste for blood on your own. But either way, I think what you learned tonight was important. I think after this I'm going to see a change, wouldn't you agree?"

Only one answer would suffice to that question.

"Yeah I… Got distracted. Is all…" Eridan affirmed

"Good. You'll find your way sooner or later. Now, let's put tonight behind us and forget it ever happened. You've got a couple weeks or so to get yourself together and sharpen up your skills because Mindfang and her crew are going to meet up with us and stay for a while."

Finally, that solicited a dramatic response. Eridan sat bolt upright in his recouperacoon and gripped the edges hard, baring his fangs.

"What? Again? You have to be fuckin' jokin'!" he snarled.

Dualscar rolled his eyes and stood, waving a hand dismissively.

"I don't fuckin' joke. This is still my ship and I'll invite whomever I jolly well please onto it. I know you're still sore about Vriska rebukin' your caliginous advances, but that was forever ago and you need to get the fuck over it," he scolded.

Eridan just buried his face in his hands and moaned. Vriska Serket; the blue lipped, cackling, demon right hand of Mindfang herself. She still haunted his memory and the hollows of his heart. The Gamblignant femme fatale had taken in the runaway teen a few years prior, saw something of herself in her and given her the universe at her fingertips. Vriska was ruthless and cruel and prized trickery and wickedness above all else. To her, life aboard Marquise Mindfang's vessel was nothing but a bloody game to be played and conquered and to lose meant to lose any right to continue to breathe. At first, Eridan had been entranced by her and her unabashed glee for bloodshed. When Mindfang would visit they would always be together; scheming and exploring and cultivating their budding rivalry of the pitchest black. But as they grew closer, Vriska's amusement in Eridan's ideas swiftly waned until he, too, became part of the colossal joke she made of everyone and everything beneath her. She hadn't rebuked him, she had led him on with all of her wicked wiles into thinking their rivalry had sparked into a flame that could one day rip the cosmos to shreds and then dropped him without even a flinch the moment she decided he could never keep up with her.

"Besides," Dualscar added as Eridan brooded, "You shouldn't be waxin' black for her anyway, you could learn a thing or two from her. She's good."

"No fuckin' thanks," Eridan spat into his palms.

"Suit yourself, you're no wiggler anymore," Dualscar conceded, "Now get some rest. You still look like shit and I want you to be in top shape when they get here."

"Fine…"

"Sleep well, lad."

"You, too."

They exchanged their terse platitudes of farewell without looking at one another. Eridan sank back into the comforting coolness of the sopor slime and shut his eyes as Dualscar marched regally out of his room, turning out the lights and letting the door hiss shut behind him. Left behind in the quiet, he swore a streak under his breath and turned onto his side to try and get back to sleep after slumbering most of the active cycle. Yet even as he drifted off, safe in the embrace of his recouperacoon and forcing unwanted thoughts out of his mind, his dreams were still filled with the ominous sounds of clacking dice and a spiteful cackle that sent shivers down his spine.


	7. She's Just Not That Into You

**Author's Note: **It's that time again, time for an UPDATE! Gosh golly look how fast I got this one out! And a nice long one too! This chapter contains a lot of VRISKA fair warning, as well as hinting at past EriVris so if that's not something you enjoy brace yourself! Don't worry it won't be a thing :T It just… WAS a thing. Also sorry for a lack of Sol again, he'll be in the next chapter bunches I promise! So please do enjoy, and if you do please tell me so! Getting comments really makes an author's day!

**Chapter 6**

**She's Just Not That Into You**

Where the next few days were a living hell for Eridan as he prepared for the descent of Dualscar's kismesis and her charge, Sollux spent them in relative peace alone in his engine room. Without a snooty seadweller constantly bombarding him with idle threats and pompous buffoonery, his routine had returned to its mundane normalcy. He started up the engines at the start of the active cycle, he charted courses, programmed his own projects secretively in the lulls of his day, and watched the flitting holographic screens of his hub fly and flash in front of him until it was time to shut everything down. Then, he did it all over again; just as he always had as the Helmsman of Neptune's Gambit. Once or twice his mind recalled his pinched, bespectacled face and the sweeping violet cape, and every once in awhile his red and blue eyes would catch sight of his scarf, still draped neatly over a control panel after his pilfering of it. For a moment he would gaze upon the soft, blue-striped garment and wonder if Eridan would ever come back to claim it, or if he had given it up as a trophy to the monster in the engine room forever. Part of him, he admitted to himself, would actually be rather disappointed in him in he did. But the other part of him knew Dualscar, in some ways better than even Eridan did, and if he had any hand in it he would be spending a very long time alone after his strange and entertaining visitor.

Knowing this, he was taken aback when one cycle, Eridan himself marched primly down to the engine room once again. He walked straight to the front of his hub and arranged himself with all the pomp and circumstance of a prince before his loyal subject. Sollux tossed a baiting grin at the seadweller as he greeted him with the usual loathed moniker, but Eridan ignored it as he crossed his arms across his chest, squared his shoulders and lifted his nose as he cleared his throat noisily.

"Attention, mustardblood! I just wanted to inform you that you are to be on your best behavior for a while. An important friend of Dualscar's is comin' to visit and I don't want any of your shenanigans or pranks or whatever it is you find so fuckin' hysterical!" he announced.

Sollux blinked, tipping his head to the side.

"Well, that's no way to greet me after you abandoned me down here so long," he teased, pouting showily, "And you mean Marquise Mindfang, right? I don't really see why that's any of my goddamn business or why I should be assbothered by it, but okay?"

"It is your goddamn business because you're in control of this ship and Dualscar's gonna want his time alone with her and if you mess this up rest assured I'll be the one servin' you your just desserts!" Eridan reiterated, jabbing a finger at the bound Psionic.

"So let me get this straight. I just want to be extra sure I understand because I'm just an idiot lowblood and I'm easily confused by things such as simple directions, learning my colors and my shapes, how to count to ten, and how to use the potty all by myself. You came all the way down here… Just to tell me to continue to do my job?"

Eridan's fins flared and his cheeks flushed a soft violet indignantly.

"No! That's not what I-! Just listen! I don't want you rockin' the boat so to speak!" he barked, throwing his hands in the air.

Sollux could hardly believe the golden line Eridan had inadvertently handed him on a velvet cushion. He even paused a beat, just to be certain the seadweller was actually oblivious to what he was about to say, then continued with zeal.

"Dualscar and Mindfang do a pretty good job of that themselves, don't you think?" he snickered.

Eridan's flared fins drooped suddenly, as if cuffed across the face, and his cheeks blanched in sheer revulsion as he cupped a hand over his mouth and gagged.

"Oh GOD I don't even wanna think about that! Thanks for THAT mental image asswipe. You can't just gouge out your mind's eye you know!" he retched.

"You're welcome!" Sollux sang mirthfully.

Eridan flailed and spluttered and made unholy sounds until the Psionic was done enjoying the display and laughing hysterically.

"So other than that, why did you come down here? Couldn't be because you missed me, could it?" he pondered at last, waggling his eyebrows.

"Good God no! I'd sooner go tenderly embrace the warty wet backside of a diseased sea cow and then take it for a five course romantic dinner than come visit you voluntarily!" Eridan said indignantly as he recoiled, "I also need my scarf back! I don't want to have to invent some stupid fuckin' tale for Vris about why I don't have it because she's going to notice and she's going to turn it into this huge embarrassin' debacle and I ain't dealin' with it!"

Intrigued, and inwardly pleased the battle for the scarf appeared to still be on, Sollux craned his head forward.

"'Vris', huh?" he ventured.

"Vriska," Eridan corrected, "Vriska Serket. She's one of Mindfang's unwashed minions and we used to kind of be friends or somethin' but she's a liar and a bitch and I want nothin' to do with her anymore."

While he talked, Eridan spotted his beloved scarf still reclining gracefully over Sollux's console. He made a stealthy snatch for it, but it slipped from in between his fingers and fluttered into the air, flashing red and blue.

"Damn you! That is my property! This is larceny and mutiny and if your brain wasn't plugged into the goddamn ship I'd rip you outta your socket like a bad light bulb and chuck you out into the vacuum of space myself!" he ranted furiously.

Sollux laughed.

"Oh I see! Well that is too bad but-! I think I'll still hang onto it. I've been enjoying wearing it on my long cold lonely sleep cycles. And it's so silky soft on the skin… Clearly made of the finest materials," he crooned as he draped it over his shoulders, his lisp and his stunning arrogance making Eridan's skin crawl.

"Stop! No! FUCK! What are you-? DON'T EVEN! Don't you dare fuckin' get your lowblood filth all over that!" he screeched.

But it was too late. The ocean blue striped scarf was already twined snugly around the Psionic's neck. The guttural cry that wrenched from Eridan's lips only made Sollux laugh harder.

"AUGH! You did not just-! You will pay for that LATER mustardblood! I have to go, but rest assured I WILL be back! Don't think for a second you've won! You have invoked a fury the likes of which you have never contended with!" the highblood hissed as he retreated.

"Don't disappoint me this time, Prince Fishface! I'll be waiting!" Sollux called after him, his cackling following him the entire way out of the engine room.

Eridan returned to his post with Dualscar and the crew none the wiser of his errand and finished out his duties for the cycle in a fuming snit. Two full cycles after the incident came the day Eridan had been dreading to his very core; the day Mindfang's black vessel with its eerie blue lights like hungry eyes emerged from the pitch of space to dock with Neptune's Gambit.

The crew, alongside Sollux, Eridan assumed with distaste, attended to the docking procedures with militaristic speed and meticulousness while their Captain and their Prince watched from the bridge. Mindfang's ship drifted precariously close, a leviathan astride a leviathan, and matched its speed with theirs. Once everything was stabilized and optimal, then began the work on extending the airlocked bridge that would allow free travel between the two behemoth ships while they drifted together in infinity. The scowl and seething bitterness rolling off of the younger seadweller in waves as they oversaw the dark limb reach out from their ship did not go unfelt, and as soon as Dualscar took one look at the expression on Eridan's face he elbowed him hard in the ribs. He hissed and cursed under his breath, fins twitching in annoyance, but adjusted his cape and followed dutifully after his master to meet their fellow pirate captain and her cohorts.

The docking bridge door loomed ominous and dark, tendrils of pale mist still coiling around the frame from the sealing. Dualscar and Eridan stood at the head of their phalanx of the top ranked officers, waiting in silent anticipation. Or at least Dualscar's attention was rapt. Eridan glanced aside at his eager scarred face and stared a few moments pointedly, hoping to at least garner a glimpse, a shrug, even a scowl, but his eyes never strayed. They never did when Mindfang was involved. Eridan knew he was doomed to a long visit of being completely ignored by his mentor and avoiding a certain blue blooded thorn in his side with a penchant for mischief, mayhem, and broken hearts. Resigned to his fate, he sighed as he listened to the distant thunder of footfalls through the interspace walkway and cringed as the door slid open.

Mindfang melded from the darkness, all sinewy curves clad in skintight black leather lined in cerulean blue, and a spidery grin. Her boots snapped sharply against the metal floor, her coat swished enticingly around her thighs, and her grand tricorn embellished in grand blue plumes tipped just over her eyes. Behind her, her chosen band of cohorts fanned out in perfect formation as they followed their queen, and among them, Eridan could just see a crooked grin and a pair of devilish eyes with their vision eightfold searching out their prey. He shrunk back as Dualscar swept forward, cape billowing as he opened his arms and welcomed his rival dark empress of piracy.

"Mindfang… It has been far too long," he crooned.

"Dualscar, my old friend," she purred, sliding her long fingers and sharpened yellow nails around his cheeks and cupping his face, "Indeed it has."

She grinned, gazing into Dualscar's captivated irises and stroking over his cheeks with her thumbs before she shifted her gaze to the younger seadweller standing what he thought was a safe distance behind.

"And Eridan, your little Prince!" Mindfang gasped playfully, "Nice of you to tear yourself away from your… Adventurous investigations, to come and greet me."

Eridan wrinkled his nose, but resisted the bait, despite the fact he only stood a few inches shorter than Dualscar and his treasure hunting had been a recent point of contention.

A brusque, but polite, "Of course," was all he offered in reply.

"Eridan's eight now, hardly little," Dualscar commented, much to his silent appreciation.

"Yes… Naturally… I just always think of him as your precious little heir still playing with treasure maps and magic wands," Mindfang hummed dismissively, turning back to face him.

Their eyes met with a cold spark of deep enmity. The grin that spread across Dualscar's face was dark, filled with violence and lust. Mindfang's was crooked, amused. They regarded one another in a moment of tense, loaded silence while Eridan ground his teeth and wrestled with the compulsion to punch his guardian square in the face. He never seemed to realize he flew straight into the Marquise's tangled web every time she so much as set foot upon Neptune's Gambit.

"He's grown a lot. In fact I'd wager to bet Eridan here could lick any one of your dirtscrapin' pirate scum in a toe to toe fight," Dualscar finally challenged, his low timbre rumbling in his throat.

"Ohhh. Careful… I might take you up on that later."

Eridan stifled his gasp of horror at Dualscar's scathing glare, but he could almost sense the unholy delight in Vriska, even still partially concealed among Mindfang's other constituents. His heart hammered in his chest, and he could only hope that over dinner Dualscar and Mindfang could find some other medium with which to indulge in their rivalry other than offering him up for sacrifice and spectacle. Dualscar and Mindfang exchanged a few more caustic pleasantries dripping with black desire before announcing that everyone should reconvene in Neptune's Gambit's grand, private dining hall. Eridan was the first one out of the docking bay and the first one to his usual seat at Dualscar's side at the head of the table.

Slowly, the rest of the select highblooded crew and the two captains filtered into the dining hall and took their places in the lush and decadent room. The walls were draped in the finest violet silk and hung with golden-framed nautical paintings of noble ships, fantastic beasts, and natural beauty unmatched. A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, bathing the long banquet table in sparkling light while white carved bone candelabras from some mammoth aquatic beast flooded the rest of the room in a soft, sumptuous golden glow. A fish tank filled with all manner of exotic breeds and specimens sat unassumingly at either end of the room, casting the flickering haze of the water over both Captains as they sat

Eridan watched in horror as Vriska entered, tall and slender with her curves clad in a dramatic and skintight black and blue tailed waistcoat, her arachnid eyes hungry behind her glasses as she searched the crowd. She spotted him quickly, even from across the room, grinned, slinked over and slid herself into the chair across from him.

"Well if it isn't my old pal Eri_dumb_ Am_bore_-a!" she chirped.

"Hey, Vris," he muttered emotionlessly.

She cackled with merriment, the sound like claws screaming against glass. Eridan began searching for the lowblooded servant with the wine carafe.

"Now now that's no way to say hi. You're not still sore about the way things ended between us, are you?" Vriska asked in a sugary voice.

"No," Eridan lied, "You said you were bored with me, so that's that."

Vriska sighed dramatically.

"Jeeeeeeeez. That was an invitation to get unboring, loser, not to stew in it and get more boring," she groaned.

A silent rustblood with his head bowed and eyes averted according to ship mandates finally appeared behind Eridan and filled his glass with dark red wine. He took it appreciatively and proceeded to drain it in hopes his old rival would move on.

"Hey, what happened to your little security blanket?"

Eridan spluttered and choked into his glass.

"My wh-?"

"Your scarf, stupid!"

The seadweller coughed and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"I uh… I lost it. It's nothing, I…" he retorted, finally reaching his limit, "Look, Vris. I'm really not in the mood to play this game tonight. Can't you just go sit with the rest of your crew? I'll sit here, we'll eat dinner and pretend that we're total strangers who never dove headfirst into a caliginous shitpile of complicated feelin's and mindgames and various other unpleasantries I'd rather not revisit. How's that?"

Vriska blinked owlishly, as if she understood nothing, then erupted into laughter.

"Sheesh, Eridan! I thought you said you still wanted to be my friend!" she snickered.

"I do. I just need some time to sort everything out," Eridan responded carefully.

"So then you are still sore about the way we ended things."

"NO!" Eridan cried, banging his hands on the table, "Look seriously just go! We can talk later!"

Still highly amused she was getting such a rise out of Eridan so soon, Vriska shrugged and pushed away from the table.

"Suit yourself! It's a date!" she announced just a little too loudly for Eridan's tastes and glided further down the table to sit closer to Mindfang among her own crew.

"It's not a-!" Eridan screeched, flushing bright purple and whipping back around to the servant that had just been filling his glass, "Rustblood get your worthless peasant ass back over here now!"

The unfortunate Troll gasped softly, spilling wine over the edge of another glass. The offended recipient cuffed him smartly across the face and shoved him on his way, muttering with the other highbloods around him about the worthlessness of the lower castes. The servant dipped his head and scurried obediently back to Eridan's side to fill his glass again. He drained it, hoping the haze of alcohol would dull the fury and hurt of the wounds Vriska would savagely tear back open without a second thought, not noticing Dualscar leaning over to talk under his breath.

"Eridan. I think tonight is an excellent night for patchin' up old, stupid wounds," he commented, tossing his head toward the other end of the table, "Go on, lad. Go sit with her."

"NO. I can't deal with her just yet. Just… Just leave me alone I'll handle it…" Eridan protested, training his eyes down at his empty plate.

Dualscar shrugged and, much to Eridan's relief, pressed the issue no further.

Dinner arrived shortly afterward ferried in on lavishly laden carts. While the rest of the diners ate their fill of the expensive delicacies provided by the illustrious pirate captain, bantered, jeered, and drank, Eridan sat quietly and pushed the food around on his plate. He let the din around him fade to a dull hum in his ears, let the entire room blur to nothing in the periphery of his vision, and let his mind wander. Instead, he consoled himself with the thought that he could find another lead on a treasure or technology that would win him respect. Perhaps, he thought, instead of a device he should look into programming or construction. The game Sollux had installed on his computer had opened his eyes to a world he never even considered, a world that could lead to Dualscar praising him for his cleverness and craftiness. If only he could show him he could be just as brutal in his own way, Eridan knew the strife between him and his mentor could finally come to an end.

If only he could gain control of the Helmsman.

Without his consent, his thoughts reeled back to Sollux. A lisping, crookedly grinning, sarcastic upstart enigma of a psychic terror that somehow managed to best him every single time even grafted to the ship and inhibited in his powers. He could just see the smarmy grin and hear his laughter, toying with him while all the while holding the key to a universe of power and dominion just out of his reach. The fire in his mischievous blue and red eyes burned in his mind's eye, a thing bound but unbroken, a force caged and waiting to be unleashed. It would make it all the sweeter when Eridan was Captain of Neptune's Gambit and Sollux was the one bowing his head, keeping his eyes on the floor, and responding to all his commands with a subservient, "yes captain," even with the obnoxious lisp. A small smiled tugged at the corner of his lips as he made patterns in the ruins of his dinner with his fork and envisioned Sollux obeying his every whim. So engrossed was he in his fantasy he never even noticed Vriska return to his side. He never heard her begin to speak, or anything she said, until she put her hands on her hips and leaned down close beside him and yanked on a fin viciously.

"Hey! Eridan! Eeeridan! ERIDUMB! Hey I've been talking to you!" she hollered into his ear.

He dropped his fork with a yelp and yanked his fin out of her grasp, flattening both of them, offended, against his head.

"FUCK, Vris! What the hell?" he snarled.

She rolled her eyes and put her hands back on her hips.

"I SAID- do you want to get out of here? Everyone's getting drunk and stupid and I'm bored," she repeated, smirking, "What were you thinking about?"

A tinge of purple colored Eridan's cheeks.

"Nothin'," he quipped, pushing his chair back and standing up, "Fine let's get outta here."

Vriska grinned and snatched his arm, dragging him out of the dining hall.

Together, they walked out into the quiet corridors of Neptune's Gambit and made their way to the observation deck. Perched high above the bridge, the observation deck was a small chamber lined only in pressure proof windows that provided a stunning panoramic view of crystalline stars and distant galaxies. Violet chaise lounges sat scattered about for relaxation and a few high-powered telescopes peered eyelessly out into the vastness of space. Below the forward windows the majestic main canons stretched out over the deck like sleeping beasts, slumbering until awakened to wage fiery war. Eridan and Vriska made their way to the railing and untangled their arms, leaning against it to gaze out into the stars.

"Neptune's Gambit really is a magnificent ship, isn't it?" Vriska mused at length.

"Mmm…" Eridan agreed softly.

"You'll be a lucky Troll one day to have it."

The seadweller scoffed and folded his arms over the railing.

"Sure, as soon as I can pry it out of his cold dead flippers, he sure as hell isn't going to give it to me one second sooner," he muttered.

"Well that's easy to fix, just stop sucking at everything you do and LISTEN to what he has to say!" Vriska laughed.

Eridan's head bowed, his fins drooped, and his shoulders hunched, silent. Vriska reached over and tugged on a jagged horn playfully, but when that solicited no reaction, she sidled closer to him, letting her hip and shoulder brush against his.

"So other than continually disappointing your universally feared custodian that's taken care of you better than any Lusus, how have you been?" she teased.

"Just peachy," Eridan retorted flatly.

"Liar. What about your training? Surely you haven't fucked that up yet," snorted Vriska.

All Eridan could recall was the last time they had trained together, the fight, and being locked in the gym for an entire cycle alone.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he answered, Dualscar's lecture still ringing in his ears.

His companion growled in frustration and tossed her long wavy hair.

"Come on Eridan! Talk to me! Has Dualscar at least let you tag along with him while he's doing the unstoppable Seadweller thing? I've gotten to go on tons of raids and missions with Mindfang already, certainly you've at least tagged along," she bragged.

As much of a failure as he had been, Dualscar indeed had at least granted him freedom to experiment. He placed his trust in him time and time again, even despite his shortcomings. Eridan raised his head and smiled faintly as he straightened his back and lifted his chest.

"Naturally," he affirmed with a note of pride in his voice and fins pricking back up, "I've done more than that. I've even designed and lead several conquests myself!"

"Oh watch out, big bad Eridan's out on the hunt," Vriska cackled with her hands up, "That doesn't mean you've gotten down and dirty in the trenches though! Doesn't count if you haven't come away from a fight with a nice battle scar and blood all over your hands. Haven't you gotten to kill anyone yet?" 

"Is that even a real question? Sure lots of people!" Eridan said smugly.

"I meant on PURPOSE," Vriska amended herself snidely.

All the confidence and bravado Eridan had managed to scrape together instantly deflated. His shoulders slumped and he hooded his eyes in irked dismay.

"You know Vris. Why do you always gotta take everything I say or do, back right up over it and make a big spectacle of droppin' your drawers and takin' a colossal dump on it? And then not only that, but puttin' the whole steamin' mess on a silver fuckin' platter and paradin' it around for all to see like the fuckin' Condesce herself was comin'?" he growled, gesticulating wildly.

Vriska stared at him a moment, then erupted into hysterics, doubling over the observation deck railing.

"Oh my GOD! You've always been so dramatic!" she howled.

"I'm not bein' dramatic! That was uncalled for!"

"Okay so you still suck at anything and everything related to fighting and leading and being a Pirate in general. Good to know. So then how about… Sex?" she asked, turning to lean on her side as she changed the subject.

Eridan's brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

Vriska rolled her eyes back with a groan.

"Don't be a pathetic innocent little wiggler, I mean have you slept with anyone yet?" she asked.

"Oh. That," Eridan blurted, answering quickly, "Of course I haven't. Why would I? I mean it's not like we're in much of a position to-"

He stopped himself at the look of sheer shock and malicious delight on Vriska's face, flushing a deep purple from his cheeks to the tips of his fins.

"Oh my GOD you're still a VIRGIN? And you ADMITTED it! I can't believe you actually ADMITTED it!" she squealed.

"IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL!" Eridan defended with a grimace, "Wait but you-! You haven't either! I mean-! Wait have you?"

"Of course I have, moron!" Vriska sang brightly with a flip of her raven locks, "It's not like it's hard."

Eridan's jaw fell open.

"You wh-? You…? But? How…?" he stammered.

Vriska raised one eyebrow and twisted her lips bluntly to the side.

"God damn it obviously I know how it works! Just-! Who? Do you have someone? Flushed? Or…" Eridan couldn't bring himself to even mention the quadrant he had once sought her in.

"A lady does not kiss and tell, but if you must know. No, none of my quadrants are filled, but they don't need to be to enjoy yourself. A lesson you ought to learn well! It really is pretty mind blowing," she purred, biting her lower lip and turning back to watch the stars with a suggestive arch of her back.

Eridan stared in stunned silence. In one careless instant Vriska had taken everything he ever was to her, everything they ever were together, and reduced it to even less than a casual day in the throes of passion with a Troll he bet she didn't even remember the name of. With a toss of hair and a blue-lipped grin over her fangs, breasts pressed alluringly between her arms on the railing, she so easily lofted herself above him. He was abandoned alone in the past while she forged ahead with her own destiny clutched savagely in her claws and thought nothing of him again.

"God damn it, Vris! Don't you give two shits about hate or love or anything?" he finally exploded.

"No, and you shouldn't either! You're wound so tight your head's about to pop off your spine and hover around the room! Learn to relax a little!" she retorted flippantly.

The room felt suddenly dense and small, like the air itself and the walls had begun to close in on him.

"I can't-! You're so-! This is-! I can't deal with this anymore. I can't. I can't do it. I gotta get outta here," he announced, tangling his bejeweled fingers in his hair.

He turned around swiftly, purple cape billowing after him, and strode as fast as he could without breaking out into a sprint for the door and ladder in the center of the floor.

"Oh come on! Eridan! Don't go!" Vriska called after him, her voice as cheery and condescending as ever, "Come oooooon! Still can't take a joke either I see! Fine! Catch you later AmBOREa!"

The dignity of a response would have been too much for her, so Eridan clamped his jaw shut as he descended the ladder down to the main decks again and stormed off. He wrapped his cape tightly around himself as he marched aimlessly through the halls and kept his head down, mercifully only passing a few drunken crewmembers who wouldn't have recognized him from their own Lusus at that point. He just needed to get away. Just walk fast enough and echo loud enough against the metal corridors to drown out the sound of Vriska's mocking cackle and outrun the crushing despair. If he could keep moving and stop thinking, eventually, the ache in his chest and the clamoring in his brain would stop. Eridan cared little where he ended up, or who saw him, but even he was surprised when he turned a corner, exhausted, and found himself once again staring up at the towering Engine Room door.


	8. Zen and the Art of Zombie Slaying

**Author's Note: **Oops that was fast! I was just super inspired is all! Probably because FINALLY in this chapter Eridan and Sollux are hanging out together and being their usual nerdy snarky bitchy selves and it was SO much fun to finally get to write a WHOLE chapter of them! Also please to note that the game they play here is indeed inspired by L4D2. I had always intended for them to have this bonding moment from the moment I outlined this story, but I never really specified what TYPE of a game they would play! I recently got into L4D with some friends and it proved to be the perfect choice X3 Anyway! Enjoy the shippiness AT LAST and leave me any comments or concerns or pleadings to continue you may have!

**Chapter 7**

**Zen and the Art of Zombie Slaying**

Eridan held a staring contest with the inanimate metal door the likes of which Neptune's Gambit had never seen. He had no idea how he had unconsciously arrived there, or why his feet refused to immediately take him the opposite direction like they should have, but still he remained rooted to the spot. He tightened his cape around his body and scowled, striped shoes scuffing on the floor and eyes narrowed behind his thick glasses. Going inside would mean an almost certain refuge from Vriska and anyone else. The thought to look for him there would never occur to any of the highbloods aboard the ship, and certainly not to Vriska. However, going inside also meant an inevitable tiff with The Helmsman. Eridan wrestled with his conscience, sneering, and with one last glance over his shoulder decided between the lesser of two evils. He swore at himself and slammed against the heavy door, shoving it open and vanishing into the control light studded darkness of the deepest pit of the ship.

His feet already knew the way to Sollux's control hub and he made his way there with his mind a blank and his scowl cast scathingly at the floor. He knew the Psionic would sense him invading his inner sanctum again and knew also it would be better just to make himself known outright rather than be fished out and dragged against his will by something that was sure to be sore the next cycle. No words left his lips once he arrived at Sollux's eerily lit secluded corner, no greeting or insult. He gave him nary a glance nor acknowledgement, he simply shuffled into the halo of blue light cast by Sollux's holographic command screens and hunched his back against the wall, cape still wrapped protectively around his body. Sollux noticed him, surprised, and raised his brows as he psionically shifted his screens off to the side to see him better.

"Prince Fish breath? What are you doing here? I thought tonight was the big welcome dinner. Shouldn't you be up with all the other Highbloods schmoozing and boozing and-" he started to comment, only to be sharply cut off.

"Stop," Eridan ordered with such force, Sollux indeed halted the insult on his lips, "Just don't… Don't talk to me."

"Okay…?" was all he responded with.

While he watched, baffled, Eridan slid slowly down to the floor and drew his knees up into his chest. He wrapped his cape around them as well and huddled himself close into a purple wrapped ball amidst the thick terminal wires, fins drooped low and eyes downcast and unseeing. For several minutes he sat there as Sollux stared, waiting for something, anything, out of the usually puffed up highblood with grandiose orders and intents, suddenly a tiny pained thing curled up in a shadowed corner of his freakish home.

"Uh… You're not gonna say anything? No explanation? No grand proclamations and orders from my future captain? No half-assed insults about my blood color or my sad and pathetic lot in life?" he ventured.

When Eridan barely flinched, even hinting at his superiority, Sollux was truly unnerved.

"Wow, nothing? Really? Shit. What the hell happened up there?" he asked, aghast.

Eridan remained stubbornly silent. His face registered not a shred of emotion, not a clue that he was even hearing what Sollux was saying.

"You're freaking me out here, Fishlips," the Psionic continued.

Still, all Eridan did was close his eyes and lay his head on his knees turned away from the other Troll.

"Fine, suit yourself. It's no skin off my teeth."

Exasperated and thoroughly done with pouting seadwellers, Sollux shifted his holoscreens back in front of him and continued with his work in one and a civilization strategy and world building game in the other. He played through several stages of evolution and society and simultaneously finished the charts Dualscar had requested for the duration of Mindfang's visit while he allowed Eridan to sulk. He even performed a completely unnecessary system and maintenance check on the engine itself and the computer, just to busy himself and ignore him that much longer, but the gloomy presence crept into his very bones and twisted and cloyed at his nerves with a persistent and constant aggravation. His pixel race of alien beings had begun exploring other galaxies in highly advanced platoons when he had finally had enough.

"If you're going to hang out here and give me the silent treatment, do I get to ask why you're invading my personal space to pout, or…?" Sollux finally demanded.

Eridan's eyes flicked up, finally calmed down and annoyed enough to speak.

"No you do not," he barked, "And this is hardly your 'personal space'. Your personal space is like a foot around you or somethin'."

"Well mine's not. Mine's about the whole engine room. Come through that door and you're preeeetty much violating me on every level. I ought to call the Imperial Drones," Sollux huffed sarcastically, relieved that Eridan was sounding more like himself.

"Oh that's bullshit! You can't just decide your personal space is the whole fuckin' engine room. That's like me movin' to some meteor or small planet or somethin' and decidin' the whole damn thing is my personal space and no one can come for no reason at all!" Eridan argued, unfolding from himself and crossing his legs underneath him.

"Isn't that pretty much what you seadwellers plan on doing anyway?" Sollux rebuked with a snort.

"No! Conquerin' a place fair and square and just up and sayin' you're the new boss without the balls to back it up ain't the same thing! Everyone knows that," Eridan puffed, lifting his nose in the air and pushing his glasses back up.

"Sounds the same to me…" Sollux goaded again.

"No, see it isn't! Righteous conquest and you not wantin' someone creepin' on you and pokin' you in the ass aren't even kind of, sort of, a little bit, maybe, the same thing!" his opponent insisted, fins flaring.

"I'm pretty sure all the civilizations you're planning on conquering don't want the metaphorical random unprovoked poke in the ass you're planning on giving them, so same difference," came the effortless retort.

"Fuckin' no! Pokin' someone in the ass is just bein' a douchebag. Formal declarations of war and organized attacks have some decorum to them! They have a noble sort of chivalry! They obey rules and customs and- Wow I can't believe I'm actually sayin' this. This is literally the dumbest debate I have ever been in," Eridan finally realized.

He put a hand to his temple, shaking his head as if somehow his mind and actions had not been his own. Sollux chuckled.

"Probably. But now at least you're talking to me," he said with an uncharacteristic touch of amicability in his voice.

Realizing suddenly he had been duped out of his pout, Eridan's jaw dropped.

"I-! Wha-? You…! Damn it…" he groused, cheeks coloring, "You fuckin' tricked me!"

"Maybe. But this is much better than you sitting there and stewing in whatever shit you got going on in that twisted little thinkpan of yours," Sollux laughed.

Eridan huffed through his nose and looked darkly away.

"What do you care whether or not I'm talkin' to you?" he griped.

"I don't. It's just a you I can argue with is better than a you who's just sitting here occupying space polluting my air with your overwhelming reek of pathetic."

That insult at last roused Eridan from the floor and to his feet.

"Hey fuck you! I am not pathetic! You have no idea what I was dealin' with all night! No fuckin' clue!" he snarled as he stalked straight up to Sollux's hub and met him eye to eye.

The Psionic recoiled as best he could with his arms bound above his head.

"You ran away and hid in a dank dark engine room and picked the lowblooded slave over your highblood party, I think I have all the clue I need," he retaliated.

"You couldn't possibly hope to even half understand with that filthy sludge slippin' through your veins! You don't know the burden we highbloods bear! And besides all that, you'd run, too! Don't you know what it's like to have someone you thought you had something with, only to have them stab you in the back and drag you through miles of emotional shit time and time again every single time you look at them?"

Sollux stared blankly at him until reality finally made it past the haze of his anger.

"Oh right, of course not," the seadweller hastily corrected himself, "Well it sucks, let me tell you. And she wasn't even really my ex to begin with! We were never officially a kismesis pair! Yet she insists on remindin' me and tellin' me how much BETTER she's doin' now that we're not…"

Eridan's head dropped miserably again. His fins flattened and his fists uncoiled weakly at his sides.

"And it's all one big joke to her. I'm one big joke to her. And I guess I always was…"

Sollux bit his lower lip and resisted the urge to make the obvious snarky comment. Eridan looked so defeated, so small and despondent, and there was no honor in going in for the kill on something already beaten down.

"It can't be that bad…" he offered with forced gentleness.

"Bad enough I picked comin' down here to deal with you rather than deal with her!" Eridan snapped.

"True," Sollux had to admit, "But hey, it's not surprising when you think about it. She's got an unfair advantage over you after all."

Curious, and mildly offended, Eridan looked back up and frowned.

"I mean, look at you. You're a sniveling emotional wreck, she obviously isn't. She obviously never felt the same way you did and now she's using it against you. You're playing right into her hand like the dumbfuck you are."

His eye twitched and he started to object, but Sollux continued smoothly with a casual smile.

"But with us, we've got an equal playing field without all those feelings and emotions and issues and baggage. We can just duke it out and go about our business like nothing ever happened," he explained.

Eridan mulled his point over in his brain and eventually had to concede he was right. Their quarrels were only sport where everything and anything having to do with Vriska left his gut twisting and his chest and brain aching.

"I suppose you have something right there for once, slave," he muttered, wrinkling his nose and glancing warily around the control hub as all of his grievances threatened to burst free, "It's just… With Vris… Everythin' is a fuckin' competition only she gets to make up all the rules. There's no use playin' because you can't win…"

"Sure," Sollux agreed with a knowing nod, "So fuck her right? I mean can't you just-"

"And it's not even just that!" Eridan cut in, ignoring Sollux's groan, "Then there's Dualscar and his asinine little thing for Mindfang. He totally ignores me when she's around! And I know the only reason she's sidlin' up to him is to get on his sweet side. She's a wanted criminal and sooner or later The Condesce is gonna want her head on her trident and Dualscar's the only one who could catch her! He thinks they have this epic, cosmos unravellin' black romance goin' on but I know he wouldn't have the stones to actually subdue her! So if it isn't Vris tormentin' me it's Dualscar, too! Brushin' me off and pawnin' me off on that bitch even though he knows full well what happened! And don't even get me started on the rest of the miserable curs we call a crew! They're all good for nothin' and they hate me anyway, so who needs them…"

Eridan trailed off and wrapped his cape securely back around himself once more. Sollux said nothing, getting the distinct feeling he was a captive audience to frustrations Eridan had long wanted to vent, but listened as the other Troll gathered the breath and the fury to speak again.

"And it's total bullshit to work so hard at somethin' an' have the one person you want to impress just drop you like a ton of bricks the moment somethin' more interestin' comes along. My ideas are fuckin' great! Legendary! Dualscar doesn't appreciate a single goddamn thing I do! Just because I want to think of other ways, BETTER ways, to wipe out lowbloods and our other enemies and I don't want to jump in firing blindly and hacking and slashing like he does doesn't mean I'm weak or stupid or pathetic or a failure like he always says! He's the one who doesn't listen not me!"

The tirade ended with a flushed, seething Eridan jabbing his finger at a grimacing Sollux, but all at once the ire and the wrath seemed to crumble to nothing under the weight of the sorrow they masked. Eridan closed his eyes and hung his head wearily, slinking a few steps back from the Helmsman's hub.

"I'm sick and fuckin' tired of everyone laughin' at me…" he whispered, "You can go ahead now, I know you've been just dyin' for your chance."

He braced himself for Sollux's hysterical laughter and to be ejected from the engine room via Psionics, but humiliation never came. When he looked back up at the Helmsman he found only a strange expression of obtuse understanding and a half smile.

"Don't sweat it. Highbloods are cutthroat assholes to everyone, including each other, you shouldn't really feel-" he started, only to spark a renewed blaze of rage in his companion.

"Shut up! Don't you DARE speak of them that way!" Eridan bellowed defensively, "Dualscar gave me everything! He took me in and raised me when he didn't have to and all he wants is for me to be ready when the time comes! I owe him my life and more! If you even so much as suggest to me he is anythin' else but a fuckin' hero I will personally lop off your head and deliver it to him in front of the whole of Alternia so everyone will know what happens when you speak out against your superiors!"

Stunned, Sollux mentally berated himself for even suggesting to a seadweller, even a wounded one, what their true nature might be.

"Okay, okay! Alright never mind! Forget I said anything!" he spat angrily.

Even Eridan looked unconvinced by his outburst, however, and he returned to huddling himself in his cape and examining the floor. He fussed with the hem and the golden chain binding it together. He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, rubbed his upper arms and cleared his throat as the blood rushed in his ears and the same feeling of choking began to close in on him.

"I should just-"

"Hey…" Sollux interrupted before he could finish and flee, "You know what I do when the world's being a nookwhiffing asshat and I can't fucking stand it anymore?"

Eridan turned his wide yellow eyes up to his, silently awaiting the answer.

"I kill zombies."

Anticipation warped to digusted disdain on his features.

"Zombies? What the actual fuck are zombies?" Eridan scoffed.

"Seriously? You've never even- Okay I don't even know why I'm surprised anymore. Here, I'll just show you," Sollux said as he pulled up a larger holographic screen.

The files opened and shifted under only the control of his mind on the glowing surface that stretched ceiling to floor. A list of games scrolled by on its own until Sollux found the one he was looking for and opened it. The introduction began with the credits and a montage of disheveled, but determined zombie survivors battling their way through the legions of slavering undead with an impressive array of guns, explosives, and melee weapons. Eridan watched, spellbound.

"Whoa… Wait so they're corpses?" he gaped in awe.

"Yeah reanimated ones. That also want to kill you because that's what zombies do. There's a whole story about a science experiment gone wrong in a disease testing lab you probably wouldn't be interested in," Sollux elaborated as he scrolled through the preferences and adjusted the settings.

"No! I want to see it! I demand you show me the story! I have to know what kind of science could create this! And why I haven't heard of it…" Eridan piped enthusiastically.

"It's a game, moron," laughed the Psionic.

"I know, but it still might prove useful!" Eridan haughtily insisted.

"Alright fine. I guess it is better when you know the story, and I don't want you wandering off trying to figure it out by yourself when you need to be helping me waste some undead scum."

Several strange words he never expected to hear out of the Helmsman's lips made Eridan balk. He whirled around away from the screen and stared at Sollux in mute disbelief.

"Wait you're… Actually going to let me play… With you? Not against you?"

Sollux raised a brow.

"Well yeah, it sucks doing campaign mode alone. And if we play something together I don't have to listen to your diarrhea of the mouth anymore," he commented with a smirk.

"Should have known better…" Eridan sighed, hooding his eyes disapprovingly.

"Hehe, just choose your character fish lips."

Two controllers, one red and one blue, floated out from a storage bin and neatly plugged themselves into the computer console just beneath the holoscreen. The red one drifted through the air to hover in front of Sollux while the blue tidily plopped itself into Eridan's hands. He held it at arm's length at first, as if the psionics might scald his skin, but once it proved itself to be innocuous he coiled his fingers around it and began experimentally pushing buttons.

"Where'd you even get all this stuff?" he asked absently as he watched the controls go haywire on the screen.

Sollux snickered and selected his usual character from the list, using his Psionics to press the buttons and move the joystick of his controller.

"Some of it I programmed myself, some of it I pirated, some of the hardware I conned out of Dualscar for good behavior," he replied.

"Tch. No wonder he said you're a pain in the ass," Eridan remarked as he finally figured out how to make a selection on the screen.

"I'll take that as a compliment, with pride!" Sollux beamed, "Now shut up, stay close to me, and do what I say and maybe, just maybe, we'll make it out of the zombie apocalypse alive."

The game began and Sollux allowed it to play through the opening cinematic for Eridan to watch. The story, the atmosphere, the drama, and the destruction enraptured him from the moment the camera panned in on the scenes of the carnage. He nearly forgot that once his character was deposited amongst the ruins he was supposed gather weapons, provisions, and ultimately to follow Sollux and survive. After running around to scope out the area, and fending off annoyed urging from his co-player, he armed his character with a shotgun and they both set off into the fray. Much to his dismay, he did not survive the first onslaught of the zombie horde and was soundly slaughtered. Amidst much cursing and a heated exchange of insults, Sollux returned to revive him and lectured him on the controls of the game. More prepared, their next foray into the apocalyptic streets proved much more successful.

Shooting in game was not so different than shooting an actual gun, Eridan discovered, and came without the added complication of correcting his aim, the recoil, or actually having to reload. As he fell deeper into the dark universe of the game and the controls became more natural, he quibbled playfully with Sollux while they navigated the ruined buildings and protected one another from the waves of lumbering corpses and monstrosities out for their blood. He never even felt the scowl on his face slowly shift into a smile. Everything that had hounded his mind and heart since Mindfang and Vriska's arrival melted away into the excitement and thrill of surviving, fighting back, and ruthlessly destroying his enemies. With every zombie that screeched and exploded into a pile of blood and gore at the hands of his trusty shotgun Eridan's grin grew wider. Finally, they endured the final test of their mettle and fought back the hungering crowds long enough to rush to the rescue helicopter and fly to safety.

"We did it! Take that you mindless undead nightmare constructs from hell!" Eridan jeered as the credits rolled with the stats of their session.

Sollux set his controller down and grinned.

"Who would have thought? You're not half bad at this one, Fishface!" he chuckled.

"Hah! Of course I am! I told you before I'm the best marksman this universe has ever known or will ever know! You should have told me there were games like this sooner!" he crowed, fins pricked up high and nose in the air.

"Well you could have figured it out on your own but hey, with your busy schedule who has time for that?" Sollux joked.

"Exactly," Eridan agreed cheerily, missing the point entirely.

Sollux made no attempt to banish the almost fondly wry grin on his lips as he watched Eridan return to his usual conceited self, proud and arrogant and indomitable. It was a marked improvement.

"See? I told you blowing up some zombies is the best cure for crippling emotional issues," he snickered.

Eridan grimaced.

"I do not have-!" he began, only to harrumph and grin wider, "No, you know what? I won't allow the fact that you are an insufferable prick ruin what we have accomplished. So there!"

"You said we," Sollux observed amusedly.

"Pardon?"

"You said we! Not 'I'. We. Does that mean I get some credit for our escape from the jaws of death?" the Helmsman persisted.

Pursing his lips, Eridan considered the motion and made his decree with a sweep of his hand.

"I suppose. Seein' as it was my first time and I did need a guide. Next time you won't be so lucky!" he proclaimed.

"Next time, huh? There's to be a 'next time'?" Sollux asked curiously, relishing the swift dark purple flush on Eridan's cheeks.

"I said nothin' of the sort! It was a hypothetical next time! Nothin' more!"

"I'm sure," Sollux snorted.

The game flickered off and the screen closed itself with a brief hiss of static. The controllers unplugged themselves, glowing faint blue and red in the newfound darkness the holoscreen had left behind, and put themselves away neatly in their storage bins. Control screens took the place of the games and Sollux noted with a smirk that it was nearly time to power down the ship for the sleep cycle.

"And look at that! We managed to waste the rest of the night and now it's time to go to sleep. Looks like you get to avoid the bitch, at least for tonight," he informed Eridan.

The seadweller peered at the screens and heaved a heavy sigh of relief.

"Good fuckin' riddance. I'll have to come up with a way to avoid her tomorrow but I guess I got time to think of that," he grumbled.

"Think about it on the way back to your respiteblock, and preferably not out loud," teased Sollux as he began the shutdown procedure.

"Yeah, yeah."

Eridan stood up and stretched his arms over his head, feeling much lighter in spirit. There had been something oddly therapeutic about transporting himself to another world for a few hours and obliterating computerized foes in a way that was completely new. Dualscar's old strict rule about no games on his computer suddenly seemed rather unreasonable. He pushed any more rebellious thoughts out of his mind, however, to bask in the continued glow of satisfaction and enjoyment. He turned to go, but as he did out of nowhere and completely unannounced, his beloved scarf sailed through the air and wrapped itself tenderly around his neck. The familiar warmth and the scent of sea breezes washed over him, triggering an unconscious bright smile before it washed into confusion and doubt. Huddling it away lest it be snatched again, he glanced back at Sollux who had his eyes trained pointedly away, completely absorbed in his computer and not the slightest bit interested in choking or tormenting him with it or otherwise.

"You can have it back now. It reeks like fish, I'm tired of keeping it around, and it's one less thing for you to get all butthurt about so you don't have to run crying down here to me anymore," he said casually, eyes never leaving his screens.

Eridan twisted his ringed fingers into the striped blue fabric possessively and stared at the Helmsman. When Sollux continued to absorb himself in his duties and ignore him, he finally relaxed and righted his posture importantly.

"Well! It's about time!" he announced, "And for your cooperation I will allow this transgression to slide and I won't report it to the Captain."

"Much obliged. Now get lost before I change my mind and Vriska comes looking for a bedtime kiss," Sollux ordered, still grinning.

Flinching, Eridan continued to hold steadfast to his scarf as he turned on his heels.

"Yes, right. Um, good day," he said awkwardly.

"Good day."

Nothing more was said, and Eridan and Sollux parted ways. Sollux tried not to give him another look or a thought as he left, all swooping capes and pompous marching, but failed, turning his head to watch him go curiously. Eridan too, resisted the urge to stop and look over his shoulder one last time, but gave in, meeting the pair of enigmatic, haunted red and blue eyes. They looked at one another but a fraction of a moment before they mutually tore themselves away and went back to the strange silence left in the wake of their escape from reality. But it would linger, warm and comforting, in Eridan's chest as he stripped off his cape and scarf and hung them neatly on their usual pegs. The smile still tugged at his lips as he undressed and readied himself for bed and as he slept, cradled in the embrace of the soporific tub of his bed, the usual dulled nightmares were replaced instead with heroic visions of slaying monsters and prevailing in the face of death with Sollux by his side.


	9. An Eye for an Eye

**Author's Note: **And we're back to our regularly scheduled programming after a ridonculously long hiatus! Sorry about that! I moved back into my apartment after spending the summer with family and started my brand new job and in between all of that and the exhaustion I just couldn't find the time or energy to write! I got it now tho! So here is a shiny new chapter! And a nice long one for your patience ; w ;! Please excuse the horribleness as I am HIDEOUSLY rusty after such a long break and also please excuse me butchering the fuck out of Vriska's character. WHY SO COMPLEX SPIDERBITCH. Anyway! I'm just sorry about this chapter for a lot of reasons YOU WILL SEE. Enjoy anyway and if you did LET ME KNOW YOU'RE STILL OUT THERE IF I STILL HAVE ANY READERS LEFT I LOVE YOU ALL!

-Crow

**Chapter 8**

**An Eye for an Eye**

For several peaceful cycles afterward, Eridan was able to deftly avoid Vriska's noxious grip and any other source of unwanted agony. Dualscar was scarce as ever while tangled willingly in the rule of his black passions. The crew was busy making good appearances under penalty of death, which made it mercifully easy to order them around and strategically place himself directly away from any of Mindfang's minions. The young heir slept well, ate well, and allowed himself to relax. Until of course one night after an abnormally long spell of near happiness when the alarm clock went off, the lights came on, and the ship's engine rumbled to life deep in the belly of their vessel many decks below.

Eridan roused himself like any other evening, took a bleary but pleasant shower to cleanse himself of the lingering sopor slime, and dressed in his usual garb, leaving the cape and scarf for last when he would go among his subjects. He wandered out into his room as he brushed his teeth sleepily and switched on his computer, then made his way back to the bathroom to finish coifing his hair. Yawning and rubbing his eyes as he returned, he noticed that there was already a message blinking for him in his Trollian window. For a brief moment, he actually hoped it was Sollux with a colorful insult to parry and a new game for him to try, but as he suspected once he slid his spectacles onto his face to see and sat down in his chair there was only another familiar Trolltag and blue text flashing eagerly.

**arachnidsGrip [AG]****began trolling ****caligulasAquarium [CA]**

**AG: Heeeeeeeey! ::::)**

**CA: oh god wwhat do you wwant**

**AG: Rude! Can't I even message you without you assuming I want something?**

**CA: since wwhen havve you evver messaged me and not wwanted somethin**

**AG: I would never! Well ok may8e I do want something at this red-hot moment, 8ut pro8a8ly not what you think!**

**CA: its probably pretty much exactly wwhat i think it is but for the sake of diplomacy and morbid curiosity go ahead**

**AG: I just feel a little 8ad for the way we ended things the other night. It was uncalled for and unnecessary you know? You totally didn't have to go off the deep end like that!**

Eridan smacked a hand over his face with a low groan and debated blocking Vriska right then and there to spare himself the emotional cesspool he knew she would drag him into.

**CA: yeah no ok its exactly wwhat i thought it was gonna be**

**CA: later vvris**

**AG: Don't you dare 8lock me! ::::(**

**CA: howw do you evven know im goin to block you**

**CA: and furthermore wwhy shouldnt i **

**CA: all you evver do is drag me around like a vvanity barkbeast in a humiliatin swweater an belittle me an make me feel like shit so pardon me if i dont feel like signin up for a first class ticket to selfloathingvville on the emotional cripple express**

**AG: GOD will you let it go already? All I was trying to say was I wanted to get together to talk about it!**

Eridan sighed deeply and rubbed his temples. Talking to Vriska about anything, let alone their sordid relationship, was dead last on his shortlist of things to do that night.

**CA: i dont think thats a good idea vvris**

**AG: Why not? You're the one who freaked out and stormed out on me. I'm the one holding out an olive 8ranch! The only one here with issues is you!**

**AG: Look if you still want to 8e friends you really need to sack up and deal with it or tell me to take a long walk off a short gangplank and be done with it!**

His old rival was right, of course, but he was loathe to make the decision. Cutting ties with Vriska meant losing the closest thing he had to a real friend and the closest he had ever come to filling a quadrant. But the fact still remained he had always and would always be uncertain of her true motives. Vriska had never intended to step into the black regions of his heart, that much he knew, but he had trusted her once and the thought of trusting her again made his gut knot. Being a self-proclaimed strategist, he needed a second opinion and a master plan of escape should everything implode around him before he would even consider a meeting. One person existed in the limited universe of Neptune's Gambit certain to give him the ammunition he needed. Eridan sucked in a preparatory breath between his teeth and clicked 'twinArmageddons' to bring up a new message window.

**caligulasAquarium [CA]**** began trolling ****twinArmageddons [TA]**

**CA: sol**

**CA: sol answwer me**

**CA: i command you to answwer me**

No reply appeared, even after several minutes of impatient waiting and drumming of ringed fingers.

**CA: sol dammit i knoww youre there**

**CA: its not like you havve anywwhere else to be**

**TA: twenty buck2.**

The answer, once he got it, proved just as typically cryptic and obnoxious as Sollux always was.

**CA: wwhat**

**TA: I 2aiid twenty buck2!**

**TA: that2 the goiing rate for a favor twoniight.**

**CA: youvve got to be shittin me**

**CA: there is no wway im payin you to do anythin or evven sayin please learn your fuckin place you hardwwired bulgeridin shitblood**

**CA: and wwho said i evven wwanted a favvor in the first place**

**TA: giive me a break.**

**TA: why el2e would you bother harra22iing me?**

**TA: here2 an iidea ju2t 2piill iit 2o ii can 2ay no and we can both 2iit back and have a good long laugh.**

**CA: fuck you**

**CA: and i dont need a favvor I havve orders for you**

**TA: oh goody.**

Eridan resisted the strong urge to take the obvious bait and lampoon Sollux for his sarcasm and ignored it for the greater need.

**CA: ok listen up vvris wwants to air out the dirty laundry so to speak and i need an out**

**TA: an out?**

**CA: dont play dumb**

**CA: i know youre a lowwblooded peon but evven you can handle this**

**CA: all i need you to do is givve me a distraction at the signal**

**TA: 2iignal? what 2iignal?**

**CA: im gettin to that i hadnt really thought that far ahead**

**TA: why am ii not 2urprii2ed…**

Flustered, Eridan's fins flared and his fingers slammed against the keys.

**CA: i didnt exactly have ample time to prepare an elaborate fuckin coldblooded scheme seein as howw she ambushed me precisely 2.5 seconds ago and shes still wwaitin for a reply**

**CA: furthermore if you cant handle a simple last minute request perhaps I ought to suggest dualscar havve you decommissioned and put wwhere you could be more useful**

**CA: like the deep core mines back on alternia**

**CA: you knoww the ones**

**CA: wwhere its pitch black and you get nightly hugs from the giant rockborin wworms and the taskmasters get wwhips and chains and all manner of fun and motivvational toys to play wwith**

**CA: I hear you evven get a meal once or twwice a perigee too**

**TA: wow you never 2hut up do you?**

**TA: fiine ju2t tell me what the fuck iit ii2 you want me two do.**

Feeling at least obliquely victorious, the seadweller grinned and outlined a hasty plan.

**CA: i kneww youd see things my wway**

**CA: noww howws this**

**CA: if i wwant out ill take vvris up to the observvation deck and ill knock ovver one a the telescopes**

**CA: thats the signal**

**CA: then all you gotta do is fake some system emergency or an unauthorized access to my respiteblock or somethin**

**CA: somethin i gotta take care of and right that red hot fuckin second**

**TA: ok got iit.**

**TA: 2o what2 iin iit for me?**

The words on the screen scarcely seemed real. Eridan read them all three times over just to be sure he was actually seeing what he was seeing.

**CA: for you**

**CA: wwhat the hell givves you the gall to ask for somethin in return**

**CA: wwe aint strikin a bargain here you are followwin orders**

**TA: relax. dont fog up tho2e 2tylii2h 2pec2 ju2t yet. my need2 are pretty 2imple after all.**

**TA: and iif you really want two be 2ure you can 2hake mii22 caliigiinou2 congeniialiity**

**TA: ii think ii need ju2t a teen2y biit of compen2atiion.**

**TA: ii mean ii could be culled if dualscar found out after all.**

**CA: fine**

**CA: what do you evven wwant**

**CA: wwait let me guess i suppose youre gonna ask for some game or program or console or some other brightly colored vvapid bullshit for wwigglers**

**TA: dont be so pre2umptuou2.**

**TA: two game2.**

**CA: of fuckin course**

Eridan's palm struck his forehead as he gnashed his teeth and fumed.

**TA: next tiime we dock two refuel and re2tock iill 2end you a lii2t and ii want them deliivered here per2onally.**

**TA: oh and be 2ure two u2e your own liitle allowance.**

**TA: wouldnt want our dear captaiin two know youre briingiing iin contraband.**

An electric twist of ire ran down Eridan's spine and he just knew Sollux was laughing hysterically at him down in his hub. Yet he had no choice. Buying off the Helmsman was a far better humiliation than dealing with Vriska without some security.

**CA: deal**

**CA: but if you fuck this up rest assured dualscar wwill hear of this**

**TA: fiine fiine. go have fun on your liitle hate date.**

**CA: FUCK OFF**

**caligulasAquarium [CA]**** ceased trolling ****twinArmageddons [TA]**

With vengeance, Eridan closed Sollux's chat window, only to have Vriska's spring cheerily back up in its place with a long string of impatient spam.

**AG: Hey.**

**AG: Hey Eridan you still there?**

**AG: Eridan!**

**AG: ERIIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAN**

**AG: Hello!**

**AG: Heeeeeeeeelloooooooo!**

**AG: Are you ignoring me?**

**AG: You are totally ignoring me!**

**AG: Now who's treating who like shit?**

**AG: Heeeeeeeey!**

**AG: Eridum8!**

**AG: Alternia to Eridum8!**

**AG: Calling all lame hypersensitive seadwellers!**

**AG: Alternia to all infantile pouting fishlipped failures!**

**AG: The failure is you 8y the way.**

**AG: OK that's it I'm 8ored. You have exactly 8 seconds 8efore the offer to 8ury the hatchet is revoked!**

**AG: 8**

**AG: 7**

**AG: 6**

**AG: 5**

**AG: 4**

**CA: HOLY SHIT **

**CA: goddamn wwould you stop im still here**

**AG: There you are! ::::D**

He sighed, fingers leaden on his keyboard as he typed his response.

**CA: look vvris**

**CA: i gavve it some thought**

**CA: and i guess im ok wwith talkin about it a little**

**CA: so long as wwe just talk and wwe dont resort to dredgin up the past an slingin vitriol all ovver**

**CA: clean slate you knoww**

**CA: wwe got a deal**

**AG: Deal!**

**AG: Sheesh took you long enough!**

**AG: 8ut I knew you'd see things my way eventually.**

**AG: Meet me on the 8ridge in say half an hour?**

**CA: sure**

**AG: Gr8! Don't be l8!**

**arachnidsGrip [AG]****ceased trolling ****caligulasAquarium [CA]**

It was a relief to see the chat log end, but in truth Eridan felt only marginally reassured. Sollux was a desperate last resort and unreliable at best and Vriska had not once ever meant well with any of her saccharine ploys for amnesty. Still, he owed her at least one more chance, if only to please his master and prove he had gone above and beyond his call of duty attempting to be civil with her. Filled with aggravation and regret, Eridan dawdled around his respiteblock for as long as he could get away with, listening to the deafening silence of the seconds ticking away, but finally put on his scarf and cape and swept out primly to meet with his old unrequited flame.

Vriska was waiting, as promised, at the very entrance to the bridge. She stood propped against a wall in yet another skin tight, angular black waistcoat emblazoned with her symbol and matching skirt that left little to the imagination, and boots with just a peek of blue spiderweb patterned leggings clinging about her slender thighs. Her arachnid eyes flashed eagerly behind her glasses as the airlock slid open and the object of her attentions paraded in. Eridan winced as she slid like a shadow to his side and immediately snatched his arm, but looked up to see Dualscar casting him an approving grin and a nod. Beside him stood none other than an almost beaming Mindfang as they both watched. For once, both radiated pride for their charges as he was hauled out of the room, leaving all hope of escaping their rendezvous behind with the Pirate Captain and his silent vote of confidence.

Once outside and a safe distance away, Vriska cackled and threw her arm fondly over Eridan's shoulders, dragging him close.

"I'm glad you decided to show your nerdy mug after all!" she chirped.

Eridan grimaced and attempted to distance himself from the imminent emotional turmoil with his arms crossed aloofly over his chest.

"Yeah, well I owe you that much I figure. We were a pretty good team after all," he admitted.

"Damn right we were, and we can totally still be friends!"

"Definitely."

Eridan nodded once and said nothing more as they strolled leisurely through the outer corridors of the ship. Dim starlight poured into silvery puddles on the floor through the large portholes, which they passed through side by side, the very picture of two vicious up and coming highblooded pirate scourges of boundless galaxies. Passing crew bowed their heads as they passed in deference, but only Vriska took delight in watching them scurry away in fright afterward. Eridan was too focused on putting one foot in front of the other and not fleeing for his life so he could see that look of pride and admiration on Dualscar's face just once more.

"Sooo… What's the plan? We just gonna… Walk around aimlessly and talk?" Vriska asked at length.

"Wasn't that the point?" Eridan reiterated, "I mean, I figured we could just… Walk. And talk. Kinda helps to just keep movin'. Or somethin'."

Vriska shrugged.

"Works for me."

They walked in silence a while longer, both waiting awkwardly for the other to say something and Vriska's arm still draped cumbersomely over Eridan's purple swathed shoulders. She glanced at his stony face, set into his usual hard scowl with his eyes trained fiercely ahead, waiting for him to start, to say anything, or even to acknowledge her presence. The muteness persisted with ferocity. Vriska groaned loudly to shatter their awkward non-liaison.

"Sooo… I suppose I need to be the one to break the ice as usual?"

Eridan's lips tightened into a harder line, but otherwise he gave no indication he had even heard her.

"Fiiiine! Here goes then. As long as you can admit you didn't need to freak out like that, I can admit maybe I took it a little too far," she finally offered.

Eridan glanced her way at last, one eyebrow quirked. Vriska's face was bright with earnestness and glee and it was hard not to feel just a fleeting wash of their old partnership in his chest. It was just as hard to ignore the cunning double entendre in her truce.

"I… Suppose so. Maybe I did overreact a little, but you really know how to push a guy's buttons, you know?" he countered in a lighter tone, much to Vriska's delight.

"Don't I know it?" she crowed, snickering, "One of my many talents! Oh! And it's totally fine that you're a virgin by the way. It's kind of cute really! Waiting for the right Troll and all that old romantic stuff!"

Eridan felt his face heat up and his back stiffen.

"Yes well, some of us still got faith in the quadrants and that there's someone out there made for each of us," he huffed.

"Which is also totally cute," Vriska remarked.

"Damn it, I am not cute!"

"Untrue! Especially when you're mad," she quipped, leaning over and blowing hotly on his fin as she cupped her clawed hand around it.

Eridan's skin and his very being writhed with disgust and desire twisted into a hideous humor seeping through his every pore. He slapped the offending hand away and whirled around, fangs bared and yellow eyes burning hot behind his flashing spectacles.

"Stop! If we're gonna be friends you need to cut out the flirtin' with me because by renouncin' our black leanin's and treadin' into paler waters you also renounce your right to tease!" he hissed, jabbing a finger at his assailant.

Vriska held up her hands, but the grin never melted from her blue-painted lips.

"Tooouchy!" she crooned, "Alright fine you win. I'll cool it. And try to remember you can't take a damn joke. Maybe that should be my first duty as your new best friend! Teach you some humor!"

"I got a fabulous sense of humor!" Eridan protested, lifting his nose in the air and righting his scarf and cape around his shoulders after the assault, "It's just more sophisticated and refined than you dirtscrapers who'll laugh at any clod trippin' over his own business and face plantin' into a pile of manure."

"Yeah, because fish puns and landdweller digs are the pinnacle of wit and comedy," Vriska snickered to the side as she watched her affronted companion preen himself back into order, noticing one formerly absent trademark of his appearance suddenly back in its rightful place.

"Oh hey! You got your scarf back! Where'd you find it?"

It took Eridan a moment to even remember the lie he had offhandedly pitched at her to get her off the scent. Once he did, he floundered and sputtered and cleared his throat as he twisted his fingers into the soft blue fabric.

"Oh! This! Haha! Yeah I did… I- Well, you'll never believe it!" he lied flippantly, "Not a big deal."

"Try me," Vriska insisted.

"Oh…? You really-? Uh. Alright. Sure! Well, I-! It's pretty dumb really! It was er-" Eridan floundered before his mind quickly fabricated a plausible half truth, "Turns out it was… Down in the engine room!"

Vriska's brow shot up.

"The… Engine room…"

"I told you, you wouldn't believe it! But really it all made sense once I figured it out. It was… It was the Helmsman. That pissant little mutant that runs the ship thought it would be hilarious to play one of his infantile practical jokes," the seadweller elaborated without missing a beat.

"The Helmsman pinched it? Seriously? What the hell were you even doing down there?" Vriska snorted.

"I'm second in command of Neptune's Gambit ain't I? I got a right! I was down there to teach him a lesson for takin' forever to get us through a real nasty asteroid belt, and then still scrapin' up the hull somethin' awful you know? And he probably just nabbed it then. Fuckin' mustard blooded garbage. But I got him on a tight fuckin' leash now, you can be sure of that! I know just what makes him tick. I know all the right things to say and all the respect I deserve. I can play him like a damn full orchestra symphony of misery and compliance! No one else knows near how to handle him near as well as me," Eridan elaborated with pride.

Vriska grinned shrewdly, her face halfway between skeptical and impressed.

"Wow, that is something. You didn't use any of the torture devices at all? He just obeys thanks to the sheer power of your persuasion?" she ventured curiously.

Eridan blinked. Never before had he even heard mention of any kind of torture system built into the Helmsman hub and never before would he have even thought to check any of the controls. Indignant embarrassment rose hot in his gut and he turned his nose up with dismissal.

"Torture wh-? The hell are you talkin' about?" he blurted angrily before he could stop himself.

"The torture devices! You know! Come on Eridan this is basic! Every Helmsman hookup has some kind of… Disciplinary system built into it. You don't think they'd do their jobs for us so nicely with sugar on top if we didn't have SOME leverage, do you?" mirthfully sneered the other Troll.

Eridan winced, fists clenching at his sides as a stone of cold failure plummeted into his gut. Once again, his entire scheme to subdue Sollux had been completely idiotic and he had missed the obvious and crueler solution that could have spared him a lot of grief. He could just hear Dualscar's bellows and see the spittle flying from his lips as he railed in his face for failing once more. Of course, Vriska needn't be informed. All Vriska needed to know was she had overstepped her bounds.

"How do you even know about that? You filthy turncoats don't even got a Helmsman on your ship and the Condesce would sooner kneel down and lick the boots clean of every last rebel still out there then invite them in for tea and fuckin' miniature cup-loaded confectionaries than give you one!" he spat contemptuously to mask the humiliation.

"Harsh!" Vriska cackled, "Okay, okay so we don't have one. Not yet, anyway. But you don't have to have one to know how one works. I've seen it on plenty of Imperial ships before! We raided an Imperial ship once and spent a good long while interrogating their Helmsman for information until she croaked on us. It was so much fun, Mindfang had a hub commissioned on our ship for when we do get one. All kinds of wicked nasty consequences built in, you ought to come see it sometime!"

Vriska laughed raucously, reveling in her past bloodshed. Eridan flattened his fins and turned his head away.

"I see. I wasn't aware," he admitted, "However, I am far beyond a need to use anythin' that to get him to comply! The sheer magnitude of my presence is enough to make him cower! To quake and shiver to the very last sinew stringing that atrophied puppet of a body in place!"

"Sounds pretty pathetic. But then you didn't even get to fry his mutated brain on principle either! Too bad," Vriska noted, clicking her tongue.

"No. Well, not exactly. I mean… Why though? He gave my scarf back, no need to go overboard. Persuasion and leadership are a delicate balance, Vris. You can't just go dealin' out the heavy hits all the time or they don't mean nothin'. Somethin' you still gotta learn," Eridan sniffed.

"Says you. But it's still hilarious to watch them squirm! We can still do it, come on!" Vriska protested, grabbing his wrist eagerly.

Eridan recoiled, yellow eyes wide with shock.

"Wait! What!?"

"Don't be a pansy!" Vriska insisted, holding fast to his wrist with a hungry spider's grin, "We can still wreck that yellowblood for what he did. It'll be fun! Just like old times! I'll show you how all of the controls work so next time you can REALLY make him sorry!"

Eridan frowned. Sollux was his problem, his project, his secret. Up until that point, he had been the sole intruder the Helmsman deemed worthy to tangle with and their private mental and verbal sparring, not to mention the games, had been almost a pleasurable escape.

"You want to go down to-? Ah, I… I dunno," he stammered, hesitating, "I already dealt with the situation and Dualscar won't really appreci-"

"Oh screw Captain Asshole! He's too busy puffing out his gills and humiliating himself with some asinine little mating dance in front of Mindfang. Come on! I thought you'd jump at a chance to make some lowbloods squirm!" Vriska badgered, hooding her eyes, "Unless… Of course… You don't have the guts…"

She jabbed a clawed finger into Eridan's side to drive in her point. Eridan batted it firmly away, letting the rising fury wash away any reservations he had about letting Vriska into Sollux's sanctum. He would be redeemed.

"Just who do you think you're talkin' to? I'm Dualscar's right hand, in case you forgot! A'course I got the guts!" he snarled, fins flaring back up, "Fine! You wanna go? Let's go. It'll be fun, indeed. Little shit's had it comin' since he crawled his way outta the caverns and polluted the purity of our entire race!"

"Now there's the ruthless Highblood Pirate I know and love!" Vriska sang, "Lead the way!"

Eridan nodded curtly, and once more made his way down the layers of the ship and deep into the humming belly of the titan. He led his dark accomplice on what had once been a solitary flight of shame and blazed a new warpath and vengeance and righteousness for himself with blood and fire in his yellow eyes. Done would be the games and the infernal dance of wit and malice. Gone would be the derisive laughter behind his back and in its place would be the hearty mirth of the crew all around him as he retold the story at the dinner table and felt the solid clap of Dualscar's benevolent hand on his shoulder. Sollux would bow and his mended pact with Vriska would lift him back to his rightful place among the kings of his race. Determined and ruthless, Eridan marched the path to Sollux's hub and stepped into the dim electronic light haloed around him with Vriska close at his heels.

The Helmsman glanced up from his screens and smirked.

"Hey Prince Fishface, long time no-" Sollux began, the teasing grin and glee melting from his lips the moment Vriska emerged from the darkness, replaced with a dark, hard look Eridan had never seen on the sarcastic lowblood, "See… Oh, so it's Prince Fishface plus one tonight? So sorry, all my best tables are taken. You'll have to take this charming little hate date to a different location."

"Silence, freak," Vriska chided, gliding over to the control panel on the closest wall, her vicious arachnid eye flicking deftly over buttons and switches.

Sollux visibly tensed in the grip of the bioelectric tendrils binding his limbs, a faint spark of blue and red crackling around his eyes as they followed Vriska's every move.

"Careful, Vris," Eridan warned.

"Tch, it's fine. You know you can turn that silly little light show off, right? Surprised Dualscar's let him goof off this long with parlor tricks. See? This one right here."

Vriska threw a small, innocuous looking switch that caused the brief spark to instantly extinguish from the Psionic's body. Sollux grunted and sagged in his connective wires as if drained of life, growling.

"Ah… Someone who means business. Well well… To what do I owe this honor?" he jeered.

"You ought to know! Eridan let you off easy last time because he's a big softie. I won't be so kind," Vriska snickered.

Sollux's eyes flicked curiously in Eridan's direction and met his. In the desperate yellow depths he found a yearning he had yet to see on the face of his favorite antagonist. A wounded pleading hidden behind a scowl and a pinched brow and a subtle wringing of bejeweled fingers into a royal cape fitted lopsided around his shoulders. A boy whose hopes and dreams hung precariously from a single brutal peg that would all too soon collapse under the weight of it all. So simple, to crush him, to levy the ultimate mortification upon him. Yet so simple a thing to spare him and keep his pomposity and grandeur charmingly intact and their their budding, refreshingly harmless rivalry alive. The muscles in his jaw twitched, but otherwise his expression remained unchanged as he turned his dichromatic eyes back to Vriska.

"That's what you assume went down, huh?" the Psionic corrected her, "Well you're wrong. I gave the scarf back and what Eridan did to me was more than enough to keep me from doing anything like it again, trust me. I don't want any trouble. So just move right on along."

"Ohhhh. Liar liar tacky yellow jumpsuit on fire," Vrisked chided icily as she opened a green glass casing and held down the switches inside to activate the knob beside them, "You see what I'm doing, Eridan? Watch and learn. THIS is how we get what we want from our dimwitted peons."

Her words dripped with sadistic pleasure as she twisted the controls and illuminated the entire hub in bright blue energy. Sollux's eyes went wide for a split second before his entire body lurched and stiffened with his teeth set on edge and his spine arched against his restraints. Eridan's fins pricked up, curiously watching the reaction. He took a step closer, wary, cocking his head to the side.

"This was really built in the whole time..?" he pondered.

"Of course, idiot! Wouldn't that have been your first assumption?" Vriska retorted amusedly.

Eridan rolled his eyes at her, but never strayed them from watching Sollux's painfully thin frame jerk and writhe in the pink tendrils.

"You like that? Pissblood?" taunted Vriska, "Well have a little more, and perhaps afterward we'll take your feeding tubes out for a perigee or two. Maybe that'll teach you that you can't steal from people who are BETTER than you in every single fucking way imaginable!"

Cackling with dark pleasure, Vriska twisted the knob viciously, illuminating the gauge above it to the midway point. An ominous hum filled the air. Sollux's eyes flew open, but he choked back the cry of pain that clawed its way to his lips valiantly. The goggles and headpiece strapped around his skull crackled a dim but nasty hiss of white-hot vigor and he struggled with a new intensity against his bonds.

"So it's… Like a mental thing?" Eridan observed curiously.

"Of course! When you have a direct conduit into someone's brain, why not use it? We've already opened up the pathway for their Psionics to power the ship, only makes sense to use it in reverse. Too bad we can't just take over their minds completely so such a cool toy doesn't come with so much sass," Vriska replied with a sigh.

"Indeed," came the absent comment in return.

For a few moments longer Eridan watched Sollux fight back the pain with his eyes screwed shut and his jaw grinding. He bared his wicked double set of fangs in silent suffering, but never once did he allow his tormentors the satisfaction of hearing him scream. Eridan admired it, in a way, and coupled with the obtuse kindness the Helmsman had shown him only a few nights before it was enough to spark a flash of mercy.

"Well I think I've seen enough," he announced, standing straight again, "I'll keep this in mind for the future, thanks Vris."

Vriska guffawed loudly.

"What seriously? You want to stop now? The best is yet to come! Don't leave the theatre before the good part, just watch!" she commanded, and twisted her knob higher.

The dam broke, the hub pulsed with light, and Sollux could no longer rein the scream of ire that tore from his gut. He threw his head back as he thrashed and fought the psychic waves tearing at him from the inside out, turning his own mutated brain against him and bending his fragile form to its will. A thin trail of murky yellow blood leaked from his nostrils, spattering on the metal floor and startling Eridan out of a half horrified, half transfixed reverie. Vriska laughed hysterically, the only sound loud and piercing enough to resonate above the choked and gurgling screeches and the monstrous hissing and popping of bioelectrics and twisted flesh. Eridan stared, mute and petrified as the torment went on ceaselessly. Flashing blue and red eyes wrenched his direction, and in one moment he swore he saw a look of pleading, a look of betrayal and forced helplessness and a mind and body battered toward a dark precipice.

"Holy hell, Vris! Stop! That's enough! You wanna break down the whole goddamn thing?!" he cried, baring his teeth as he tore his gaze away from the ghastly sight, "He's fuckin' bleedin'!"

Vriska merely sighed dramatically.

"Don't be such a wiggler! You think I'm actually dumb enough to kill him? Please! He can take it! Unless poor widdle Ewidan is about to faint at the sight of a little bwood!" she quipped and only turned the dial higher.

The agony was wrought in tormented creases over Sollux's face. His nose flowed profusely and his ears soon followed, rivulets of yellow twisting down his neck and cutting bright swaths over his chest. The light from his own eyes and the fiery wiring flickered and cast his twisted shadows in a macabre staccato play of suffering on the walls and floor, across Eridan's face.

"Vris!" he repeated wrathfully.

She ignored him. Blood welled in Sollux's eyes and streamed like tears down his cheeks and his chest bubbled hideously as the yellow spilled over his lips.

"Knock it off, Vris, seriously!"

The deadly hum whined shriller still while taloned fingers twisted it higher, willed more pain, and predator's eyes witnessed prey wriggle and squirm in a borrowed web.

"VRIS STOP!"

Eridan's final bellow rose clarion above the din as he lunged at the control panel. Unsuspecting, Vriska's hand was easily torn from the controls and tossed aside as the seadweller plowed into her and took command. She reeled back, scowling at her friend as he shut down the device and snapped all the controls vengefully shut. The humming moaned to a mournful halt and the last scream faded on Sollux's lips. His head rolled forward, the last of the blood spattering from his lips to the floor, and he hung still, limp and lifeless and dripping yellow in the grips of his marionette tendrils. Eridan seethed through his teeth, fins wide open and cheeks flushed in fury, his eyes flashing as he whirled back on his rival pirate.

"FUCK Vris! What the fuck?! What are you tryin' to do?! Sabotage the whole fuckin' outfit? What happens if we get jumped by rebels or some other mongrels out for our blood and our fuckin' Helmsman's passed out half-dead just so you can get your rocks off?! Are you kiddin' me?! Do you ACTUALLY even know what you're fuckin' doin'?!" he roared.

Vriska held up her hands, still grinning.

"Whoa whoa easy there! Back it up! I don't have any ulterior motive! I mean it's just fun! Look at him! Twitching and flipping like a fish on a hook… You won't have any trouble from that one again!" she defended, pointing back to her handiwork.

Eridan turned over his shoulder and grimaced. His skin crawled at the sight of the dimmed hub, lights and screens silenced and dead with their master unconscious; the twisted shadowed figure at the center. Blood still dripped rhythmically and counted the seconds of silence in tinny perfect time to the pounding of the seadweller's heart in his chest.

"Serves him right, too."

Vriska's voice cut through the aftermath, lousy with smug satisfaction.

"Let's go," Eridan barked sharply as the sharp tang of blood invaded his nostrils, "We're done here."

"If you say so!" Vriska chirped, "But come on, you had to have enjoyed that at least! Eye for an eye! Right?"

Eridan clenched his jaw and offered nothing in reply. He found his arm snatched up again and his body hauled toward the exit, but his feet and limbs tingled numb. While Vriska prattled on, he looked back only once, but it was enough to see Sollux's bloodied face slowly rise in the shadows and the blue and red embers heat back to life with betrayal and hatred that burned into his mind and smoldered there long after he had emerged from the depths of the engine room and rejoined his highblooded kin on the bridge.


	10. Mea Culpa

**Author's Note: **LOOK WHO MANAGED TO GET A CHAPTER DONE EVEN ON VACATION HAHAHA! It sucks kind of a lot, but this is as good as it's gonna get I think :T And it also ended up not quite so FIXED as I had intended but we'll get to that! Poor Eridan. You just fail so hard at everything you try, don't you? Well keep trying, maybe Sollux will eventually find it charming! Enjoy this chapter, and have a happy Thanksgiving to everyone who is celebrating it this week! And as usual comments and the like are always treasured!

-Crow

**Chapter 9**

**Mea Culpa**

That night at dinner, before the duo even set foot inside the dining room, Eridan pulled Vriska aside and swore her to secrecy about their escapades in the engine room. He was still learning, he explained, and he wanted his ultimate mastery over the Helmsman to be a surprise for Dualscar later. It pained him and churned his stomach with bile, but he also added that he was infinitely grateful to her for showing him something new. It could only help him, he never could have achieved the next level with her, and he looked forward to subjugating more lowbloods by her side. He laid it on thick, stroking his friend's formidable ego enough to make her concede to keep the juicy tale to herself, as badly as she wanted to tell it. Satisfied, he even allowed entering the dining room arm in arm, and sat next to her to ensure her silence. His efforts gained him another approving smile and a clap on the shoulder from Dualscar, but otherwise the feast commenced with nothing out of the ordinary. The highbloods around the table chatted and schmoozed with their usual cruel banalities and everyone went back to ignoring him. Eridan meanwhile, could only hear the screams of agony echoing in his skull as the hot blue and red coals haunted him throughout the meal.

Sollux had done nothing wrong. He had even gone out of his way to protect him, to comfort him, to offer him a temporary sanctuary from the bloody existence of a Highblood Pirate with a belligerent mandate. And he had repaid his debt with blood. Dualscar and Vriska both would have told him to delight in the hilarity of such abject betrayal, to laugh and mock as they did, but instead Eridan was left feeling hollow and numb, every beat of his heart sending a knell of guilt to his every fiber. Sollux had even lied for him to save his face in front of Vriska, someone who had done nothing but break his heart and belittle him constantly and still, he had stood by and done nothing while she tore him apart from the inside out. Eridan had never been without a sense of honor in his plots and dealings with those below his station, despite how much it enraged his mentor, and Sollux's fate was so categorically unfair he could not even enjoy the fact Dualscar was actually smiling at him.

He had only meant to impress Vriska and stand on equal ground with her. It was only meant to be a casual reaffirmation of a friendship without any complicated feelings or turmoil. It should have been a simple observation and nothing more. But Vriska had always been compelled to go farther, to be greater, to take one step above, no matter what she had to destroy to do it. It was nowhere near an eye for an eye. He should have known better.

Vriska broke everything she touched.

It was all his fault.

Dinner ended without Eridan touching a scrap of food on his plate or even his glass of wine, but luckily no one seemed the wiser or even to care. He rose to excuse himself but Vriska intercepted him and had the audacity to part for the evening with a fond kiss on his cheek. Then as she drifted away she raised a hand in farewell and thanked him for a lovely night. Eridan held a hand over his soiled cheek as his jaw fell open and stared until he was the only one left in the glittering dining hall lit only by the oceanic blue haze of the fishtanks. He let the silence wash over him before he found the will to move again and made sure to scrub his cheek thoroughly with his palm as he stalked out, cape billowing behind him.

Disbelief and guilt morphed to anger as he marched, not to his respiteblock, but to the galley and snuck stealthily inside. Barely even stopping to consider what he was doing, he rooted around in the cabinets until he found a clean mixing bowl and some freshly washed soft dishtowels. He filled the bowl with piping hot water from the sink, tucked the towels under his arm and stole into the darkening ship, concealing himself in the shadows as all the rest of the crew crawled into their respiteblocks for the sleep cycle. Luckily he managed to avoid detection and slipped down into the engine room with no one the wiser.

The trip to Sollux's hub took him nearly twice as long to manage, however, balancing a teetering dish of steaming water and creeping ball to heel on his sneakers in some vain hope the Helmsman would be resting or miraculously unaware of his presence. When he arrived, Sollux's eyes were closed and his head lay against one of his suspended arms, yellow blood clotted and tacky down his cheeks and splattered over the twisted wires. He seemed not to notice him, even as he snuck into the unusually dim circle of light, but when he carefully set the towels onto the control panel and the bowl onto the floor the tiniest tinny disruption of the silence jerked the Psionic out of his weary stupor. His eyes fluttered open, heavy and ringed with dark circles of pain and cut two blue and yellow slits of malice into the darkness as they focused on the intruder.

"Get out."

The ragged chill of his voice made Eridan's skin prickle.

"Wait just a sec Sol, just hear me out, I didn't come to-" he began.

"I SAID GET OUT!" Sollux roared with what little strength he had left in his ragged body, gritting his teeth in pain and closing his eyes again.

Eridan held his hands out placatingly and inched closer, searching for the switch Vriska had thrown to inhibit his psychic abilities. He spotted it quickly and swallowed hard to muster his courage, touching it with one hand and keeping the other in the air unarmed and very visible while he prayed he would remain in one piece for his sacrifice.

"Easy… Easy, Sol. I come in peace, ok? Look, I'll even turn your psionics back on for you, see?" he soothed.

Sollux watched, hawklike and feral, as the seadweller flipped the switch effortlessly, true to his word. The mental clamp around his abilities released and the pressure inside his head vanished in an instant. Psionic energy flowed freely once again through his body, filled it with a static rush and reinvigorated him with the will to turn his wrath upon Eridan at once. The seadweller yelped loudly as he was enveloped in furious red and blue light, swept off his feet, and slammed hard into the wall. He dangled several precarious feet off the ground and his scarf twisted ominiously around his neck. Sollux grinned darkly as he clawed at it in panic.

"Bad choice fishbreath," he seethed vehemently.

"W-Wait stop! Sol let go! I just came to talk!" Eridan frantically corrected him.

"Like hell you did!" Sollux sibilated, "I can't believe I was stupid enough to trust you, to feel fucking SORRY for you! Well I won't make THAT mistake again, that's for damn sure!"

The scarf wound tighter around Eridan's neck.

"I-I-augh! I didn't mean for it to go that far! It wasn't my fault!" he squawked, feet kicking at the air, "It was all Vris' idea! I didn't even want to come down to this stinkin' cesspool in the first place!"

"Oh sure right yeah. A perfect opportunity to look like big beluga on board in front of your little hate crush and you didn't drag her spindly ass down here to puff up your chest and stroke your own bulge? I call gargantuan steaming crock of fresh squeezed bullshit!" Sollux shot nastily back.

"For your information, actually I looked like a total hoofbeast's ass, if you want to know the truth! I didn't know about any of those stupid buttons! She wanted to show me up! To show off like she alw-ACK!" his explanation was again cut off by a ruthless squeeze of his own scarf.

"Shut up! I should have known better than to let you stay for more than a nanosecond down here! I should have tossed you down into the refuse pit where highblood scum like you belongs and left it at that! I should have let you ROT!"

"W-Wait hold up aren't you bein' a little harsh?" Eridan pointed out, his voice gravely and strained with the pressure on his throat, "I was the one who shut off the damn system if you will recall! And I-!"

The scarf twisted so hard around his neck the yelp of pain was strangled into silence.

"I SAID SHUT UP! You traitorous lying sack of shit… I could just kill you right now. Do everyone a favor. It's not like anyone would even fucking miss you!" Sollux warned in a deadly timbre.

The wounded flinch of an unspoken truth on Eridan's face was painfully visible, even through the flush of choked purple. He quickly replaced it with a callous sneer, baring his fangs and closing his eyes.

"Hah! If that's what you think you're dumber than your fuckin' lisp would suggest! Dualscar would mourn me like nothin' this universe has ever seen! There would be no end to his sorrow and sufferin'! I am as good as his own child, I'm his heir! He loves me like peasant vermin like you DREAM about bein' loved! If you were responsible for my death he'd end you so swiftly and so powerfully the very fabric of the universe would bend! You hear me? He'd do anythin' to avenge me!" he proclaimed with the utmost ardor.

Sollux stared in disbelief, his anger fizzling with the sparks glittering around his eyes. It dissipated in a wash of frustrated pity for a willfully misguided seadweller who clearly knew very little other than his sheltered life of piracy and his own delusions of grandeur. Suddenly, punishing him for what had happened felt rather like punishing an innocent pet, ignorant of everything other than a few stern commands and the ceaseless desire for an elusive reward. Sollux sighed as he let Eridan slowly slide back down to the ground and released the hold around his neck. He inhaled sharply and began hacking for air as he clawed his scarf loose again, then turned murderous yellow eyes back up at the stooped Psionic.

"My death would come so swiftly…? Well wouldn't that be a fucking blessing," Sollux muttered, turning his luminous eyes sunken in yellow bags away.

A few more coughs and staggered gulps of air wracked the seadweller, but he composed himself and pushed up onto his knees, still glowering.

"If you wanna die so bad why don't you just do it then? You said yourself if you hack far enough into the central system it's an immediate lights out for you. It'd be easy, right?" he hissed.

Sollux went quiet a moment, lips tightening.

"I promised someone I wouldn't," came the solemn reply.

Shocked, Eridan raised his brows.

"Huh? Really? Who?" he asked briskly.

He waited for what seemed like an eternity for an answer, but Sollux refused any forthcoming. His eyes flickered in the darkness of his dungeon and his memories until he turned them hatefully on the expectant seadweller waiting, wide-eyed, for a name and a story.

"You're still here," he growled.

It was a statement, not a question.

Eridan, realizing he was not going to get a reply to his query, rose to his feet and dusted off his striped pants primly.

"Yes, it seems I am," he observed sarcastically, "I didn't just come here as a glutton for punishment you know! I came down here because I… Sort of owe you. I guess."

Sollux stared at him, his face carved in annoyed stone. Eridan swallowed hard and took a step back toward where he had set down his bowl of warm water and towels.

"Listen. You… You hid me from Vris when I was in a bad spot and you… Had a perfect opportunity to make me look like a huge idiot and you didn't, so…" he elaborated unsteadily.

He picked up his wares and held them up to show the incredulous Helmsman, an uncomfortably diplomatic expression of hope on his face.

"You must be joking."

"Dead serious. Come on, do you want to hang there stewin' in your own honey Dijon or do you want me to get you halfway presentable again?" Eridan insisted haughtily.

He waited while Sollux continued to glare at him and silently process his intentions. He could scarcely blame the yellow-blooded slave for doubting his sincerity and braced himself to be dragged clear back to his respiteblock by some highly unpleasant body part, or worse, into the garbage chute in place of acquiescence. To his surprise, Sollux sighed, sagged in his bioware, and shook his head in resignation.

"Fine, whatever. Just do it quickly, leave, and never let me see you darken my already dark and miserable door again," he finally spat.

Fins pricked up and spirits, at least momentarily, lifted, Eridan glided smoothly over to the gargantuan twist of sickly pink tentacles grafting the Psionic's body to the ship. He set the bowl of warm water down and piled the towels neatly beside it, then picked up the top one, dipped it gingerly into the still steaming liquid and wrung it out with care. Sollux was strung from the ceiling just high enough above him that Eridan was forced to put a foot experimentally atop a tentacle and scale a few up the quivering mass until he could brace himself at Sollux's side and perch himself in a loop. When he looked up, he found himself eye to eye with the Helmsman for the first time, their noses mere inches apart. The moment lingered, neither saying a word, expressions unchanged, until Eridan finally mustered the courage to lift his hand and slowly, hesitantly, lay the warm damp cloth against Sollux's bloody cheek. The Psionic recoiled sharply, as if scalded, hissing softly and forcing the other to brace himself with a scowl.

"Don't be such a wiggler. It doesn't hurt," Eridan chided.

He leaned back in and touched the towel to Sollux's face again, even gentler than before, and slowly began wiping away the crusted trails of yellow that had leaked from his eyes. Sollux relaxed, baffled by the almost tender touch from the most vicious caste of his race. At best, he had expected Eridan to toss the water in his face, scrub him down roughly and walk out feeling like his debt had been repaid in full. Yet the seadweller's touch was slow, attentive. The water soaked into the soft towel was warm and soothing, not cold and abrasive as he expected, and his ringed fingers worked with care to soak and smooth away the stubborn dried blood. Sollux watched the focused highblood so close he could see the corners of his eyes crinkle in concentration behind his glasses, smell the faint aroma of his sea breeze shampoo from the wavy purple-streaked locks, and feel the cool buffeting of his nervous breath against his neck. So much the embodiment of the savage beauty of a seadweller, but somehow untouched by the inherent cruelty they so proudly expounded. He tore his eyes away with a skeptical snarl.

"Tch. First of all, how do you even know that?" he snorted once he could find his words, "And second of all, it's been a long time since anyone's touched me, I'm not exactly accustomed to it."

"Wiggler," Eridan repeated, "And stop talkin', your lisp is even more annoyin' up close and it's gettin' spit all over my royal vestements."

Sollux rolled his eyes, but allowed Eridan to continue cleaning his face. He leaned closer to lift his soiled goggles and attend to the more delicate skin of his temple and beneath his eye and unconsciously laid his free hand on Sollux's shoulder to steady himself. They both glanced down at it, simultaneously fascinated with the respective coolness and heat of the other's body, but the moment only lasted an ephemeral second before Eridan flushed and removed the offending limb. The lowblooded warmth lingered on his palm, however, as he moved silently to the Helmsman's side to clean the blood out of his ear.

"What even is the point of all this?" Sollux asked to break the quiet, "It's only going to get you in hot shit with Dualscar, if he even finds out. And it's not like anyone gives two shits if I'm, as you so artfully put it, 'stewing in my own honey dijon'."

"I told you already! I shouldn't be surprised since your ilk always needs things explained about fifty times before it sinks in, what happened tonight wasn't fuckin' fair. I got a sense of honor you know! And you protected it, so I stopped Vris from goin' too far and now I'm cleanin' up her mess. Then we're even," Eridan replied.

"Great, so we're even, so next time you feel like blowing off a little steam you can come down here flip a switch and watch the freak dance. What a lovely arrangement this is going to be," the Psionic mumbled sarcastically.

Eridan paused and pulled back, a genuinely perplexed furrow in his brow.

"Why would I come down here to microwave your brain and jeopardize the entire fucking navigational and piloting system of the ship when I can get what I want from you with dumb games?" he asked, aghast.

Once more, Sollux found it a Sisyphean effort to process just what was coming out of Eridan's mouth.

"Because… It's what Seadwellers and Highbloods do…?" he told him with amused condescension.

"What? That's ridiculous! I don't know how many Seadwellers you've known, but any Seadwellin' Troll worth his salt would know better than to just go around beatin' the sense out of important slaves for no reason! Sure we know better than anyone in the history of the universe how to obliterate and torture and otherwise totally dominate anyone we need to, but we don't just go around doin' it for no reason! Now hold still, you got that putrid sludge that slips through your veins all in every fuckin' thin' here," Eridan answered.

He reached out and cupped Sollux's cheek in his free hand to steady his head while he cleaned out the delicate crevices in his ear. Cool, smooth fingers with deadly yellow claws brushed against his cheek and sent a shiver down Sollux's spine, both from the chill of his royal blood and for the long forgotten feeling of skin touching his that stirred for the second time a deeply buried memory.

"Hah, a benevolent Seadweller, now I've officially seen everything," he scoffed, brushing the feeling from his heart and mind.

"It's not benevolence it's called strategy, idiot," Eridan quipped back.

"Strategy huh? How's that been working out for you so far?" the Psionic mused, tipping his head to the side to allow the warm rag over his bloodstained neck.

"Shove it!" his surly companion snarled, "You don't need to use pain and fear all the time, it loses its meaning then. You know? Like if your minion always knows it's gonna be beaten, then what incentive do they got to do what you want? They should know it's ALWAYS a possibility, but they should also know they might just be rewarded. Hope always works better when dealin' with the lesser castes. They'll do anythin' for a scrap of reward."

The urge to make a comment on how Eridan sounded rather like he was describing himself rather than his compatriots nagged eagerly at the back of Sollux's mind, but he suppressed it with a smirk.

"No wonder you and our esteemed Pirate captain don't always see eye to eye," he commented loftily in its place.

The comment made Eridan's cleaning cease a moment and his hooked nose crinkle in thought before he continued.

"I'm… Different from Dualscar. In a lot of ways. Still the same in all the important ways, of course! But… I like to help lowbloods understand that they're beneath me and my kin but it don't mean we can't make our arrangements work! We can still get along! So long as you lowbloods know your place and toe the line you're useful! Sure we wanna wipe you all out eventually but while we got you around might as well make life easier!" he elaborated, closing his eyes and lifting his nose.

"Dude, that makes absolutely no fucking sense," Sollux snorted, deadpan.

"Shut up it makes perfect sense!" Eridan snapped back.

"No it doesn't, have you been asleep in class the entire time Dualscar's been mentoring you? Or too busy writing fishface plus spiderbitch equals spades in the margin of your notes? All you people do is kick people you think are beneath you around for the hell of it! It's basically Seadweller country club sport with cocktails on the side."

Eridan's fins snapped open and flared with offence, much to Sollux's private delight.

"Maybe if you weren't such a sarcastic upstart douche Dualscar and the others wouldn't feel compelled to put a little fear of their wrath in you! Ever think of that?" he jeered.

"I'm not afraid of him," Sollux retorted flippantly.

"Yeah well you should be…" Eridan added with far less fire than his verbal sparring partner expected.

His shoulders drooped and his fins slowly folded back in as he pulled away and scaled the few steps down the tentacles to clean his cloth and wring the yellow out into the bowl.

"Dualscar always says it's better to be feared than to be loved," he began again as he climbed back up with his freshened towel twisted in his ringed fingers, "But sometimes I…"

He paused and looked back into Sollux's inquisitive and, for once, silent gaze.

"Sometimes I'm not entirely sure about that. I mean he runs Neptune's Gambit with an iron fist, everyone does everythin' he says. He says jump and everyone says how high and he goes around toutin' himself like he's master of the universe or somethin' but I guarantee if this ship were goin' down the entire crew wouldn't think twice about abandonin' it like squeak creatures," he explained as he moved onto Sollux's opposite cheek.

"It's easy as shit to make people afraid of you, easy to hurt them, easy to cause pain and hatred… It's hard to make them respect you, to follow you to… Love you."

The word trailed off Eridan's tongue strangely, as if he'd rarely dared to speak it before. He cleared it from his throat and continued with gusto.

"In the end? When it really gets rough do you want an army of snivellin' cowards who'd sooner piss themselves before they laid down before the enemy just to end their pathetic existence or an army that'd gladly lay down their lives to uphold your glory and ideals? Who'll walk straight into the maw of death itself callin' your name, guns blazin' and blood pushers beatin' as one to the rhythm of your righteous conquest?"

Their eyes met again; belligerent yellow with jaded blue and red. Both screamed for respite, for one iota of congruent suffering to slip through a chink in onerous ethereal armor. And as seadweller anointed the face of lowblooded slave and spilled his innermost desires in candid proclaimations, for the first time Sollux saw past the purple silk and the puffed up fins into the briefest glimpse of something tiny and brimming with hope like the last coal smoldering among the jagged black ruins after a forest fire.

"Bah, not like a dirtscrapin' ignoramus like you would even begin to understand," Eridan shattered the silence ruefully, "No one does."

He tossed the soiled towel down to the ground and climbed down to fetch another, face bitterly pinched. Sollux observed, silent.

"I want them to bow!" he breathed ardently as he ascended once more, "But I want them to bow because I'm the greatest fuckin' pirate that ever lived and my very name causes shockwaves felt to the outermost ring of the universe, because my shadow falls across every sun that lights every quivering primordial world just opening and blinking into the light of creation! Not because I might turn around and shoot them in the face for no discernable reason afterward! I wanna do things my way, I wanna rule the way I wanna rule! I wanna make Dualscar so fuckin' proud of me but I wanna do it with my own plan! I just wanna be-!"

He stopped, for he saw the same word in the shadows across Sollux's face and knew it need not be uttered.

"Thanks for the touching soliloquy there, Troll William Shakespeare. Really. I'm moved. I'd wipe my dewy eyes but seeing as I require you to do that for me I'm pretty much taken care of. So if you're quite finished can we draw the curtains on this little melodrama and go back to the real world?" Sollux sibilated.

Shocked by the acerbic sarcasm lobbed his way after his tirade, Eridan snarled and quickly finished mopping up the yellow seeping down Sollux's neck.

"Fine."

The pads of his bare fingers grazed over the prominent sinews in his hurried carelessness, nails following and raising an electric shiver over Sollux's sallow gray skin. If Eridan noticed, he pretended not to as he wiped the last of the blood that had spilled over the bioware tentacles and hurried back down to the ground.

"Okay, done. And not a moment too soon. I'll get the hell out now," he announced.

Sollux didn't dignify such banalities with a reply, but continued to glare at him through narrowed eyes; A boy riddled with the hooks of fate and station yanking his mangled soul in every direction while his eyes could only turn to a distant sun glittering on the surface of the endless ocean. He dawdled, as if hoping perhaps he would suddenly have a change of heart. As if his gesture of amnesty had been enough to erase the betrayal and they could go back to harmless quips and co-op game playing and escaping from the brutal gauntlet of life aboard Neptune's Gambit. But the silence persisted through his clumsy cleaning and gathering up of his accouterments and hopeful gazes so Eridan set his face back into its monolith sneer, turned, and headed briskly for the exit.

"Hey… Fishface…"

Eridan paused, turning over his shoulder at the quite unexpected call.

"You seadwellers do have one thing better than the rest of us. The ability and the power to throw a giant fuck you in the face of anyone who'll attempt to stop you with the dread magic word, 'no' with some actual goddamn clout. You can choose whatever life you want. Go anywhere, do anything, be anything, no one will even try to tell you different! And if you waste that golden fucking opportunity you are infinitely more pathetic than I initially thought," Sollux lectured him, double set of fanged bared menacingly.

The highblood's gut instinct mandated levying swift wrath upon the brazen underling, but his conscious mind recognized the shred of sympathy and even jealousy in his slight. Never before had he even entertained the thought that the only person on the entire ship who felt as trapped and chained as he did, who understood wanting so desperately to be so much more than what was expected of him, would be a slave. He tore himself away from the psionic, chewing his lip.

"I… Sure, why wouldn't I..." he stammered absently, "Uh... I'd say see you later but I-"

"If I catch you down here again I will turn you inside out and hang you outside on the prow like a windsock," Sollux finished for him.

Eridan gulped and nodded firmly.

"Right. I… Bye. Sol."

The duo wasted no more platitudes on an already sour parting, and Eridan took himself swiftly out of the engine room and out of Sollux's business for the last time. By the time he made it back to his respiteblock he was certain twinArmageddons would be blocked on Trollian, his few precious games would be deleted, and a nasty virus would be left in its wake. He would have to report it to Dualscar, who would promptly verbally brutalize him, a new computer would have to be obtained, and he would go back to being nothing more than a burden and a waste of his captain's time. Everything would return to old practices and it would be as if he had never set foot that fateful night to tangle with the famed monster in the engine room, but a myth and a legend once more. Ear fins pressed hard and small against his head, his eyes watching the floor, and the bowl of yellow tinted water with the soiled towels draped over the rims secure in his white knuckle grip, he trudged out of the engine room. His body shoved the cumbersome door open dejectedly, ushering himself back out into the realm of highblooded enmity and contest, but as he slipped out the burden on the door suddenly grew lighter. It pulled away from him completely, and he stumbled into the corridor where he came dangerously close to slopping a bowl of bloody water over the boots of a towering shadowy figure.

Eridan lifted his head, and his eyes traveled up the imposing violet-clad colossus and straight to the scarred face of his mentor who was staring, horrified and incensed, at his yellow stained hands still covered in Sollux's blood.

Dualscar.


	11. Silver Linings

**Author's Note: **And now back to our regularly scheduled EriSol! Sorry for the long and unannounced haitus but CHRISTMAS FUCK let me just say that! SUPER BUSY! But now here we are with a new chapter! There's a distinct lack of Sollux and an overabundance of Eridan being a spoiled little SHIT so bear with me on this one :T I know where I'm going with this IT'S ALL IN THE PLAN! Plus if my Eridan doesn't piss you off at least once I figure I'm not writing Eridan right! Please do enjoy a long awaited update though and let me know what you think! ~Crow

**Chapter 10**

**Silver Linings**

Dualscar regarded his charge with the half confused, half enraged stupor of someone woken from a frustrating dream or interrupted in the middle of a vexing task. Eridan's jaw fell open, struck utterly mute with sheer unbridled terror.

"Eridan? What are you…?" Dualscar began harshly.

The only reply his stunned heir could manage was a string of words and phrases that made no logical sense together. Dualscar rubbed his temples and ground his jagged teeth, holding out an authoritative hand.

"Eridan, shut up! Just shut your mouth for one goddamn second! Seriously, what the actual fuck are you doing down here? And is that... Is that blood? _Yellow_ blood?" he barked.

Eridan glanced back down at the bright yellow smears of guilt all over his hands and the towels and blanched.

"I-I can explain! It isn't what it looks like!" he insisted, looking back up into the scarred face twisted with anger and skepticism, "W-Well okay it's exactly what it looks like but I got a really really compellin' reason for bein' down here, I swear!"

His brain whirred, valiantly attempting to spin some lie, some grand tale that would absolve him of guilt and spare him the blow he knew Dualscar's quivering fingers were longing to grant him. The blood rushed in his ears, his heart pounded, but the more he thought the more ridiculous his excuses became. His train of thought careened wildly about his psyche, but again and again it returned to some embellished version of the truth.

"Well? You better start blowin' my fuckin' mind with your staggerin' genius, boy, before I throttle you ten ways to next sweep for defyin' DIRECT orders to keep out of my engine room and to leave the Helmsman alone!" Dualscar seethed.

Only one escape remained open that lacked the barbs and venom of Dualscar's wrath, and Eridan knew he had to take it. Even if that meant going down a route that would once again engulf him in the caliginous mire of Vriska's obtuse affections.

"I…" Eridan began with a wince, his skin crawling, "It was because of Vris…"

The mere name of the vicious creature instantly diffused the tempest about the Captain.

"Vriska?" he inquired curiously.

Eridan shifted his eyes.

"Uh… Yeah," he lied using the moment he needed to compose himself and formulate a story to look sheepish, "I know you told me not to go muckin' around with him. But I was thinkin' maybe I did want to get back into things with Vris. We were just talkin' and the Helmsman came up and well… I thought it would be a good opportunity to show her how fuckin' bloodthirsty an ruthless I really am an' how well I'm gonna command this ship!"

Dualscar's eyes flickered and his head cocked to the side, inviting more elucidation.

"See I did a little research since I'm gonna be inheritin' Neptune's Gambit an' all," Eridan continued, puffing up his chest and closing his eyes with a roll of his wrist, "It was pretty simple! I figured out how all the controls work and how to work him over, then I thought I'd take Vris down and show off a little! Stroke her wicked black blood pusher with my conquest! Thing was…"

The charade took him over, and he looked down into the murky water left in his dish with regret.

"I didn't count on how powerful the subjugatin' tools actually were and it went a little far. I got over eager. I saw that miserable little slug twitchin' and writhin' and Vris an I were laughin' so hard I. I didn't know it would… Well…"

He shrugged, gesturing with the bloody bowl.

"I tried to clean up the mess before you saw cause I knew you didn't want me messin' with him, but-!"

Two firm hands on his shoulders halted his explanation, and he looked up into a pair of much calmer yellow eyes.

"That was a stupid fuckin' move, boy," Dualscar chided sedately, "But I understand where it comes from. And at least now that freak knows you mean business!"

The captain snorted and clapped one hand robustly on his shoulder.

"Next time, though, don't you go fuckin' with shit you don't fully understand. If you'd put him out of commission we'd all be royally fucked. You get me?"

Eridan nodded vigorously.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now off with you."

With another nod, Eridan huddled the bowl close and breezed past Dualscar and back up to his room. The same petrified breath remained in his chest, coiled around his heart and squeezing, until he was long out of sight. The captain watched him go, scarred face serene in the quiet wake of the confrontation as an inkling of wonder percolated his mind. He paid it no more heed than just a moment's speculation, and turned back on his errand down into the engine room. He, too, knew the way by heart to Sollux's hub and walked there with his brisk errand. The helmsman lifted his head curiously as he heard his master approach. For a brief moment he wondered if Eridan was returning, but the steely cold march of boots could not possibly belong to him. Only one aboard the ship walked with such cruel purpose. He recoiled in his bioware and braced himself for the coming of the tempest.

His jagged shadow preceded him into the arctic blue glow of holo screens and sickly pink tendrils. A cold chill tingled up Sollux's spine as the man followed, his fists already flexing at his sides and bloodlust in his grin.

"Long time no see, old friend," he jeered, cape swirling like violet mist around his ankles as he approached.

"Has it been that long? I could have sworn you were just down here the other night playing my ribs like a marimba," Sollux spat back.

The comment earned him a pointed punch in the flank, and he stifled the grunt of pain as Dualscar chuckled with dark glee.

"Too long indeed, it seems. You're as vile an' insubordinate as ever, I see," he mused.

"That's surprising," the Psionic hissed in reply as he recovered his breath, "Seeing as you haven't given me nearly enough subjugation to practice with."

"Hah! From what I hear my heir has been workin' you over pretty well in my stead!"

Sollux's luminous eyes flickered curiously. No sarcasm tainted Dualscar's prideful boasting, no hint he knew the truth of why his Heir had been visiting the engine room.

"Oh… So that's what that noise was all about?" he retorted carefully, "And here I was thinking I'd offended the little prince somehow. A delight, that one. Chip off the old sea sponge for sure."

Dualscar's hand flew with swift vengeance and drove hard into Sollux's gut underneath his ribs. His diaphragm lurched spasmodically and his eyes went wide as his lungs strained, desperate for a breath they refused to take.

"Silence," the highblood ordered smugly, "Good boy. Now LISTEN."

Even despite his wheezing gulpings for air, Sollux growled and bared his double fangs ferally as Dualscar grabbed his cheeks and forced him to look into his cold, cruel eyes.

"I degraded myself to come down here because I have a job for you. Mindfang is gettin' bored, as she usually does, an' I want to show her the fuck up. Hedonyx isn't too far and I noticed they're havin' a special performance of one of my favorite operas. It's sold out, of course, but I know that won't be a problem for you," he instructed.

Sollux coughed a bit and drew a shuddering breath at last.

"Right right, hack the system, take someone out and put your name in a reservation for a private box for two with wine service and the works, predictability is hardly an admirable quality in a Gamblignant, you know," he grumbled.

"Well then you'll be pleased to know actually I want a reservation for four this time. I think Eridan's earned a little respite and a chance to impress Vriska, wouldn't you agree?"

Dualscar grinned, soliciting concurrence out of his slave as if Eridan had truly tortured him within an inch of his life. Briefly, the thought of ousting the truth and shattering that smug grin on his tormentor's lips flitted through the Psionic's mind. So easily could he reveal Eridan for the embarrassment to his blood caste he proved himself to be. So easily could he deflect Dualscar's rage on his heir instead of him, but something stayed the damning confession in his throat. A snort and a callous smirk took its place as he perpetuated the ruse Eridan had set in place.

"He's finally learning to sit, stay, and roll over? My my, all these years of training have really paid off. Next thing you know he'll be fetching."

Sollux was rewarded for his continued sarcasm with a vicious punch to the face that sent him reeling in his bonds. He hissed softly as his head spun, licking yellow blood off his teeth for the second time that cycle and groaning.

"Shut your filthy lispin' noise tube and get it done," Dualscar ordered, "And set a course for Hedonyx."

"Yes, SIR," the Psionic retorted, emphasizing the lispy sounds his mouth still refused to make properly and relishing the shudder it sent through the captain.

He turned over his shoulder, cape flying after him, and promptly marched out of the engine room. Sollux swallowed the bitter taste of his own blood as he watched him go, then brought up his holo screens to begin the painfully easy task of hacking the ticket system and reassigning the best seats for Dualscar and his entourage of Highbloods.

While Dualscar and Sollux sparred, Eridan was left to hurry to the galley to dispose of the bloody water and rags. All the while his heart raced. He had no idea if Dualscar actually believed his story, or if he was down there beating the truth out of Sollux word by agonizing word. And his mentor had seen him leaving his secret sanctum and the loss of the last place on the ship to hide twisted his heart as he frantically cleaned. After he had sufficiently hidden the evidence of his transgressions he retreated to his chambers whereupon he threw himself into his chair and immediately brought up Trollian and his chat window with Sollux. He was unsurprised, but still strangely disappointed to see the last notification.

**twinArmageddons [TA]**** blocked ****caligulasAquarium [CA]**

His fins drooped and he sank in his chair, but even more devastating was the second to last notification in the chat window. At some point during his misadventures with Vriska, Sollux had transferred a file to him. He opened it and almost as quickly closed it again as he saw it was a list of game titles he had requested for his end of their agreement. Sollux had trusted him. A thin and tenuous thread of trust, but trust nevertheless. They had struck a deal and he had shattered and betrayed it in every way imaginable. The part of him that had been raised as Dualscar's heir, the highblood, the seadweller, the ruthless prince, threw its dark head back and laughed at the patheticness of it all. The other part of him, the curious and innocent soul uncorrupted by his station, the boy who believed in magic, who fell for the wondrous digital worlds Sollux had offered him a glimpse into, the lonely prince, quietly mourned the death of the only unfettered relationship ever gracing his existence.

Two halves wrestled in tumultuous duality, but the darker, angrier, jaded highblood side ultimately emerged the victor. He had no reason to feel anything but disgust. No seadweller should ever waste regret or sadness on something so repugnant. A Helmsman and a lowblood was just a slave and a peon, after all. Worse than the scum under his boots.

He swung back upright in his chair, pushed up his glasses with a malicious glint, and scoured through every last drive on his computer to delete every chat log with Sollux and any trace he had ever contacted him at all. Next came the budding file of games the Helmsman had infected his computer with, which he deleted with relish and a sense of relief. Once all traces of their strange rivalry had been obliterated he typed a few messages into the chat window, just to have the last word.

**CA: real mature of you sol**

**CA: blockin me like some sort of wwiggler havvin a temper tantrum**

**CA: wwell consider it mutual**

**CA: and noww im free of your annoyin lip flappin an these wworthless fuckin games**

**CA: next time i see you youll be bowwin that mutated think pan an beggin for your neww master to showw you some pitiful scrap a mercy**

**caligulasAquarium [CA]**** blocked ****twinArmageddons [TA]**

The last message appeared malignantly in the main chat window and Eridan clicked it closed with satisfaction. The whole ordeal was over. It was nothing, Sollux was nothing, when he thought about it. A rare lapse of judgment and a plague of curiosity that had caused his razor sharp cruel strategy to dull and soften. Now that he had seen down the dark corner of lowblood intrigue, he could set it aside and refocus on learning how to take up the mantle of The Orphaner. Dualscar had smiled at him, even looked proud, to see him covered in blood, and even Vriska had been laughing and gleeful at his side once more. Everything that had seemingly been a disaster could effortlessly be turned back around and turned into something glorious. Dualscar would place some trust in him again. Vriska would be captivated, would regret ever growing bored with him, and he could use his stumble as a leap forward into coming into his own.

Feeling once more satisfied and smug, Eridan shut down his computer, stripped out of his clothes, and crawled wearily into his recouperacoon. He spared insignificant servants no more fretting or guilt and absolved himself of culpability as he drifted off into a cold and dreamless sleep. He banished Sollux from his mind altogether for the next few cycles, busying himself with studying and training and occasionally allowing Vriska to tag along. The incident in the Engine room had decidedly piqued her attention, but it was a casual reemergence of detached interest. He could tell she was still bored and waiting for his next move in their little game, so it came as an immense relief when Dualscar finally pulled him aside to tell him they would soon be docking in Hedonyx for a night out and a play.

Hedonyx; a heralded land of splendor. Eridan had been several times at his master's side and immensely enjoyed himself each time. It was a planet filled with color and light, sound and mirth, adventure, indulgence, and boundless revelry. Over the centuries, the entirety of the small surface had been devoted to the sole purpose of the propagation of pleasure and merriment. Any luxury imaginable could be enjoyed there. From the decadent dining and the finest in art, music and theatre, to the more sinful delights of the many sumptuous brothels that catered to all from the simple thrillseekers to the truly depraved. It was also a place where Alternia's belligerent reputation was not only present, but respected, and the moment he set foot on its tender soil he had become an instant deity.

It would prove the perfect place to bask in his newfound confidence and walk with his head held high.

For the rest of the active cycle the seadweller could barely contain his excitement. Up until the moment he was summoned to Dualscar's chambers to get dressed and ready by his side he could think of little else, and the grin on his lips persisted as a rust-blooded servant with delicately coiled horns and her eyes cast in terror at the floor dressed him in his finest. The purple military coat embroidered in glittering gold and cut to display an artfully embellished Aquarius symbol over his chest sat regally on his proud shoulders as the girl meticulously buttoned it. The cape, fastened with golden epaulettes, draped around his strikingly powerful form and obscured the girl from view in the mirror as he admired himself with a grin.

"It'll be nice to get outta this fuckin' ship, it's been too long," he mused.

Nearby, Dualscar grunted in agreement as another rust-blood knelt to help him into his boots.

"Agreed."

Eridan glanced over and softened a little.

"Thanks for gettin' tickets for me an' Vris, too. I think we both need a night like this."

A slight smirk flickered over Dualscar's lips, but Eridan missed it.

"Think nothin' of it, lad. If you still got feelin's for her, black or red, either way, I'm happy to help give you the chance to explore it."

Eridan drew in a heavy breath with a chuckle as he held out his arms for cufflinks.

"Hah, thing is I don't really know anymore. Clearly caliginous waters with her are dangerous waters, but we're pretty well suited for a kismesitude. Still, obviously we get along in certain situations, so a matespritship isn't out of the question. Guess I just don't know where she stands on the whole mess."

He saw Dualscar's head bob in understanding across the dressing room at his mirror.

"Well, don't fret about it too much. You're young yet! And tonight is the night to find out! By the end it should be pretty clear where you both stand, I would imagine," he replied.

"I hope so. I really hope so," Eridan muttered as his servant girl wrapped his white cravat around his neck and tied it neatly.

"Come now, don't look so glum!" the Captain laughed, "Show some initiative! Show some PASSION. Show her that ruthless pirate she saw down in the engine room! Isn't that what started this whole affair back up again? I know you got it in you!"

His gut wrenched sickly as a flash of Sollux's anguished face and his screams tore through his memory.

"Oh… Right. Yeah. That," he muttered.

"Funny thing about blue bloods like them," Dualscar prattled on carelessly with an air of expertise, "They're used to controllin' everythin', to gettin' whatever they damn well please, so they bore easy. I mean they can literally force just about anyone or anything to do their biddin'! Key to keepin' one on the hook is to be unpredictable."

He raised a hand, knocking his cufflinks out of the grip of the servant, and he glared at her viciously as she dropped to her knees to gather them up while he continued.

"You gotta keep them guessin', keep them constantly on their toes, let 'em know that YOU are the thorn in their side an' YOU are the one that's gonna be the end of them if they don't watch their backs. Keep that vision eightfold trained solely on you so they don't even got TIME to be thinkin' of anyone or anythin' else…"

All of it Eridan had heard time and time again, but he kept his eye roll and his exasperated groan to himself.

"I know I know, but I can worry about that later, right now I just need to know where we stand and fuckin' enjoy myself for once."

"Of course! I know it'll turn out. It always does for men like us."

Both seadwellers fell silent as their slave girls put the finishing touches on their royal regalia. Eridan's completed his ensemble with a deep bow and promptly scurried out of the way so he could inspect himself. A true bastion of regality and power peered back at him from his reflection, resplendent in rich violet and sparkling gold and ever the vision of graceful brutality. He felt every bit the renewed highblood he was. Nearby, the terrified girl at Dualscar's side carefully slipped the amethyst encrusted pin of their symbol into his cravat to attach it, but pressed only just too hard and pricked his chest. He hissed in pain, cut his eyes ferociously as she exploded into apologies and held up her hands, letting the offending trimming fall between them.

The pin rang brightly and glittered on the floor as it struck, wobbled and skittered, and Dualscar waited until it had stilled before he slowly bent down and plucked it up in gloved fingers. He rose, holding it in his outstretched hand invitingly with a calm half smile on his scarred face. The trembling rust blood sputtered a few more broken apologies, but he said nothing, simply urged his hand out for her to continue. She hesitated, looking from the pin to his face and back to the pin again, but eventually she had no choice but to reach out for the jewelry once more. Her trembling digits barely brushed the amethysts when Dualscar's other hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. His deadly swift fingers closed around the pin, pivoted, and rose high in the air, driving the sharp end cleanly and viciously through the center of her palm.

The piercing scream of agony rang through the lavish dressing room, and Dualscar let her collapse to the floor without a word. He adjusted his cravat, selected another pin from the box of jewelry on the dresser, and fastened it elegantly himself as he cast a casually expectant glance at his heir.

"Shall we?"

Eridan stood, jaw hanging open, stupefied. The unlucky slave curled around her hand as hot red blood dripped on the royal purple carpeting, but dared not remove the pin from her flesh while her master still watched. Her compatriot stood in the safety of Eridan's shadow and hid the tears welling in her eyes while she waited for her moment to rush to her side. Both cowered before the might of the royal castes and silently prayed for mercy or a swift death. This was what he was, Eridan reminded himself. This is what he aspired to be. He should long to be that effortlessly cruel, to conquer both body and spirit with that much frightening finesse. There was no kindness in the world, no love for leaders, no heroes. Only fear. He smiled coldly and brushed past the felled girl in a quivering heap on the floor.

"Indeed. We can't keep Mindfang an' Vris waitin' too long."

Dualscar smiled, and ushered the younger seadweller out into the hallway ahead of him. Together they walked out toward the bridge where they would meet their companions for the evening, but as they went Eridan stole one last curious glance back on the carnage they left behind. The girl who had been dressing him immediately rushed to her friend's side and threw her arms around her, embracing her tightly. She threaded her hands into her hair and kissed her forehead, then tenderly attended to the wounded hand. Deep in his heart, Eridan felt a stir of the very thing that drew him time and time again down to Sollux's engine room. The thing that had stayed Vriska's hand and the nagging force that had driven him back to his side to wash away his sin. He brutally quashed it back down, and turned his head away with a sneer.

He was a fool for ever having believed it would be better to be loved as Captain of Neptune's Gambit. He was a fool for believing Sollux might come to respect him, or even, he dared not think it, to become a friend. The only way to rule was through fear, as Dualscar had told him long ago when he sat him on his knee, looked into his wide eyes and told him all the secrets of the universe. He walked a bit closer to his mentor and held his chin up and thought only of an enraptured Vriska at his side while the lowbloods turned their eyes away for fear of their grandeur.

Vriska and Mindfang awaited them at the bridge looking ravishing and brandishing wickedly gorgeous grins. Eridan swept up to his longtime rival and offered out his arm, taking time to appreciate the slinky black floor length dress with a slit dangerously high up her thigh and the plunging neckline. She too, ran her eyes over Eridan's handsomely dressed form and licked her blue-painted lips.

"Looking sharp, Eridumb," she teased flirtatiously as she hooked her arm through his, "But put a nice suit on a crusty old crustacean and even he'll look nice!"

He grinned back with a fire and zeal unseen since the early days of their rivalry.

"Likewise! But I suppose a black widow's only asset and weapon is really her beauty, how else would she get anyone to wander into her web?" he sniffed.

Vriska's eyes lit up as Eridan lobbed an insult in return, and she smiled at him in a radiant way he had sorely missed. The predator flushed hungrily back into her eyes and her bloodthirsty laugh rang brightly against the metal hull of Neptune's Gambit. The four of them swept grandly down the decks of the ship and to the cavernous hangar of the belly where the gangplank had already been lowered to the docking bay. It occurred to Eridan as they passed that they had to be very near the engine room that far down. He imagined Sollux could hear their footsteps and their laughter, maybe even smell the exotic perfume wafting from the deadly beauty on his arm, and he hoped he could sense how much happier he was at the conclusion of their drab little performance.

Every cloud had a silver lining, and through the Psionic tempest he had managed to rediscover his roots and remember his true purpose. He walked into the electric air, color, and music of Hedonyx amongst those who would see him lifted to his proper place instead of dragging him down through the muck and squallor into the gutters. Nothing stood in his way and nothing chained his valiant heart. This, he convinced himself as they paraded grandly down the open gangplank and into the thronging, celebratory crowd. He had Vriska on his arm, the entire universe at his fingertips, and the brightest future of any Troll that had ever had the pleasure of being hatched to such a fate.

Nothing at all could possibly ruin such a perfect evening.


	12. Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

**Author's Note: **I'd like to thank the academy and all my many years wasted grinding on World of Warcraft for the inspiration for the long awaited reunion in this chapter! This was a lot of fun to write and OH GOD SOL I MISSED WRITING YOU SO MUCH ; w ; I'm sure you all missed Sol too, so here he is! Back again! Everyone's favorite snark factory. Something has begun in this chapter, a tide of change! Please do enjoy and please drop me a line if you do!

**Chapter 11**

**Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen**

Under a velvet blue sky studded in stars and painted with luminous clouds, the theatre district came alive with color and pageantry. The air grew thick with incense and glittering confetti as the phalanx of highbloods made their way down the street to raucous fanfare from those who recognized them. Smoldering lanterns in sultry colors flickered overhead and exotic fireworks exploded in the distance. Debauchery and sin and avarice beckoned from every glassy storefront strewn with streamers and every back alley inviting only the brave and adventurous.

Eridan felt truly alive.

He and Vriska walked a few paces behind Dualscar and Mindfang, arm in arm and playfully exchanging insults and challenges and waxing exhilaration for the evening to come. Once, Dualscar even turned over his shoulder, met Eridan's gaze, and cast him an approving, almost fatherly smile. Had Vriska not been at his side, he would have let tears of joy well in his eyes. As it was, he took it and tucked that rare feeling deep away in his heart. He let it smolder and glow with a warm golden brightness that fueled his witty banter back and forth with the wicked pirate at his side.

"So, you've been here before right? What else is there to do after this snooze job we're gonna have to endure? I need something to look forward to!" Vriska inquired testily.

"I'm sure the opera won't be that bad! Dualscar did say it was his favorite," Eridan chirped with a devious grin, "Though since you're of a… Simpler persuasion, I'll be sure to translate the bigger words for you."

Vriska cackled, her heels snapping ominously on the paved street.

"Oh great! Next time I want to go out with a walking dictionary I'll know where to look. Seriously, what are we gonna do after?" she countered, reaching over and tracing a nail over Eridan's jawline enticingly, "You had better entertain me."

The seadweller shivered, and hoped the heat in his cheeks was not betrayed by any color.

"I uh… Well I don't know, I hadn't thought about that. We could go out to dinner? I suppose?" he floundered.

His companion wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Ugh. Seriously? I asked what we're going to do. Eating food is necessary to not dying like a chump, it's not doing something!" she protested.

Eridan sighed. He should have known an opera would do little to divert Vriska, as repugnantly lacking in refinement as she could frequently be.

"We could…" he mused, glancing around the environs for some kind of inspiration, "We could check out a few of these shops, try and find some of the ones off the beaten path? I bet there are all kinds of amazin' things hidden just waitin' for the right people, us, to find them and use them to their full potential!"

Secretly, Eridan harbored a lifelong intense desire to delve into the underbelly of Hedonyx's black market. Dualscar had never permitted him to go on his own, and the few times he had business there he had forced his heir to wait outside whatever shop while he conducted it. There was no telling what kind of ancient treasures and secrets he might uncover in the shady little stores hidden among the jeweled radiance of the rest of the planet. Maps to distant, extinct galaxies where noble warlike people had met their bitter ends and left their cruel craft buried in the ashes, weaponry, plans for ships faster and deadlier than anything piloted by a Psionic; the possibilities were tantalizingly endless.

"Shopping? What you wanna go find some more toys for your room? Yawn! Try again, Eridumb!" Vriska sang.

Instantly, his fantasies were shattered once more, and Eridan groaned.

"God damn it, Vris! The amusement park, then?" he suggested exasperatedly.

"Boooring! What are you, four?"

Sudden inspiration struck and excitement replaced the aura of disappointment clinging to the seadweller.

"One of the shooting or hunting ranges?" he offered, "Unless you're afraid I'll destroy you."

Vriska made snoring sounds in response. Eridan gnashed his teeth in frustration.

"Okay then miss scourge of the universe, what do you want to do?"

Vriska was pensive a moment. Her bespectacled eyes glinted as they roved the scene, hungry, predatory.

"They say you can do ANYTHING on Hedonyx, right?" she finally murmured, tightening her grip on Eridan's arm, "Absolutely anything at all?"

"Riiight…?" he affirmed, brow furrowing.

"Well I was actually thinking maybe… Since we are both eight now, adults, and in a place where we can do anything our black little blood pushers desire," Vriska continued, stroking a hand across Eridan's broad chest and toying playfully with the golden buttons, "Maybe… We could fix that little virginity problem of yours…"

The elegantly spidery fingers twisted into his cravat and tugged on it. Eridan's heart and brain both ceased to function simultaneously. His confident footfalls faltered, and his face flushed deep violet as he whirled around to look her dead in her devious eyes.

"WHAT?" he sputtered, finally finding his voice and nearly stumbling into a perfect stranger, "Are you serious? I-I… Vris I… Isn't this a little soon? I mean we don't even know what quadrant we're in and I-"

Vriska's brows shot up and her lips quirked into a crooked, nearly hysterical grin. She stifled a laugh and covered her mouth.

"Wait wait whoa hold up there, little prince!" she snorted, "You thought I meant me?"

Flabbergasted, Eridan's chest heaved as it remembered to draw breath.

"I… You were-! Well who else would you-?!" he stammered.

The laughter finally broke through Vriska's thin veil of courtesy and she threw her head back in her mirth.

"Oh my GOD! You really-?" she guffawed, "Not ME, I meant I'll find you a pretty thing at one of the brothels! While I take one for myself! DUH!"

Eridan felt his newfound manifest destiny begin to crack around the edges while the blood drained out of his face and left a dull ringing in his ears.

"You… Want to go to-?" he muttered much more meekly than he would have preferred.

"Damn right I do," Vriska purred with relish, "Who wouldn't? You can pay them to do ANYTHING. No way I'm missing out on that!"

Nothing he could think to say seemed appropriately witty or derisive, so Eridan said nothing. He swallowed the lump in his throat, trained his eyes forward, and channeled all his focus into walking a straight line as they approached the theatre.

"Well…?" Vriska urged, tugging on his arm, "What do you say? You game?"

He was far from game, but he gave a noncommittal shrug anyway.

"I don't know, I guess I'll see how I feel. I'd really rather get some target practice in, Dualscar hasn't let me have Ahab's Crosshairs in a while and I was hopin' I could borrow it tonight," he lied off the cuff.

"Suit yourself! Let's just hope this dumb little Twelfth Perigee's Eve pageant is over quick so the real fun can start!"

Vriska reattached herself to his arm, but no longer did it give Eridan the lofty satisfaction of leading his beautiful and deadly rival through the streets of the pleasure planet. More and more he began to feel like a child again, a pet, a gaudy accessory worn for sheer ironic appeal, not for any true beauty or worth. He tried to banish it from his mind as they finally reached the theatre, but the shimmering vision of a ruthless Highblood pirate had begun to show for the smoke and mirrors in his mind that it was.

And there would be no safe haven in the cool electric glow of Sollux's holo screens and sarcastic wit this time.

The grand theatre of Hedonyx towered high above the shops that surrounded it. Held aloft at the forefront by two glittering golden statues of nude figures, one holding the gleeful laughing mask to its face, the other wearing the twisted mask of tragedy and clutching it in despair, the roof rose grandly against the glowing horizon. The circular amphitheatre walls shone with iridescent light and rainbow colored streamers flew from every parapet while radiant white searchlights pierced the diamond studded darkness and announced its grandeur to the far reaches of the universe. Eridan's spirits lifted slightly. Many times had he passed by the magnificent building but never had he been inside. Being allowed to watch a play was also a rare indulgence, and he hoped the story and the music would be enough to sweep him away into another world for the night.

The lobby proved to be just as grand, if not more so, than the exterior of the house of artistic delights. Every inch of the gilded ceiling was carved in elaborate relief of winged serpents and cherubs that framed the brilliantly colored frescos in between. Crystal chandeliers cast pointillist flecks of light in every color of the spectrum over the patrons dressed in equally flamboyant and elegant garb. Dark red doors with purple velvet curtains and gold brocade served as the gateway to the inner sanctum of performance and Eridan followed Dualscar over the elaborately tiled floor to a carpeted staircase to their private box.

Boredom had already claimed Vriska, and Mindfang as well it seemed, from the way the pirate draped her sinuous body into the plush chair and heaved a heavy sigh. Dualscar took the chair beside her, looking smug and thoroughly amused at her annoyance, and Vriska breezed past Eridan to claim the next seat with a lascivious grin his way. It was obvious what she was hinting at, and he pointedly ignored it as he sat himself regally in the last throne-like chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He forced himself to make idle banter that carefully avoided several key subjects with Vriska while they waited for the lights to go down. Once they did, his lips were sealed, his legs uncrossed, and his full attention was rapt toward the stage where the sparkling red curtains opened and unveiled a world steeped in magical secrets and teeming with intrigue.

The opera unfolded to be a sweeping fantasy epic centered around a rogue wizard who prowled about on the stage in a grand cape and waved his deadly wand loaded with impressive pyrotechnics. His passionate revolution against a cruel despot ruling over his kingdom, despite once being the king's personal sorcerer, was sung in a deep, powerful baritone accompanied by lush and beautiful sets complete with very real exotic plants and animals from all over the galaxies. With his small band of rebels, he waged war against the establishment while he traveled the world and uncovered its mysteries and power. Instantly Eridan was entangled, mind and heart, with the dashing conjurer and his righteous fury. Vriska attempted once or twice to make a snide comment at normal speaking levels and draw him into ostentatious parody, but each time he barely even heard her, yellow eyes bright and flashing behind his glasses and black lips quirked in a tiny but genuine smile.

Everything about the hero rang in perfect harmony with his very soul. The way he fiercely commanded the elements and conjured spells, the way he spoke and the way his voice and his mission filled the theatre with its stirring percussion, and especially the way his misfit compatriots worshipped him, made his skin tingle and his heart race. Their quest was noble and their ideals lofty and sweeping, and when they were eventually captured by agents of the wicked ruler Eridan was genuinely distressed. However, in a stark turn of events, a beautiful and bold slave with a sharp tongue and a cynical wit to match liberated them all. The sorcerer was summarily entranced and bewitched, and refused to leave the dank prison without the roguish man at his side.

At first the slave was reluctant, bitter, but soon enough he too fell under the spell of the handsome conjurer and agreed to come with him. As their adventures continued, the flame of passion sparked and grew to a blazing inferno between them, and through adversity and triumph they cultivated a love that could move the very galaxies and rearrange the cosmos with its power. Eridan's heart swelled with an intense longing, an ache and a twist every time the forbidden lovers would embrace, an indescribable pain every time their lips would touch and their worlds would stop for just a stolen moment in the midst of chaos. Never in his life had he been embraced that way, never had anyone looked into his eyes as if their very existence depended upon him the way those two actors played the greatest lovers time had ever known.

The beauty, the purity, the intensity brought the pinpricks of tears to his eyes. He fought them back as Vriska sighed loudly and groaned beside him, reaching a foot out and kicking his ankle to get his attention.

"I'm so fucking bored," she hissed, "Like, who even writes this stuff? Are you kidding me?"

Eridan rolled his eyes and returned the shove at her ankle.

"Just watch, Vris. I'm sure it'll get better. This chump is bound to get his comeuppance soon, right?" he retorted.

"Well that's not gonna make this sappy drivel any better!" she protested, "What it really needs is…"

She trailed off as a malicious grin spread over her lips, and sat up.

"Hey, watch this," she whispered deviously.

Touching her thumb and forefinger to her temple, Vriska narrowed her eyes in concentration. Down on the stage, in the middle of a tense battle sequence, the two lead actors both seemed to twitch and jerk like puppets on a string, twirled on their heels, and ran headlong into each other. The horrified expressions on their faces said it all. Vriska cackled to herself, and further down their private box Mindfang snickered in amusement as well. Even Dualscar cracked a smirk. Only Eridan turned on her with disgust.

"VRIS!" he snapped under his breath, "What the fuck are you doin'?"

"I'm making it more interesting!"

Much to Eridan's horror, Vriska took control of another actor on stage and forced her to sing a rather vulgar rendition of what was supposed to be a desperate cry in the heat of battle. The audience shifted uncomfortably in their seats. The unfortunate performer was left so flustered she simply slipped quietly offstage in the fray. Vriska exploded into unfettered laughter and shouted a brash, 'You're all welcome!' down into the crowd below their private box. Mindfang and Dualscar laughed heartily right alongside her. Eridan stared at them mutely, the realization he had been the only one truly interested in the story and moved by it percolating maliciously into his mind. To the rest of them, it was all a joke. Like the true pinnacle of highblooded arrogance they all were, they felt more than free to intrude on the performance, to ruin everything for their own amusement, heedless of anyone else, even one of their own. One who happened to be immensely enjoying himself.

Mindfang began to join in with the psychic hijinks, and the opera disintegrated from sweeping poetry to vulgar farce. Eridan watched, utterly sick, and his anguish twisted his features.

"What's wrong, lad?" Dualscar asked at length, noting the pained expression on his charge's face, "You look as if you've been served a feast of nothin' but rancid beluga blubber."

Eridan winced, torn between feeling despair for the ruinous show and feeling guilty that he should be taking delight in the dismantling of it.

"Nothin'… I…" he began, shaking his head, "I gotta… Go. To the uh. Restroom. You know. Um. I'll be right back."

A shrug was all he received in response as he pushed quietly out of his seat and swept out of the box, cape billowing behind him through the curtains. Not one of the trio he left behind even bothered to look as he went. He hurried through the empty lobby, ignoring the curious glances of the ushers of several alien races, and burst back into the clear, fresh air of the busy street outside the theatre. Once free of the choking grip of disappointment and embarrassment, Eridan began walking and vanished into the raucous crowd still teeming thickly along the walkways and alleys.

He walked briskly and aimlessly, blind to anything but his turmoil and fury and his grand return to his roots spoiled. What was supposed to be an exercise in cruelty and callousness had once again been foiled by his own weakness, his own dedication to an ideal of honor Dualscar had once espoused to him like holy gospel that he could never seem to achieve. There was always something. Time and time again, he failed in some aspect of what his master expected him to do. Failed doomsday devices, failed battle strategy, and now the ultimate weakness in the form of sentimentality over a fictional play. He hated that he cared so much about the characters, and that they reminded him intensely of the imaginative wizard games he would play alone in his room after Dualscar had adopted him until he had been caught and lectured on the conduct of a true pirate prince.

Dualscar would never accept an heir who turned into a simpering mess of sappiness over a maudlin play about fake magic he enjoyed only for the sheer irony.

Yet he could still never seem to escape from that place deep in his heart. A place that yearned for passion, to be an exalted hero among his seadwelling kin. Nothing he loved seemed to ferry him aloft into esteem with the masters of the universe he was so desperate to impress. He was not Dualscar. His role in the universe was to replace him, but fighting so valiantly to do it on his own had left him again with nothing and no one. Alone. He was sure to get an earful for leaving the opera, for knowing with dark certainty that Vriska would never take him for anything but an amusing and pathetic plaything, and the cycle would begin all over again. Not even their Helmsman could divert him any longer now that he had destroyed any chances of controlling him through camaraderie, and in the end he would have to become like his mentor after everything. Now matter how hard he fought against the strings of fate, to take command of his life and his destiny, he always ended up staring with dead eyes into a dark future of mimicked bloodlust and solitude.

He would always be alone.

Eridan finally stopped his flight in the middle of the metal walkway, chest heaving and head spinning. He had no idea how far he had walked, or even in what direction, but at last he felt far enough away that he could stop and collect himself. Threading his way through bodies and to the wall of the nearest shop, he leaned against the cool glass of the display window and shut his eyes against the garish light of the bazaar district and the red tinge of fury. Inside the store he could hear the faint sounds of laughter and excitement, then the door a few feet away burst open with a short chord of fanfare and several youthful voices shouting in a language Eridan failed to recognize passed him by. Eridan opened his eyes and watched a gaggle of reptilian children scurry away, clutching brightly colored boxes in their clawed hands and whooping in joy. Eridan squinted to see better, and very clearly printed upon their prizes were images of spaceships, wizards, and rugged adventurers wielding impressive guns.

Video games.

Turning around and finally looking inside the shop where he sought respite, Eridan finally saw the display of all the latest and heralded games from planets all over the universe alongside cardboard cutouts of their heroes and flashing neon signs. His eyes widened, and his heart skipped an excited, illicit beat. But just as quickly the sight of the game displays reminded him of puckish blue and red eyes, the smell of ozone, and a lisp. His heart sank again. He hated to admit it, but he had loved playing the games the captive Psionic had installed on his computer. He loved sitting on the cold metal floor of the engine room and playing beside him. He even liked the playful banter back and forth. The words were acerbic and sharp, but carried no real threat or hatred. They played on an equal digital field and anything was possible, as opposed to feeling utterly futile and hopeless when it came to pleasing Dualscar.

The worlds of pixels and user interfaces had been welcoming and wide open for conquest and Eridan longed to disappear into them once again so badly it knotted his gut and sent a wave of hot dizziness over him. Dualscar had railed against them more than once. Vriska thought they were for children, for losers. But Eridan wanted them. In that moment, it was all he had ever wanted. After attempting with all his heart and being to make the evening into something his Captain would be proud of and failing abysmally, he resolved that instant to do something for himself and himself alone. The seadweller stood upright, smoothed out his cape, and marched with purpose into the game store.

The shelves were lined with hundreds of thousands of titles, stacked to the ceiling in shelves cordoned off by specific planetary standards. Tiny red-furred squirrel-like creatures in neon green uniform shirts with four keen eyes scampered up and down the displays, even across the ceiling, fetching titles for eager customers and replacing unwanted merchandise in its proper place. The Alternian grub style section was particularly ample, but there were just as many discs and cartridges and cards and strange devices Eridan had never seen in his life. He perused each section with mounting curiosity at the sheer amount of titles and variety of genres. Some had fanciful covers featuring majestic and beautiful creatures. Others displayed sleek and deadly soldiers in the heat of battle, or sometimes grungy, desperate platoons deep in the trenches. Still more showed puzzles and dungeons, even some with sickeningly cute creatures and bright pastels. Others, he discovered, had twisted and grotesque monsters and vengeful spirits, and one in particular looked very familiar.

Eridan picked it up carefully and examined the cover. Sure enough, the zombies chasing after the battered but stalwart heroes he held was the very same game Sollux invited him to play the night he'd nearly given himself up to despair. He morosely set it back on the shelf and turned away, regretting his betrayal all over again. That simple gesture had meant everything, as much as he hated to admit it to himself. If Sollux had not extended a hand of obtuse sympathy and escapism and shown him a new world where he was not alone in his feelings he would have felt nothing but blackest despair instead of the thin ray of hope the game store offered him. Sollux was the one who offered him respite from all the same confusion he felt once more. Sollux gave him back his beloved scarf when their little game of wits was over without so much as a catch or a debt. Sollux was not held to the same bloody standard he was, and Sollux was a lover of games.

Perhaps there was a way to atone for his inaction after all.

Though he had deleted the list in a fit of bravado and vengeance, Eridan had spent so long staring at it he still remembered several of the titles Sollux had asked for. He could still keep his end of the broken bargain. Even if the Helmsman withered into the spent husk he was destined to become still loathing him, he could at least be satisfied that his honor remained intact and that he had repaid the emotional debt in full. The Prince of Neptune's Gambit would be beholden to no lowblood.

With renewed vigor and hope, Eridan hurried to the Alternian compatible games and searched for the few he remembered. He found one quickly, a first person shooter that also happened to be horror and survival as well. The twisted creature baring its fangs on the box made Eridan's skin crawl, but he picked it up regardless. The second took him longer to find, but once he did he stood for several minutes staring in awe. It came in a large box adorned with fierce fantasy warriors brandishing swords and bows, and most exciting of all, staves and magic wands. Investigating further told him it was a multiplayer online game where the player created their own fully customized character with a range of abilities and infinite possibilities for physical appearance. He could be anyone, do anything, go anywhere he wanted. Without a second thought, Eridan snatched two copies of that particular game and hurried to the register where he paid with cash and rolled the games up discreetly in the bag under his arm before rushing out of the store and back toward the docks.

His flight from the theatre had left him hopelessly disoriented, and it took him a frustratingly long time before he found his way back to the docks, but he found the unmistakable violet hull of Neptune's Gambit easily. He snuck back on board with a scathing glare that told the indigo-blooded guard to keep his mouth shut under penalty of death and stole back up into the main decks. To distract attention he wound his way about a bit, making sure no one saw he was back on board or where he was headed, and when he was certain he was in the clear he made his way down to the engine room doors once more.

Never again did he expect to be pushing their bulk aside with his shoulder, or tiptoeing through the labyrinth of computer servers, hydraulic pumps, and gauges. But he ventured forth, heart racing, certain that at any moment his head would twist of its own accord, snap his neck, and leave him writhing in the last grisly moments of his life. However, fate seemed to be on his side, and no Psionic retribution stayed his nimble feet as he ran as far as he dared and hurled the two game grubs around the corner to where he knew Sollux lay in wait. He paused a moment, wondering if he should announce the payment, but the Helmsman's final threat on his life repeated in his ears and he bolted away as quickly as he had come, his own game grub clutched preciously to his chest.

No Psionic punishment fell upon his head that night, and Eridan escaped to his room blissfully unscathed. He heaved a sigh of relief once the airlock was closed behind him, feeling an airy sense of lightness in his chest and spirit that was refreshing after being buried under the crushing weight of expectation and disappointment. The game was set aside for the moment while he undressed and changed into his more comfortable long sleeved shirt with his symbol on the chest and his usual favored striped pants. However the moment he was done he checked down the hall, locked his door, and stealthily hooked the game grub up to his computer like a daring burglar.

The install dialogue popped up with much heroic fanfare and brought the enchanted smile back to the seadweller's face from earlier in the evening. His fins quivered with anticipation as he watched scenes and backgrounds from the game scroll by while the install bar slowly filled up, jeweled fingers twitching on his mouse. After what seemed an eternity of impatience, the game finally loaded. Eridan created his account, downloaded the latest patches, and launched himself into the beginning of a lush and glorious fantasy world ruled by magic and the impossible. He watched the opening cinematic in absolute rapture as it panned over the lands and glimpses of sword and sorcery wielding champions, all beckoning him to joint heir cause. When the introduction ended and he was taken to the character creation screen he found there were two factions to select from who happened to be at war with one another.

Alliances meant very little, as far as he was concerned, and he clicked through all the playable races, lifting his brows, wrinkling his nose, or outright recoiling. In the end, he selected a tall graceful Elf mage in flowing red robes and vaulted him headlong into his homeland of towering autumn forests and the arcane arts. The controls of the game were easy enough to figure out, even without Sollux's help, and before long Eridan was completing quests, reaping the rewards, and culling the local fauna with glee. Changing his initial gear, which was regal and dramatic, to the drab quest reward vestments of a low level character, however, caused him no small measure of annoyance, however the presence of impressive higher level characters in the main city reassured him he only had to bide his time before he too would be just as spectacular and more so.

The hours and levels ticked by, and before long Eridan had played well into the sleep cycle. Lost in the magical realms of the game, perfecting his character's skill and prowess, embarking on noble quests and crushing those who would resist him with his fire and ice once again gave him the intoxicating escape he craved. He almost failed to hear the sharp buzz at his airlock of a visitor. It sounded three times in rapid succession, then held the clamorous note until he ground his teeth, ushered his Elf to a safe location, and minimized the game before finally getting up and stomping to the door. He keyed in his personal code and his airlock hissed open, revealing a talk and slinky figure in a black and blue dress leaning against the frame. A set of all too familiar spidery eyes peered back at him, and blue lips curled over wicked fangs in a hungry grin as his jaw dropped in shock.

"Vris…?"

"Heeeey, I kinda missed you tonight! I was wondering where you got off to," she purred, edging her way into his chambers.

Eridan made no move to stop her, but remained aloof at his post by the door.

"I wasn't feelin' too well," he replied icily, "So I came back. How was the rest of the opera?"

Vriska prowled about the room in her striking heels, her long nails and wandering hands idly touching anything that caught her eye.

"Mmm? Oh! It was hilarious! Those two chumps both wound up dead because they were too stupid to run and save their own sorry hides!" she answered, laughing.

Eridan rolled his eyes. It was no wonder Dualscar loved the play if the slave paid for loving a royal sorcerer by death and the fallen noble paid for his betrayal of loving beneath his station. All too easy for him and the rest of them to turn a tragedy for the rest of the universe into a comedy.

"Sounds like they both got what was coming to them," he remarked emotionlessly.

"Damn straight they did, and after all that gross lovey dovey stuff it was a welcome relief! The fighting was pretty cool though, well done…" Vriska continued, making her way back to Eridan's side and cocking her head, "Still. Woulda been nice if you had stuck around."

Scoffing, the seadweller refused to even turn his head to look at his former companion.

"What? So I could get you a Seadweller discount at the brothel? No thanks. I'm sure you had plenty of fun without me."

"I didn't go."

His eyes snapped open and his head jerked up to look her dead in the eye.

"Wh-What?"

"I said I didn't go."

"Why not? That was all you could talk about while we were walkin' out! I thought you were-"

"YEAH well… Maybe I would have rather spent the night with the Eridan I saw earlier. You know, the one I USED to like," Vriska cut in, reaching out and tugging on a fin.

Eridan frowned skeptically and swatted her hand away.

"C'mon, Vris. You know as well as I do you never really liked me," he huffed.

"Oh don't say all that!" she snickered, leaning in closer, "You never know what can bloom. Black… Red… As long as you play the game right…"

Eridan's eyes went wide as Vriska came dangerously close, her pouting blue lips parting over her deadly fangs, her fingers smoothing playfully over his chest. And it was at that exact moment some mindlessly computer generated mob decided to amble directly into his character. A bestial screech and an Elven grunt of pain sounded loudly from his computer and both Trolls turned in unison to look at it. Vriska's face contorted into mirth, while Eridan shoved past her frantically and dove for the keyboard to save his poor mage from a brutal death.

"Oh my god, you were in here alone playing VIDEO GAMES all night? And here I was thinking you were actually thinking like a highblood for once! Oh, how the mighty have fallen!" she guffawed.

Despite his best efforts, Eridan's mage collapsed in a crumpled heap and expired on screen. He swore and banged his fists on the desk.

"God damn it! Vris just get the hell out! And I swear if you tell Dualscar you really WILL know what it's like to cross a seadweller!" he snarled.

Vriska only laughed harder.

"Okay okay! I get it! Don't let me intrude on your PRIVATE time. See you later, Eridumb! Have fun storming the castle!" she sang, and twirled out of his room.

Eridan was too preoccupied with getting the ghost of his unfortunate avatar back to his corpse to care about the teasing and ignored her as she went. There were far more important things to attend to; like locating all the necessary reagents of a summoning spell that would call forth an elemental to aide him in his quest to destroy an evil demon plaguing the land and vanquishing the undead menace that threatened the sophisticated Elven way of life. Long into the sleep cycle he played, until he reached a high enough level that he could venture forth into contested lands where now both wild dangers and the danger of the opposing faction loomed.

He was confident, however, that no one would dare to tangle with such an obviously powerful up and coming mage, and he made his way down the main road obliviously. His ill-fated Elf made it barely two steps out of the safety of his own lands before a ball of fire blazed straight into him, engulfed his body and decimated his health bar in a split second. Eridan's jaw dropped.

"What!? How dare you!" he bellowed at his screen, fist in the air, "You'll regret that!"

He released his spirit vengefully and made his way back to his corpse. The passing shenanigans of higher levels out to cause trouble were nothing to get riled up over. Only when he resurrected his Elf, a crackling, icy blue bolt of frost plowed into his fragile body and obliterated him in one shot all over again. Horrified, this time Eridan stared mutely as a tiny cackling creature laughed at his slain avatar and bounced atop his corpse. A Gnome. Eridan made a sound of sheer revulsion and released his spirit again. When he returned the Gnome was dancing on top of his body. Next he attempted fighting back, but every spell he slung missed its target and he was murdered unceremoniously once more. Cheeks flushing hot with anger, Eridan tried resurrecting a little further away and making a run for it. The Gnome followed on his mount, circling him, cheering at him, making jokes at him, then finally grew bored and leapt through the air in a shower of white sparks that felled him yet again.

The mouse flew haplessly across the room and shattered against the wall. A string of curses followed as he smashed enter to release his spirit and hammered in the logout hotkey until the game shut down. Thoroughly incensed and beyond exhausted, the seadweller gave up the game and crawled into his recouperacoon, swearing vengeance upon the next cycle.

When Dualscar came to fetch him for the start of their duties, he feigned illness until the gruff captain agreed to leave him be for the time being. Free and clear, he showered the sopor slime off, changed into his usual clothes and sat down at his computer. He realized with chagrin he had destroyed his mouse the evening prior, and snuck stealthily out for a new one before logging back onto the game. The mournful blue and transparent ghost of his Elf welcomed him, and he groaned as he made his way back to his corpse, confident he was free of his antagonist. He was correct. For a time, anyway. He found the camp for his faction and completed several of the quests in peace, but soon enough, a shadow fell over him and the Gnome plummeted from the sky. Same name, same glorious end game robes, same piercing laughter and instantaneous death from above.

"You have got to be shittin' me!" Eridan exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

He released and made his way back, only to find the Gnome sitting at some sort of cartoonish picnic atop his remains, happily crunching on nondescript video game foodstuffs. Fuming, Eridan refused to give him the satisfaction of ganking him again.

"Fine, we'll see who the more dedicated gamer is!" he snarled at his screen and crossed his arms over his chest to wait.

The Gnome finished eating and his picnic timer ran out. Next, to amuse himself, he pulled out some sort of mechanical toy car and drove figure eights around his prey. When that failed to coax Eridan to return the spirit to the body he took off all his gear and donned a frilly pink cosmetic dress and began dancing atop his head. Eridan puffed up his fins and his cheeks and stared down his assailant, willing his hatred to transmit through the network and into his very soul. The stalemate continued, the Gnome dancing with abandon and Eridan drumming his ringed fingers on his desk, until at last a private message in pink letters appeared at the bottom of the screen from a character name he didn't recognize.

_:[hehe you really 2uck at thii2 priince fii2hface]_

Though he had not seen it in what seemed like eternity, he knew the typing quirk in an instant.

_:[sol]_

_:[holy shit sol is this gnome asshole you]_

_:[no iit2 your 2ecret admiirer.]_

_:[ii ju2t love the way you fall flat on your a22 every tiime ii ruthle22ly 2laughter you.]_

_:[ii ju2t couldn't 2tay 2iilent any longer. ii had two let you know how ii felt and the only way ii could properly expre22 my iinten2e emotiion2 wa2 waggliing my gnomii2h 2hame globe2 over your face iin thii2 fancy a2 fuck dre22.]_

He should have been infuriated. He should have roared in fury, taken Ahab's Crosshairs straight down to the engine room and blown Sollux's computer clear through the hull and into the void of space. He should have spent the rest of the day torturing him for the sheer audacity to humiliate him in game. But instead, Eridan laughed. Soft and short, and stifled with a hand, but the half smile lingered as he replied.

_:[howwd you evven knoww it was me]_

_:[plea2e!]_

_:[you thiink ii cant 2noop around iin your game fiile2 and at lea2t fiigure out your character name?]_

_:[two ea2y.]_

He should have guessed Sollux was still messing around in his system, especially after he had essentially tossed two games right in his face.

_:[fair enough]_

_:[but i thought you blocked me and nevver wwanted to speak to me again]_

_:[howw did you put it]_

_:[ah yes]_

_:[youd turn me inside out and hang me from the proww like a wwindsock]_

_:[and ii thought you said-]_

_:[how diid you put iit?]_

_:[ah ye2.]_

_:__[game2 are a braiinless wa2te of tiime for lowblood wiiggler2 who lack the mental capaciity two be entertaiined by anythiing other than some briight color2 and flashiing liight2.]_

_:[apparently youve giiven iin two thii2 malady seeiing a2 youre pushiing level 30.]_

Sollux had a point, and Eridan snorted again.

_:[but still]_

_:[wwhy bother messagin me at all]_

_:[you coulda just hassled me until i gavve up and quit playin and had the last laugh]_

_:[true.]_

_:[but ii have a perverse fasciinatiion wiith watchiing you faiil mii2erably at everythiing you try.]_

_:[al2o becau2e ii diidnt actually expect you two liive up two your end of the bargaiin after all that.]_

_:[ii gue22 iit was 2ort of cla22y of you.]_

Eridan smiled a little brighter to himself. So his motives had not gone unnoticed after all.

_:[wwell wwell]_

_:[i see pride isnt a trait i can attribute to psionics]_

_:[iim grafted iitwo the hull of a 2hiip and all my bodiily functiion2 are regulated by tube2 and wiire2.]_

_:[all of them.]_

_:[priide went down the load gaper a long tiime ago.]_

There was no bitterness or angst hidden in the words, only Sollux's usual sarcastic take on his grisly situation.

_:[thats for sure]_

_:[but wwhyd you ask me to get another copy if you already had this decked out douchebag though]_

_:[do you really need two a2k?]_

_:[ii need two so ii can have two account2.] _

_:[gotta play both siide2 hehe.]_

_:[of fuckin course]_

The smile persisted on Eridan's lips as the last of the desolation crumbled away from his heart. He was no longer alone.

_:[now quiit lurking liike a cluckbea2t2hiit gho2t and re2urrect.]_

_:[ii have a character on thii2 factiion about your level. hang on let me grab hiim and 2how you how youre really 2uppo2ed two play thii2 game.]_

_:[al2o your gear ii2 2hiit even for thii2 level iill make you somethiing better.]_

Sollux's Gnome ceased his infernal dancing, sat down neatly on the ground and vanished as he logged out. A moment later, a dialogue box appeared with a dash of a drumroll and informed Eridan that another character had invited him to join his party. He clicked accept, and a moment later he was placed into a group with Sollux's character. He waited until he joined him, and smiled as the other Elf on screen hopped in friendly antagonistic circles around him. Once more, he slipped into a separate world of bliss. A world of imagination, of carefree creativity, and affable rivaly. All too easily he let Sollux close to him again, Sollux who teased and belittled him, but only used it to mask what he knew was a quiet acceptance of everything he was except his gaming mediocrity. Sollux expected nothing out of him other than to be perhaps a burdensome coplayer and the object of his verbal barbs. For the moment, Eridan was content to compete for highest damage rate per second and number of kills with him as they worked side by side to rid the beautiful magical world of evil.

How the mighty had fallen indeed, he mused, but occasionally the view from the gutter into the stars was so much more beautiful.


	13. Uneasy Lies the Head that Wears a Crown

**Author's Note: **Hahahah remember me? I HOPE YOU DO CAUSE I SURE DON'T HAHAH! But anyway no I haven't forgotten about this fic and I hope you all haven't either! I still love EriSol I still love this fic and I wish I could just write it all day! Anyways, I am back! With another little tidbit for you and PERHAPS a bit more of a shippy sort of chapter? IDEK but I hope you enjoy my brain vomit anyway! PLEASE DO AND ENJOY AND LEAVE ME SOME THOUGHTS IF YOU DO ; w ;!

**Chapter 12**

**Uneasy Lies the Head that Wears a Crown**

With Mindfang's vicious distractions and tantalizing curves to occupy Dualscar, Eridan was able to spend the next few days immersed in magical bliss unmolested. He and Sollux leveled up their characters side by side amidst the occasional in game prank and constant teasing, and for the first time the seadweller experienced a taste of a world where he could simply be without the oppressive weight of a crown upon his brow. He forgot all about the pirate ship he was to one day take over. Gone were any thoughts of his master's disapproving scowl on his scarred face and his harsh, rigorous punishments. He lived his free time in indulgent sloth and relished every moment of it. Even when he returned to his mundane usual duties, he began to think perhaps Dualscar wouldn't even mind his transgressions because it helped him focus and gave him something to look forward to when the long day of apprenticeship was over. Not that Eridan truly cared after the initial guilt wore off. He was certain his beloved Captain had his fair share of secrets even his heir was not privy to, and now he had one of his own. Every good Captain had to have a secret, and Eridan was content to let a budding proclivity for gaming become his. He was Prince of Neptune's Gambit, and he had every right to enjoy all the privileges that entailed.

Along with a new mental escape came also the renewed hope that in spending so much time talking to their Helmsman, he might finally find a way to win him over, and craft him into the perfect navigator and servant Dualscar never could. He renewed his resolution to study his every move and word, psychoanalyze and categorize his every quirk and idiosyncrasy in hopes of unlocking his spirit. However, the Psionic proved just as cryptic and enigmatic as ever. He deflected any serious question with sarcasm and nastiness. He was dispassionate about everything except being a fiercely oppositional, royal nuisance. Worst of all, Eridan discovered he was also prone to dramatic mood swings, and almost as frequently as he was a complete arrogant ass he could be morose, taciturn, and infuriatingly self-deprecating.

Ordering him to snap out of it as his future captain never worked, and was even less effective when Sollux was in a mood, so Eridan resorted to clandestinely allowing him to choose the game they played and losing even more spectacularly than usual. Soundly defeating him at least would bring back a glimmer of the usual Sollux he much preferred to the gloomy one. Yet all the same he still enjoyed the transformed feeling of a slate wiped clean between the two of them with a new wash of something akin to trust, or perhaps just simple comfort. The seadweller remained uncertain if the Psionic truly trusted him, or if he simply trusted that he would not do anything deliberate to hurt him again. Or at least fail miserably at it. Either way, both seemed content to have someone to insult and play games with, and Eridan in particularly was happy, at least for a while, to cast off the shackles of responsibilities and quadrants.

He was dismayed to find one cycle they all returned with a vengeance.

He and Sollux were in the midst of a particularly intense sudden death match of a game where the object was to tame wild creatures and train them to battle when a message from Dualscar instructing him to meet him on the bridge popped up on his screen. He stared at it in surprise long enough to give Sollux the edge he needed to drop his fierce seahorse creature to the ground with a vicious bee-like beast. With a less than delicate oath he brought up Sollux's chat window where he knew the textual barbs would already be flying.

**TA: you lo2e agaiin fii2hbreath!**

**TA: but ii have two giive accolade2 where they are due.**

**TA: ii diidnt thiink iit was statii2tiically po22iible two be thii2 terriible at a game but you have set a new and lofty standard for mediiocriity.**

**TA: congratulatiion2.**

**CA: ram it sidewways up your artificially regulated wwaste chute**

**CA: dualscars buggin me**

**CA: thats way more important than kickin your pathetic mustard blooded ass at this shitty game**

**TA: what really?**

**TA: what2 that old cru2tacean want?**

**TA: 2iittiing on the load gaper and need2 hii2 liittle loyal errand boy two come wiipe hiim?**

**CA: oh thanks a lot for that mental image you dirtsuckin hunk of hardwware**

**TA: you are mo2t welcome.**

Eridan scowled, but all the same hesitated in his computer chair. If Dualscar was summoning him personally it was bound to be some unpleasant task involving either Vriska or Mindfang, and he would be quite content at that moment if he never saw either cerulean-blooded temptress again. He chewed his lip, drummed his fingers, debated pretending as if he never saw the message, but ultimately decided it would be best to just heed the call.

**TA: well?**

**TA: what2 he want?**

**CA: he didnt fuckin say i gotta meet him on the bridge**

**CA: its probably a really important mission he wwants to brief me on so dont wwait up for me**

**TA: and here ii wa2 lookiing forward to siighiing and watchiing my trolliian wiindow longiingly all cycle.**

**TA: piiniing for the moment you returned to me and whii2periing your name iintwo the lonely darkne22.**

**CA: shut up ill be back wwhenevver**

Eridan changed his status to away and rose from his computer to sweep his cape over his shoulders and jam his feet into his shoes. He walked out briskly as he set his face into his usual haughty sneer and made his way to the bridge where his master awaited.

Much to his relief, he found the Captain of Neptune's Gambit very much alone at the controls with only a few of his technical crew scattered about the grand chamber at the forefront of the ship. He stood by the yawning concave window overlooking the prow, a printed report of some kind in his hands and his brow furrowed in annoyed concentration. Eridan approached him with militaristic decorum and stood by his side awaiting orders. The shrewd yellow eyes never strayed from the words they focused so intently upon. Eridan glanced uncomfortably around the bridge, unsure if Dualscar had really not noticed him or if he was simply finishing what he was doing before addressing him. Eventually, he decided to clear his throat and move one step closer to get his attention.

"Dualscar…? Sir? You uh… Wanted to see me?" he interjected, trying his best to keep annoyance out of his tone.

Dualscar's brow shot up in genuine surprise, and he whipped around to regard his heir, wide-eyed.

"Oh, Eridan!" he announced, realization percolating into his expression, "Indeed I did, my boy! Thank you for comin' so quick."

Eridan shrugged.

"Just followin' orders. What is it you wanted?" he asked, bizarrely devoid of emotion.

Noting the lack of his usual vicious enthusiasm and preemptive assumptions, Dualscar focused intently and set the report aside for the moment to face him.

"Oh, a few things," he began, frowning, "But I wanted to talk to you first…"

"Oh?"

Dualscar sighed and arranged himself as if he had scripted the encounter long ago in his mind and wanted it just so.

"Yes. You see you've been scarce, lad. Aloof. I ain't seen hide nor hair of you in ages. You miss meals, you hole up in your block, and now you come under direct orders from me an' just stand here gapin' like a guppy and not batterin' my ears with this, that, and the other about doomsday devices and treasure maps and who knows what else!" he elaborated, flourishing a frustrated hand, "You haven't been… Well YOU. In what seems like weeks! I'm just a little concerned, is all."

Eridan couldn't help but roll his eyes a little. Not only had Dualscar always dismissed his ideas in the most insulting of ways, yet suddenly missed them, as he passed he noticed a fresh, painful looking bite mark on his collar bone just visible beneath the neckline of his cape. He knew exactly where it had come from and doubted very sincerely his master had been fretting over him, let alone even thinking about him.

"I'm sure it's just because you've been busy," he answered, crossing his arms petulantly across his chest, "I'm fine."

The captain stared at him, eyes narrowed suspiciously, shaking his head as he paced away.

"Ahhh now see here's the thing! Even when I'm busy you're always haranguing me. In fact I think when I get busy you get even more insistent, like I'll get soft and give in to your daft little schemes all the easier cause I ain't payin' attention," he mused, fins quivering in thought, "Somethin's… Different. This time."

The cold grip of fear coiled its unforgiving fingers around Eridan's heart. The way his master cut his cold golden eyes at him, it was as if he were scanning his very soul for the lies he had woven there because he already knew what they were. He tried his best to hide whatever resulting expression on his face and raised his brows as if merely curious.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked acerbically.

Dualscar shrugged frostily.

"I ain't got the foggiest. You tell me…" he began, pacing back toward his heir, "What's goin' on, Eridan?"

A brief flash of fear betrayed Eridan's innermost thoughts on his face, but he tried valiantly to hide it behind a callous sneer.

"Nothin'."

"Don't give me NOTHIN' you little brinesniffin' liar…" Dualscar spat.

Luckily the epithet caused a very real scowl of annoyance behind which Eridan could continue his fabrication.

"I said it was nothin'!" he growled defensively, "And I meant it! You're just gettin' paranoid."

"Oh here we go. Fuckin' HELL, boy! PARANOIA? You really expect me to believe that after all these sweeps? After I RAISED you? AFTER I MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE? I know every goddamned thing about you!" Dualscar bellowed, his fins flaring.

Eridan shrank against the rising tide of Dualscar's infamous tempestuous rage, but held his ground.

"I…! Well! I-! OK fine it's not nothin' but it's not a big deal!" he stammered, his own fins flattened against his head.

"Not a big DEAL? Really? You think I don't know you? You think you can fool me? ME? You think you can HIDE things from me? On MY ship? I know EVERYTHING that happens here!" Dualscar railed on, pointing a ringed finger into his charge's face, "And I know EXACTLY what you've been doin'. I know why you've been holed up in your room, avoidin' the rest of us like a barnacle on a whale's BACKSIDE. I KNOW…"

All the color drained from the young prince's stupefied countenance. He could hear a dull whine in his ears as the periphery of his vision went white with abject terror and his limbs went rubbery and numb. Dualscar knew. He knew everything, and he was about to suffer the worst consequences he had ever suffered in all his short eight sweeps of existence. The magnitude of his suffering would linger in the very energy of the universe for millennia to come, yet all he could manage to do was splutter a panicked string of meaningless fragments.

"I-I-! It wasn't-! It's only-! I just-! We were only-!"

"Don't even bother, Eridan… Save yourself the humiliation. And you should have known you couldn't hide it from me forever," the captain cut in viciously.

Eridan withered, the strength and will sapped from his body. Disgrace washed over him in a dark wave, extinguishing all hope of ever atoning for his sins of cavorting with the enemy. It had been wrong all along, and worst of all, he knew it full well and had indulged himself anyway.

"I'm… I'm… Sorry… I'm sorry, Dualscar. I failed you," he breathed subserviently, falling to one knee with his head bowed and his eyes pinched shut, "I failed you…"

Never had he intended for things to go so far. Never would he have imagined his entanglement with the Helmsman would deepen instead of drift apart to casual enmity as expected of their vastly different blood castes, that he would become an escape and a comfort rather than an object of disgust, and he was wholly ashamed. Dualscar would be right to destroy him for besmirching the infamous name of their ship and his legend. He waited for the holy retribution to fall upon his head, for his world as he knew it to be obliterated around him as he watched, but nothing came. Moments passed, and all he heard was a mournful sigh from his mentor as he sagged in frustration.

"I knew it… So it is Vriska… Isn't it? I should have known you'd louse that one up, too…" Dualscar sibilated bitterly.

As he turned to put his disappointment of an heir to his back, Eridan's head snapped up in shock, eyes wide and jaw plummeting. The light seemed to return to the bridge and flood over him in a radiant torrent of relief. He had been spared.

"Wh-Vris…?" he gaped, but quickly recovered, practically leaping to his feet once he realized he had no need to grovel, "Oh, I mean… Yeah, that was… Tough. I really… Tried. I tried so hard with her, sir. But we're just not… It's just not there. Hate or love."

Dualscar turned back, and the sympathetic quirk of his lips calmed Eridan's frayed nerves even further.

"You could have just told me it didn't work out, lad," he chided in a gentler tone.

"I know… I should have. I was just afraid you'd be… Well… Furious with me. I know how much it meant to you for me to try and partner up with her," the younger seadweller replied.

"Angry? No, no, I'm not angry. Disappointed perhaps, but not angry. Well, angry you felt you had to hide it from me is all. These things happen, and it's best we all just move on. There'll be others, and you'll find someone right for you, someone WORTHY to stand at your side and shed blood under the mighty Orphaner's colors!"

"A'course," Eridan piped enthusiastically, eager to move on, "Well, now that that whole boondoggle is all cleared up and put to rest… Was there anythin' else?"

His mentor paused, a curious flicker in his golden eyes.

"Actually there was. I was thinkin' about that conversation we had after that cycle down in the engine room, after our… Disagreement," he elaborated.

Eridan winced. It was the last time they had really spoken before the Serket scourge had plagued their vessel and it had been less than pleasant. Revisiting it would be even more unpleasant.

"Oh… That? What about it…?" he inquired.

"I was thinkin'… Perhaps the reason you've been strugglin' lately really is my fault. I been leadin' you down dead-ends an' I ain't been vigilant enough, too lax. I need to trust you with more, push you farther, really test what you can do so you can grow all the more! So I decided have a mission for you. A real one," Dualscar answered.

Eridan's heart soared. In only a few moments he had gone from being convinced he was about to become a smoking crater in the metal floor to being entrusted once more with something direly important. He had been granted a precious chance to prove himself after everything he had done, after everything had gone so wrong, and redeem himself both in his master's eyes and his own. All he had ever wanted was to be like Dualscar, to make him proud, and he stood before him, willing to hand over his precious faith once more.

"Anythin'! Anythin' at all, sir! Just give the word and it's done!" he gushed.

"That's my boy!" Dualscar chortled, clapping a hand on his shoulders, "Now don't get all up and hot and bothered, it ain't the most excitin' of tasks but like I said, it's fuckin' important. See we're runnin' dangerously low on fuel."

Humble ship maintenance was certainly low on the list of responses Eridan had expected.

"Huh…?" he blurted, "Fuel? But don't we have that jumped up technofreak in the engine room to handle that? I mean isn't that sorta the fuckin' point of keepin' him around and not cullin' him like he deserves?"

"Well partially. The Helmsman takes care of pilotin' and runnin' all the programmin' and things. But we don't wanna sap any a' that energy for stupid little trivialities like keepin' the lights on and makin' sure we don't freeze in space when we need it for outmaneuverin' and outgunnin' chumps, right?" Dualscar quipped with a smug grin.

Eridan's cheeks heated up.

"Oh. Right."

"So I need you to do a little diggin' around with the scanners and anythin' else you need to find us a source of energy, then assemble an expedition and lead them out to harvest it. Think you can handle it?"

It was far from the glamorous and deadly pursuits he had been used to endeavoring in, but any chance to redeem himself to Dualscar was priceless. Vriska mattered nothing, Sollux meant nothing, it was Dualscar who had saved him, nurtured him, and taught him everything he knew, and for Dualscar he would do anything with pride and gusto.

"Yes, sir! Of course, sir! I'll find the best fuckin' batteries in the universe!" he replied brightly.

"Excellent! Get started, and I'll see you for dinner later, right?"

"Absolutely."

Eridan smiled, and for the first time in what seemed like sweeps, Dualscar returned it. He cherished the rare gesture as he bowed and swept out of the room, and made his way swiftly down to the engine room to make use of the energy scanners and hash out a course of travel with Sollux. Dualscar's eyes stayed on his back and violet cape as he went. Stoic and silent, their pitch-black pupils flashing, they narrowed shrewdly in thought for a brief moment, then turned back to the report on the ship's collective computer usage he had been scrutinizing. He stared at Eridan's station number, which had risen to the forefront of the list, but folded it up and tossed it into a nearby bin before he returned to more pressing matters and allowed his charge to complete his task.

The Prince of Neptune's Gambit flew down the decks as if his very shoes had wings and bore him to the engine room door on the winds of glory. He didn't even mind pushing into the dank, stale air and fording through the dark and foreboding labyrinth to Sollux's control hub where he knew the energy scanners were located, or the fact that he had never actually used them before and had no idea how. Nor did he mind witnessing the technological horror that was their Helmsman for the first time since the incident with Vriska. Eridan breezed in with a haughty grin on his face and his nose in the air and granted the lowblood only the most nonchalant of glances as he marched over to the controls to search for the particular machinery he needed. Behind him, the Psionic raised his brows at the rebuff and smirked a little to himself.

"Long time no see, Prince Fishface! To what do I owe the honor of this rare in person visitation?" Sollux lisped teasingly.

"Business!" Eridan spouted triumphantly without turning to look at him, "Important business! A simpleton like you wouldn't understand or care! So just go back to rearrangin' your dust carrot creatures into tableaus or doin' whatever it is you do all night down here."

"Oh, careful. Some of those dust scenes are a little erotic, I wouldn't want to upset your delicate highblooded sensibilities," Sollux replied with a click of his tongue.

Eridan shuddered at the thought.

"Ugh, as if I would debase myself to look upon your revoltin' little provincial perversions, keep your bulge to yourself thank you very much!" he sniffed.

"That was sarcasm, shit for brains."

"I knew that! The point still stands! Now stuff up that lispy fuckin' noise tube and let me concentrate!"

"On what…? Listening to figure out where the hot air is leaking out of your grotesquely swollen ego? I'll give you a hint, it's where all the rest of the shit you call logic comes o-"

"I told you it's none of your business!" Eridan cut him off before he could complete his vulgar thought.

Sollux chose to chuckle and not press the issue further in favor of casually observing the seadweller's clumsy attempts at decoding the complicated technology with which Neptune's Gambit had been equipped. His ringed fingers tentatively touched levers and experimentally flipped switches, only to frantically reverse the action when warning lights would flash on or distant ominous rumblings resounded from elsewhere on the ship. Quiet, frustrated curses in colorful and eloquent incarnations filled the dank air with amusing ire, and Sollux allowed the comedy of errors to continue for several minutes before he finally chimed in.

"You 100%, absolutely, positively, beyond a shadow of a doubt sure you don't need help?"

Eridan stopped, shoulders hunching and fingers curling into claws.

"If I needed advice from an impertinent slave with a tube rammed in every leaky orifice I would have asked for it! Now you can shut up or I can shut you up for-"

Eridan stopped himself mid-sentence, and pursed his lips and thumbed his chin in thought as he turned around.

"Actually never mind. I do need you to perform a simple task for me!" he added with a grin, "You see I have been granted the immense and glorious mission of sniffin' out some fuel to make your miserable existence a little bit easier, so you might as well aide in the amelioration of your persistent state of agony since I'll be indirectly doin' you a fuckin' favor!"

Sollux quirked an eyebrow.

"Fuel…? Like the plutonium reactors in the- Oh! You're looking for the energy scanners! You are way cold if that's what you're groping around the more delicate parts of my machinery for."

"Well obviously!" Eridan snapped, back stiffening, "I needed to check a few things beforehand! But now we can get started so I'll just…"

Trailing off as he turned back to the controls, Eridan squinted behind his thick spectacles at the miniscule writing and abbreviations on the various knobs and screens. He shifted to another one, raised his hand to turn on the monitor, but Sollux's grating voice chirped merrily from behind him.

"Cold!"

The seadweller grimaced and ground his teeth.

"I know! I was just moving!" he hissed, shuffling over to his right.

"Colder!"

"Cram it you insufferable, plebian little dirtsucker!"

Even despite the venom in his words, Eridan had no option but to follow his direction and moved left instead.

"Lukewarm now!" Sollux informed him with a snicker.

Eridan ignored the jest, but continued, letting his hands hover just above the controls as the Helmsman tauntingly guided him to the unfamiliar device he had never once utilized. All the while, however, he stole furtive glances back at the smug Psionic to ensure he was headed in the right direction.

"Warmer, getting warmer!" he sang, "Warmer waaarmer. Hot, getting really hot! Oh nope colder! Warmer again, a little warmer. Hot, very hot! Burning, sizzling! Red hot!"

Unable to endure a second more, Eridan finally exploded.

"I KNOW! I KNOW GOD DAMN IT!" he bellowed, chest heaving, "I don't need your fuckin' help! This is MY mission, Dualscar's countin' on me and I'm NOT gonna fuck this one up on account of a pissant overhyped BATTERY."

Eyes wide, teeth gnashing, and lower lid twitching, Eridan whirled back on the control panel and flipped on the first switch he could find.

"Colder."

The animalistic screech that tore from Eridan's throat infinitely pleased his tormentor. Sollux grinned a Cheshire grin unseen behind him and laughed to his heart's content while his seadwelling companion flattened his fins against his skull and scowled at his work. Eventually, Eridan found the screen surrounded by knobs and gauges that all had something to do with scanning, energy readings, and ion signatures and switched it on.

"It's about time," the Psionic chimed in.

"Shows how much you know," Eridan hissed back, "I am royalty, and royalty always does everythin' precisely when he means to! Now stand back, or rather just continue to hang there like the catch of the night, and watch the magic happen!"

The device was actually fairly simple, Eridan discovered as he fumbled his way through the settings and the calibration. It required nothing more than a search parameter, which he made sure to set out into the furthest reaches of space, and a set criterion of energy signatures which he gleefully set to 'all'. The machine flickered and whirred and a holographic map of galaxies upon galaxies materialized in the air above the search screen. Pinpoints of light color-coded to the type of radiation the source of energy emitted began to blink on, but all of them were tragically mundane. Plutonium, uranium, radium; plenty of nuclear material that Neptune's Gambit's reactor could easily convert to energy to keep it sailing the cosmic seas, so Eridan searched further. He knew in the pit of his soul that he could do better. He could find something unique, something far more powerful, something even his esteemed captain had never seen before and win the respect he craved.

Sollux watched him, curious and for once, silent, as he shifted the hologram further and further away from the current location of the ship, examining in meticulous detail every last energy reading he came across. He searched exhaustively, patiently, and from all angles with a stalwart determination even the Helmsman had to admit being impressed by, until after what seemed like an eternity flying through miniature galaxies and star clusters he chanced upon a tiny planetoid in the middle of a dangerous asteroid belt. It nearly flew by unnoticed, but as Eridan scrolled past it the surface illuminated in a deep royal purple color that had not appeared yet. He wheeled the simulation back with a gasp and quickly looked up the new hue in the guide, which read, 'Unknown Element'. Both Trolls stared in stupefied silence.

"Unknown…? Wow, even I've never seen that happen before," Sollux noted with genuine surprise.

"Really?" Eridan asked, eyes lighting up as he turned around, "That isn't a normal reading?"

Sollux smirked in return.

"You're the illustrious highblood who doesn't need any help, you tell me," he retorted.

"Of course I knew that already! I just… Needed a second opinion, doesn't hurt to gather data when you're dealing with something potentially lethally powerful!" Eridan puffed in response, lifting his nose in the air.

He turned excitedly back to his new finding, zooming in to inspect it closer. Not only was the element unknown, but the tiny planetoid also orbited a largely unmapped and rarely explored distant solar system and remained thusly unnamed. All the computer system had stored in its data was a catalog number: (222) 2II2 PN. A quick search of the internet on Sollux's browser revealed absolutely nothing about the location. Nothing in Dualscar's extensive logs, nor anything in any of his old databases had anything to say about it and as the mystery grew, so too did Eridan's euphoria. Another treasure hunt had unfolded itself tantalizingly in front of his very eyes.

"There's nothin' about this shitty little rock, NOTHIN'," he whispered in awe, "Do you know what this means, Sol?"

"Uh, we should rewind the program and find the nearest source of uranium so we can get this stupid chore over and done with as soon as fucking possible?" his companion quipped amusedly.

"No, you simpleton! An unknown energy signature on an unexplored planet? It means we have no idea what the actual fuck it is!" Eridan replied gleefully.

Forgetting his station, forgetting the difference in their blood castes, forgetting a life of piracy and blood, he turned around, the radiant light of adventure and intrigue in his yellow eyes, and a wide, giddy smile on his face. Sollux had never seen the normally pinched and uptight seadweller with the narrowed eyes, the clenched fists, and the tense jawline glow with such pure joy. He stared, lips parted with one of his many witty turns of phrase already prepared upon them, but could not muster the strength to fire one off.

"So…?" he muttered with a bemused smirk once he found his words, "I think that fact was made pretty transparent by oh I don't know, the lack of any info in the computer."

"But that's just it! I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand but! It could be anythin'! Anythin' at all! It could be some sort of new energy source! Or better yet it could be some kinda weapon with the power of a thousand slaughtered suns packed right in! Or even a new type of ship! A ship faster than light that weaves between the very atoms of the universe unseen! Or a portal to another dimension! There's no tellin' what we'll find! And who knows what the planet or even the journey'll be like! Maybe it's guarded by some ancient race of aliens sworn to defend their secret for all time! Or maybe even we'll have to solve some sort of puzzles left behind by geniuses so radiant the universe itself saw fit to snuff them out! It'll be amazin'!" Eridan continued, his chest swelling and bubbling with effervescent delight as the path of glory once again seemed to open itself before him.

And into the dank air of the prison of hardware and wire, a peal of laughter, like a long unplayed melody, rang from Eridan's lips and resonated so violently through his stony façade as to open the tiniest chink in his long reinforced armor to the stolen child lost sweeps before. Sollux bore witness to the most ephemeral of glimpses into something tangible, something tender and true, something still alive and golden at his core as he morphed for a split moment into that boy so full of awe still curled deep inside his soul and still stubbornly clinging to hope that something wondrous existed beyond the veil of bloodshed he had been born into.

"Don't you see, Sol? This could be it! Finally! The treasure I've been searchin' for my whole life since I was a wiggler! The key to everythin'! To rulin' the whole universe and bein' the pirate I always wanted to be! It could even- It could really even be somethin' mag-!"

Eridan caught himself before he said the word, the word that had been beaten out of him, sullied, and destroyed until it hurt to even think of it, and in so doing caught the Helmsman watching him with a captivated half-smile. The Prince quickly corrected his aberrant behavior by crossing his arms over his chest and scoffing. He extinguished that light shining through the fleeting crack in his righteous fury, and squared his shoulders to fit himself back into the silhouette of command.

"At any rate! It's sure to be somethin' so devastatingly amazin' Dualscar'll drop dead on the spot from shock!" he finished pompously, raising a finger into the air, "Helmsman! Set course for Planetoid 2II2 PN! That is an order!"

The grin on Sollux's lips felt refreshingly true, as well as the chuckle that followed his marching orders.

"Aye aye, Future Captain Fishface," he laughed, and pulled the coordinates from the energy scanners into his navigation system.

"Well I suppose Future Captain is better than Prince, but you will address me by my name from now on," Eridan reminded him testily.

"Fishface isn't doing it for you anymore eh? Yeah you know I guess I have worn it out a bit. Alright, how about Future Captain Saltybritches?" Sollux inquired merrily as the engines roared to life and the ship heaved onto its new path.

"Augh, what are you, two?" Eridan snarled, "At least be creative."

"Heh, really? I kinda liked that one. Okay okay, I got it. Future Captain Nautical Nookwhiffer?"

"Oh, alliterative now, charmin'."

"I thought so! Oh, how about Future Captain Barnacle Butt? Future Captain Kelp Commando! Future Captain Shiver me Shameglobes! Future Captain-"

"Enough enough! Just get us there as soon as possible! Dualscar's waitin' for my report," the seadweller finally interrupted, his arrogant gaze softening just slightly, "But… I'll be back online in a bit for a rematch on that stupid game. I'll destroy you this time, mark my words!"

He flashed a bright grin of challenge at Sollux, who returned it without malice and without resentment, only the playful promise of utter pixelated domination. With that, they parted ways once more, Eridan to the upper decks of cruelty and conquest, Sollux to the belly of the beast where he always remained, both amused and disgusted that the only ray of light into his eternal gloom seemed to be Eridan's infrequent, but always momentous visits. Only he no longer had to be so repulsed by admitting he actually looked forward to seeing him, because that night he had shown him exactly why. There was still something uncorrupted inside, an innocent ember of exploration and innovation as yet not smothered by the darkness Dualscar had poured into him, a desperate yearning for camaraderie and friendship and for someone to look at him with anything other than disappointment and coldness. Beneath all of it, perhaps, Sollux thought, something beautiful lay, something chained and bound, blind with the heavy burden of a golden jeweled crown too big for his brow around his eyes, waiting for someone to lift it so he might see the light once more.


	14. X Marks the Spot

**Author's Note: **Aaaaand now we're back! With the longest chapter to date and a VERY important and pivotal chapter as well! Not saying any more than that hehe. I had originally planned to make this MUCH longer but my very dear friends took my wrists and looked into my eyes and told me very tenderly you need to stop. So some of what I wanted in this chapter will be in the next one but THAT'S OKEY DOKEY! So please read this chapter carefully and please please do leave me a review if you enjoy!

**Chapter 13**

**X Marks the Spot**

As enthused and passionate as Eridan was about his unknown energy reading as he outlined his grand scheme, Dualscar could not hide the doubt and exasperation on his face while he endured it. Always chasing dreams, never allowing pesky reason into his adventurous plans, he knew he should have quashed everything about his heir's proposed blind sojourn into the deepest reaches of space for an unnamed planetoid the moment he bounded up to him like an over stimulated wiggler with the charts in his hands. But as always, Eridan was so zealously certain, painted such an intriguing picture of discovery and mystery, curiosity compelled him to fold. He issued the troops he would need to canvas a complete search and sat back to let the adventurous younger seadweller take the reins of his precious ship and lead the charge on the mission of his own design.

Even Neptune's Gambit, swiftest vessel in all the known galaxies, took nearly a week at full speed and through every wormhole and warp known to trollkind to shuttle her Pirate crew to the tiny planet amidst a desolate and uncharted region of remotest space with a meek, pale blue sun at the center. She watched her invaders with weary indifference as Sollux guided the ship expertly between fragments of worlds long destroyed and splotched in wild vegetation still clinging desperately to life in a thin and fractured veil of atmosphere. He picked his way through wispy clouds of glowing, smoldering gasses stringing together fragments of ancient ships forever suspended in the very moment of their deaths, and serenely orbiting asteroid belts that would have easily deterred a less skilled and less determined pilot and captain. A cold and still pall of death clung to the entire system in blackest space, deserted, depleted for untold centuries before their arrival. Both acting Captain and his Helmsman could only guess at what destruction the battered little system had known before it had been snuffed out entirely.

Stranger still, as they approached the largest landform still intact, Sollux found that many of his instruments crackled, hissed, and then gave out one by one in a shrill harmony of static and warning tones. He had no choice but to switch to manual guidance via the external vid links to bring the ship all the way to 2II2 PN. The enigmatic planetoid loomed before them in a haze of strange energy, cracked in twain with the two pieces hanging defeatedly about its own dead core. What held the slaughtered orb together was impossible to tell, but as the ship shuddered and bucked in protest of their approach, the hairs on the back of Sollux's neck stood up and his head buzzed angrily, as if the voices that had long since been silenced by the Helmsman hub's equipment were once again screaming into his deafened ears. He tried his best to ignore it and complete his job, for scanners warned him insistently the remaining atmosphere was too weak to sustain life, so he issued the order for rebreathers before he signaled to the amassed troops that docking was imminent. Eridan made certain his crew was amply outfitted with all the equipment they would need not only for survival, but hauling back the prize of whatever highly volatile material the tiny environment yielded. Then he lead them down majestically to the loading bay in the belly of the ship as Neptune's Gambit waded expertly through the misty ozone and a sea of clouds to alight upon the ashen gray surface right beside the chasm that split the entire globe in half.

The gangplank opened and slammed into the craggy terra, unleashing a veil of fog into the dim, nearly sunless sky. Eridan emerged from the mist at the head of the small battalion, cape billowing in the thin air, conquest in his bespectacled yellow eyes, and a toothy grin behind the rebreather strapped over his nose and mouth. Behind him several more shadows melted elegantly from the darkness and soon he was flanked on one side by Dualscar with Mindfang and Vriska on the other. Curious, they had both invited themselves along on the mission and for Dualscar's favor, Eridan allowed it. After them followed a small, but intrepid band of burly, blue-blooded pirates, all of them in crisp uniform, rebreathers, and lugging hovering transport carts. Together in perfect formation they marched out into the eternally twilit land and awaited orders from their acting commander.

A rush of adrenaline pumped through Eridan's royal blooded veins. Somewhere on the dusky planet covered in creeping vines the same drab color as the soil, splintered mountain ranges, and boundless deserts of ash and bone, something of the stuff of legends waited. Only space and time knew how long it had been since any living creature had set foot on 2II2 PN, or what its people had called it back in the prime of its life, or what knowledge they had taken to their graves, but he knew deep in the pith of his heart that it held a powerful secret. His nostrils flared, and the hot breath of exhilaration fogged his rebreather as he turned sharply and squared his shoulders to address his crew filled with the exhilaration of conquest.

"Alright you snivelin' bunch of bottomfeedin' slugs!" he roared, "Somewhere on this godforsaken hunk of gravel is somethin'… Of a treasure. Somethin' truly unique and special! Somethin' no one's ever seen before! Somethin' lost to the ages just waitin' for someone worthy to unleash its fury upon the cosmos once more! Somethin' waitin' for a true MASTER. Somethin' waitin' for ME."

His righteous fist clenched beside his determined face framed by his boldly displayed fins as he relished the rapt attention from his audience drinking in his impassioned rhetoric.

"Consider yourselves the luckiest bunch of unwashed guttersnipes the universe has ever seen! You got a chance to be a part of history today, ladies and gents! Not a one of us knows what the fuck we're lookin' for, all we know is that it's fuckall powerful and mysterious and none of our instruments has got a bloody clue either! So, naturally it belongs to Neptune's Gambit! Your job today is to be that fortunate bastard who stumbles ass first into it before I do! I want each and every one of you to go through every last shrub and crevice on this reject of a planet with your scannin' equipment until you find somethin', ANYTHIN'. I don't care if it's a glowin' pebble that wishes you top of the fuckin' mornin' then does a tap dance routine! I want you to radio me IMMEDIATELY! This could be the very key to our conquest, the very thing that enables us all to drink the blood of our enemies every fuckin' night for the rest of our natural lives, the thing that puts the words Neptune's Gambit and her vicious crew on the quiverin' lips of every spineless waste of flesh on every whirlin' ball of dust that dares to even masquerade as a planet! Now go out there and find it! For the glory of Neptune's Gambit! For the glory of Orphaner Dualscar! For the glory of Her Imperious Condescension!"

Eridan pumped a fist into the air, punctuating his commands with power and authority, and the resultant battle cry in return rendered him giddy as his troops poured around him like a wave of pure destruction and canvased themselves out over the dead land. They rampaged in perfect formation and fanned out in every direction, boots pounding and raising a din of subjugation into the slumbering atmosphere. Dualscar watched his charge and his marauding pirates with a vaguely proud half-smile on his scarred face, admiring, at least for the moment, Eridan's aptitude for command. Mindfang made a snide remark about him being replaced sooner than he had anticipated, but he took it as a compliment as he took her arm and led her off to explore.

Meanwhile, Eridan remained behind a moment to ensure his intrepid little battalion followed orders, but quickly took out his own energy scanner and forged ahead alone. He had always planned on going this new adventure alone, to investigate, to discover, to be with his thoughts on a desolate world to redraft his plans and his apprenticeship. He should have anticipated, he realized with dread, the swift eager footfalls and the smothering embrace from behind that accompanied Vriska's grating cackle.

"Pretty stirring speech there, cabin boy…" she crooned into his ear, her voice amplified out of the rebreather.

The seadweller swatted her off and never even granted her the satisfaction of a glance as he continued walking and calibrating his handheld energy scanner.

"Not now, Vris. Can't you see I'm leadin' an all-important expedition here?" he snapped, "Go stir the troublecrock of shit up somewhere else!"

Vriska only laughed again, and trotted after him with her combat boots crunching cheerily on the gravelly earth.

"I know! And I'm just hanging around to make sure you don't louse it up! It's actually pretty intriguing… What you found," she elaborated, hooding her eyes behind her glinting spectacles.

Eridan paused, just for a moment, and tore his concentration away from the blinking screen to glare suspiciously over his shoulder at the cerulean-blooded tease at his heels.

"Bullshit… No way you're actually interested in any of this," he decided aloud.

"Oh come ON! Yes I am! You know I have a soft spot for mysterious buried treasure! Didn't we always used to go off on our own to dig up all kinds of wicked shit? Plus, you know I'm always trying to get you to actually act like a highblood for once. Maybe you have what it takes to be a pirate after all," Vriska continued.

Only silence emanated from the seadweller she pursued as he marched onward toward the great divide of the planetoid on the map of his scanner. Vriska huffed through her nose and followed doggedly on.

"And maybe, just maybe, a proper kismesis, too!" she added with a vicious grin on her always blue lips.

Much to her satisfaction, Eridan finally stopped. He kept his eyes trained forward as his cape settled and fluttered around his ankles, sucking in a breath between his jagged teeth.

"Vris… I thought we sorta settled this before. It ain't-"

"You know the real reason it didn't work out, right?" she interjected before he could finish.

Though she received no other reply other than a slight shift of Eridan's head and a scant peek of one cold, yellow eye as he looked back over his shoulder, she gleefully took the implied invitation to elaborate.

"Simple! You didn't try hard enough!" Vriska began, circling around Eridan like a predator, "Whenever I pushed, instead of pushing back, instead of destroying me, you just took your little toys and went crying home to Dualscar. You were so wrapped up in yourself and doing what you wanted and being so CRUSHED your little doomsday devices and snipe hunts never work out, you never ONCE thought about me. Or getting BACK at me. It's always the Eridan Ampora Pity Hour starring Eridan Ampora with our very special guests, inadequacy issues and a raging Troll Napoleon Complex!"

Breath and sense both seemed to whoosh violently out of Eridan's body.

"I-" he blurted, struggling to process what exactly Vriska was even saying to him, "I-! You-! But! That's BULLSHIT! I am fully capable of pushin' back! Of one-uppin' you! YOU'RE the one who never took this rivalry serious! It was YOU who turned it into some kinda fuckin' game!"

"That's what a kismesitude IS, dumbass… A GAME. A game that doesn't work if only one person's playing, duh!" Vriska huffed in reply.

"Oh, come off it! You never played fair to begin with! It would have been one thing if you had challenged me straight up and made your feelin's clear, but you're always givin' me hints then takin' 'em away and actin' like you were never interested at all! That ain't the game, Vris! That's just you bein' a giant bitch!"

Vriska threw her head back and laughed indulgently.

"Oh, I'm a giant bitch now? That's RICH!" she chortled, "I think I made my intentions pretty fucking clear from the get go. It was ALL part of the game… You think messing with your head is off limits? Grow up, you self-obsessed, vain, pathetic little wiggler… A really pitchy kismestitude is a two-way fucking street and I just got sick to death of driving it alone!"

A flash of violet streaked before Vriska's eyes and Eridan's hand found her throat. Golden rings and sharp yellow nails bit into her flesh, but she only continued to grin as Eridan quivered with rage before her.

"Enough…" he growled, "Every single fuckin' stream of wet, sloppy shitdrivel that leaks out of that rotten, spider-fanged orifice is a lie. You NEVER wanted me. All you wanted to do was tease and watch me dangle like a fish on a hook!"

Vriska's arachnid eyes ignited with the fiery fury renewed in her old partner. She relished the black lips curled malevolently over his jagged teeth and the threatening blaze of his fins around his face and the open invitation to lob the hatred right back into his twisted face.

"Ohhh, now this is better," she hissed with delight, leaning in closer, "This I like. This is all I ever wanted! Instead of you crawling back into your little hole to sulk and cry and lick your wounds while I was left alone. FINALLY some real venom out of you!"

Yet even as she stoked the inky embers of pitchest desire into a midnight flame her vision eightfold was scanning the desolate landscape and her mind whirring. Alone on the ridge of the great divide of the planet, a singular tree still stretched its ancient limbs, famished, toward the dying sun. Its roots warped, parched and gnarled, through the cracked gray soil like brittle veins that searched blindly for respite until they had become a vast and insidious web around it. Perfect. Eridan ranted a few moments longer at her, but she heard none of it. Pinching a lush, blue lip underneath a fang, Vriska lunged toward him, eyes locked, rebreathers butting together. Mid-tirade, Eridan stepped back in surprise, but dared not break the captivating gaze even as his words petered out and died on his lips.

"Just shut up…"

He could feel the vibration of her low and treacherously sensual purr through the plastic of the masks strapped to their faces and her long and elegant fingers smoothing over his chest. His pace continued backward, and she stalked on, leading them both toward the crooked pillar of the tree.

"Fight back, for once in your pathetic life. FIGHT ME."

"I told you, I'm fuckin' done with this. Knock it off!"

The faster Eridan's heavy boots trod in reverse, the faster Vriska pursued him.

"Vris… STOP," he commanded, wincing and stumbling as his foot smashed through the brittle skeleton of some unfortunate long extinct creature half-buried in the dirt.

"We could be something amazing. We could be the most unstoppable force in the entire universe together," Vriska continued, undaunted, "Don't you want that? Don't you want to feel the way we used to? Back when we thought anything was possible and we'd be king and queen of everything?"

Her cunning words stirred the debris of their incinerated partnership from their repose at the bottom of his heart, and Eridan found it harder and harder to ignore the tiny ember of hope she breathed back into them.

"I did. Once. But I can't ever trust you again, Vris… Not after you… Threw me away," he whispered painfully.

He made the fatal mistake of allowing his boots to come to rest dangerously close to the roots jutting out of the ground and allowing Vriska to slide herself fully upon him, her hands creeping their spidery, seductive way up over his chest and neck to clasp his cheeks and the straps of his rebreather.

"Good thing you don't need to," she sneered playfully, "Now, hold your breath or open those gills of yours, fishlips."

She tugged on the straps of the breathing device once in warning. Eridan's eyes flew open wide.

"What? Holy shit what are you-!" was all he got out before she had yanked the mask around his throat.

Vriska's followed off her face, and there was no need to even gasp for a breath, for her lips ensnared his in a daring and dangerous, stolen kiss underneath the spindly boughs of a once great tree. His mind turned to panicked static. His body went numb and slack. His fins quivered and drooped as well as his eyelids as he succumbed to the wash of euphoria that rolled over his entire being and finally thought to kiss her back. Unfortunately for the enraptured seadweller, the moment Vriska felt his body turn to pliable putty in her hands one eye cracked open. It swiveled downward to make sure his feet were close enough to the roots, then closed again mirthfully as she took one step to lock him into place and broke the kiss with a grin against his lips.

"Gotcha…"

All it took was a nudge with one finger at the center of his chest to send Eridan careening back, hooking his heel firmly into a loop of root and violently upsetting his already tenuous balance. He toppled over, yelping, and landed firmly on his rear, sprawled out unceremoniously with the satchel he carried, his cape, and various other instruments for treasure hunting littered around him. Glee erupted from Vriska instantaneously, and she slipped her rebreather back over her nose and mouth as to not quite literally die of laughter.

"GOD you are SO easy to play! Like a fucking kazoo honestly! A whole CHORUS of kazoos! A four movement symphony, all made of chump kazoos!" she howled.

Eridan gawked at her, half stunned from the fall, half still in a haze from the spell she so easily spun him into. But ultimately he realized he had been played indeed, and also that breathing was becoming difficult, and readjusted his apparatus as well as he chuckled dryly.

"Hah hah… Hilarious. A prank even a wiggler would only do once before she figured out it was fuckin' dumb. Real clever. I don't know how you ever got the best of me," he growled, words soaked in sarcasm, brushing the dust off his cape and striped pants.

"Easy!" Vriska chirped as if it were a serious inquiry, "Like always, you laid down let me walk ALL over you! Back and forth like a bridge! I got bored with you because you stopped being interesting and started being desperate! You were a lot cooler when you were more Dualscar's heir and less… Well. You."

The fallen seadweller rose, majestically and proudly, from the ground, squared his shoulders, and glared defiantly at his tormentor. He did not stoop himself to gather up his things, but if he had, he would have noticed the web of cracks his fall had caused spreading ominously around his feet and the low rumble deep beneath the earth.

"And I do not give a flyin' fuck what you think," he asserted, "I may be a lot of things. A seadweller, a pirate, Alternian Royalty, the Heir Apparent… But I am still Eridan fuckin' Ampora first. And if you don't like it you can jolly well go-"

Vriska would never hear the rancorous suggestion, for before he could finish it the earth sagged under his weight and the fissures split wide open, the sound of cracking stone echoing like thunder. The crust caved and then crumbled, swallowing Eridan into its ravenous, stony maw and the gaping hole it hid. He vanished, his choked scream echoing behind him as he tumbled headlong into the unseen cavern. His hapless body bounced and scraped over stones and roots along the jagged walls, which made it less of a plummet to certain death and more of a graceless tumble right into the pit of humiliation he could already feel sinking into his gut. He yelped and swore and made the most undignified sounds of his life all the way down to the bottom where he landed face down, cape flopped comically over his head, with a resounding thud and lay still.

As the dust and the violent collapse settled, Vriska trotted back and peered down the chasm into which her companion had fallen. Debris rained down gently over his purple-swathed figure half-buried in soil and twigs, but he did not stir.

"Eridan! Hey! Hey Eridan! If you're dead that's literally the dumbest way to die I have EVER seen!" she hollered down the pit.

Her voice penetrated the dazed haze of darkness clinging to Eridan's senses and quaked it loose with the violent shudder down his spine. The temporary unconsciousness fled quickly as he pushed himself up from the ground and swatted his errant cape back into place, wincing as his battered body protested and screamed with every tiny movement. Something warm trickled over his forehead and when he touched it, he swore as his fingers came away covered in violet. He slumped back onto his haunches, rolled his aching neck, and rubbed the back of it with a hand as he squinted up into the dim ring of light above where he could just see the dark outline of Vriska's face.

"Aren't you a little old to be digging holes to the other sides of planets? That doesn't actually work you know!" she teased.

"Yes, Vris! I'm alright, as a matter of actual fact! Thanks so FUCKIN' much for askin'!" he sibilated in return.

She only laughed as he groped around for the glasses that had flown off his face, but mercifully remained unbroken, painstakingly rose to his feet, readjusted his rebreather and began looking for a way back up.

"Only you, I swear! You have the WORST luck when it comes to this stuff! If it's not blowing up in your face or ruining something expensive it's just you running around like a screeching moron preaching adventure and conquest and only causing problems for everyone involved!"

"Like you didn't know it was there!" Eridan fired back as he clambered messily up a few exposed tree roots, only to lose his grip and slide back down to where he started.

"Hey now, I only wanted to trip you up and make you look like a tool, I didn't know there was some ancient alien booby trap under this shitty tree! You found that all on your own! Hey!" Vriska sang, her eyes lighting up with mocking inspiration, "Maybe that should be your new job! Official booby trap springer! Something you're actually good at! We did it, Eridan! We found your true calling!"

"Hah hah, yes, Vris. You've done it. That's the answer to every question I ever had about my life. You've discovered my destiny, my path in life. I have seen the light of creation and stared unblinkingly into its molten depths of truth. How can I ever repay you?" he sneered, "Now help me get the FUCK out of here!"

Eridan made another desperate clamber up the side of the shaft, but only got a few roots higher before they snapped in his hands and he slid back down to the bottom, fingers clawing trails in the walls.

"Vris! Dammit get a rope or SOMETHING!" he bellowed up at her backlit shadow.

It vanished out of the ring of light.

"Vris…?"

"Nah, I don't think I can help you! Not really my forte!" her disembodied voice chimed, "You should probably just stay down there and check to see if there are any more booby traps. For the good of the crew, you know! You'd just slow me and all the rest of the _real_ pirates down, anyway!"

Eridan felt the blood drain out of his face.

"You wouldn't dare…" he warned breathlessly, "You fuckin' BITCH. You wouldn't DARE leave me down here! That's reprehensible, even for you!"

"I KNOW, isn't it? Hehe! I'm sure Dualscar will come rescue you later like he always does! So don't worry! Have fun! See you later, Eridumb!" was the last thing Eridan heard before the distant beat of Vriska's boots as they pranced away.

"Oh no fuckin' way… Vris? VRIS! GET YOUR WORTHLESS ASS BACK HERE! VRIS! VRIS!"

He shouted and railed for only a short while, raising his voice into the dead air of a dead planet and reaping only the mournful whistle of wind across the mouth of his prison. Then in a stroke of agonizing nostalgia, he remembered who his ex-kismesis was, and realized no help would come until someone noticed he was missing. Knowing Dualscar and Mindfang; he was on his own. Steeling his resolve and his smoldering anger, he hoisted himself up along the roots and the stones once again and began scaling the summit of the hole. He climbed more slowly, and more carefully, but the hole plunged so deep and the walls rose so menacingly sheer his muscles quivered, sweat beaded on his bloodied brow, and every time he was barely halfway out his body ceased to obey him and he toppled back down to the floor.

Again and again he tried, until his hands were raw and violet with blood and caked with dirt. He climbed until his lungs burned with exhaustion and his limbs slowed leadenly. He attempted using some shards of rock as picks where footholds thinned to nearly nothing, but they sliced through the glittering silver mica and sent him reeling backwards into space. He collapsed one final time onto his back, a halo of pale blue light around his defeated body, and pounded the ground with his fists in a silent rage over his grand design utterly spoiled. Then he laid still, violet tears of frustration stinging at his eyes and then streaking over his temples in the deafening silence.

It was only then did Eridan notice the bottom of his pit was not quite just the bottom of a pit.

Through a curtain of twisted roots, a faint breeze wafted over his clammy face he had been too enraged to notice before. It drew his weary-lidded eyes curiously up to behold the nearly invisible remains of a stone archway with strange writing carved into it. Immediately, he flipped over onto his stomach and hauled himself up onto his knees. His heart raced as he wiped the dust off his glasses and scrambled to his feet to inspect it.

The letters grouped into long and elaborate words looked vaguely Alternian; perhaps an ancient dialect long forgotten, maybe even a high script reserved only for seadwellers, much to the young royal-blooded troll's delight. Had he the appropriate equipment and the time, he would have taken the time to translate. As it was, in his delight he forgot all about his predicament, fished in his pack for a pistol and a flashlight, and forged his way through the foreboding roots and headlong into whatever secret he had unwittingly uncovered.

The roots and the stone arch opened into a small passageway that twisted and pitched downward dramatically. Eridan trod along it with a swelling surge of exhilaration, his pistol at the ready in one hand and the intense white light of his flashlight sweeping over the walls of the tunnel from the other. The passageway eventually opened onto a ledge that overlooked the great divide down the center of the planet just barely wide enough to side-step and shuffle, but Eridan boldly flattened his back against the canyon face and continued on. Clearly the path had been purposefully made, and for what mysterious intention buzzed and soared majestically in his mind in a thousand different colors and incarnations. He knew the unknown energy reading had to have been a sign. A smoke screen to hide something of immeasurable worth on a dead world no one would ever think to explore; and he had found it.

The pathway crumbled to a chasm of nothing along his trek, but he leapt over the precarious hole with precision and gusto, heedless of the hail of gravel he sent crumbling down into the blackened core of the planet exposed to the elements. It took a sharp curve downward, and then pierced the precipice face again to dive even further below the crust. Inside the second cave, Eridan entered an ethereal world of black crystal and the eerily trickling remnants of brackish water sludging through the veins of the dying world. A long, narrow stone path carved atop pylons of black rock weaved its way through the behemoth crystals that had overtaken the cavern over countless millennia. His boots sang like stone on glass as he trekked across it, and his flashlight reflected every color of the rainbow as its beam sliced through the darkness and blazed across the crystalline labyrinth.

For what seemed like hours of aimless walking, dead ends, wrong turns, and frustratingly similar geography, Eridan wound his way deeper into the abyss. Eventually, and much to his private humiliation, he thought to take out the utility knife in his belt to make marks in the crystals, and began slashing crude arrows in the direction he was walking. However, never again did he see one of his signs. He knew not whether he simply never crossed the same path again, or if somehow the crystals had healed themselves, all he knew was he was truly beginning to feel as if he had stepped into one of the adventure books he used to read as a child. Mired within the puzzle with no way out and long past the point of no return, Eridan finally stopped and sat with his back against a pillar of crystal to think.

He let the chill of the dark cave seep into his bones. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing so all he could hear was the mournful whistle of the salty wind and the diminutive roar of the tiny stream trickling somewhere in the darkness below. The mere melody of water made his fins quiver and his gills itch, and he smirked as he tried to count back to the last time he'd gone for a swim simply for the sake of swimming and let his mind wander. But that tiny inkling of a thought slowly flowed into a stream, a stream that widened to a rushing river, a river that yawned into the gaping ocean of absurd notions just crazy enough to be true.

If the water flowed, it had to be going somewhere.

There must be some kind of outlet, or at the very least an underground lake, an exit or a hiding place for the treasure he yearned to find there. Either way, he was out of options and full of daring spirit, so he got up, aimed his flashlight downward instead of forward, and followed the path of the galloping tides. The light glittered off the tiny eddies and flows as Eridan traced the meandering, aimless journey of the river. Occasionally it veered off course, or some other small tributary would snake its parasitic way into the main bed, but the water always flowed in one direction, a direction that finally led the seadweller to a small underground cove with a shallow pool in the center. Pale blue crystals that glowed with some strange ethereal light dotted the gray sandy shoal and loomed high above the far end. And in them, some ancient adventurer had carved a crude arrow pointing downward.

Eridan made no effort to control his whoop of joy or the tiny celebratory dance he was grateful only the cold stone walls of the cavern saw. That one tiny, almost indiscernible sign confirmed his hunch had been right all along and everyone would be sorry they ever doubted him when he returned with whatever boon planetoid 2II2 PN concealed. Whether it was riches, a weapon, or even a new and unfathomably powerful energy source, even Sollux would have to admit he was wrong about him and bow his freakishly horned head in deference to his illustrious treasure hunting abilities. He could hardly contain his excitement as he stripped down to his skivvies, piled his clothes neatly on the bank of the pond, and held his breath as he removed his rebreather and added it to the top of the pile.

Only the flashlight came with him as he waded out into the icy water, shivering dully as the tiny ridge of fins along his spine pricked up. He closed his inner eyelids as he sank himself under the waist-deep pool and cautiously took his first breath through his gills. The water, though intensely briny and reeking of mineral deposits, proved surprisingly breathable, so he flew gracefully through the water and straight into the small, pitch black hole that funneled out through the very bottom.

The flashlight's usefulness was nearly immediately negated, for the moment the seadwelling Troll slipped through the mouth of the tunnel it became illuminated by brilliant red and blue anemones perturbed by his intrusion. They waved and swayed, as if beckoning him deeper, and Eridan obeyed, guiding himself through the narrow passageway as it wound into the belly of the planet. Eventually it widened, then tipped up, and belched its intruder out into a vast underground lake. Eridan headed straight for the muddled surface and broke through it with a gasp of thin, dank air into the final chamber.

Stalactites of some glossy black stone jabbed menacingly from the ceiling, draped in a spidery web of a murky creeping moss. Duller, much more ominous red crystals that luminesced with the same natural light filled the chamber with their sanguine hue and cast wicked, craggy shadows over the walls. He could barely see, but at the center of the lake his sharp eyes barely made out the unnatural shape of a circular dais with a staircase that twirled deftly around it to the top. His lungs still protested the painfully low oxygen levels in the air, so he skimmed the surface and kept his gills below water as he swam to it.

One last breath would have to suffice for the trek to see what prize the platform exalted, but Eridan held it willingly as he climbed out of the water and dashed up the staircase, flashlight blazing his path ahead of him. At the top he found an elaborate raised pedestal carved with sea creatures with absolutely nothing to display. A few tiny gray crabs scuttled out of his way as he approached, but otherwise the grand dais proclaimed the grandeur of nothing but the darkness. For a brief horrible moment, Eridan feared he had come too late and the treasure had long been pilfered. His heart plummeted to the pit of his gut and the light faded from his viciously eager yellow eyes as he collapsed atop it and buried his face in his arms.

The pedestal was decidedly not at all smooth, which dispelled the momentary despair and lit the way for rekindled curiosity. He slid back up and aimed the beam of his flashlight atop the mottled surface to reveal it was also elaborately carved with a geometric pattern. Eridan frowned, but it quickly morphed into a grin as his bejeweled fingers explored the surface and found that in certain places the carvings went deeper and hid tiny circuits. It was just like one of the puzzles in Sollux's role playing games, and where there was a puzzle, there was always a key. There had to be something in the chamber that would fit the indentations and unveil his prize at last.

Eridan eagerly lifted the flashlight to scan the cave, searching his surroundings thoroughly. The beam illuminated multitudes of the same environs he had already explored; stalactites, red crystals, gray, subterranean crabs, a few blood red crystals, even sparse anemones and shells, but nothing extraordinary or even out of place. His lungs began to burn with the lack of air, so he returned to the water, both to breathe and to muck about in the silt to see if anything was buried there. He splashed and dug and swore and made a grand mess of himself and the once clear lake, zipping to and fro in the water like a frantic fish caught in a net, but finding no way out. The possibility whatever pirate and plunderer had buried his or her stash and taken the key with them to guard until their untimely death and it was now lost to the ages loomed and cast its shadow over the resilient ember of Eridan's hope. However he thought back once again to Sollux and his games, his advice when he was about to throw the controller across the engine room out of petulance and frustration; to think outside the box, like you were the one designing the puzzle and wanted to hide something in plain sight.

The design on the pedestal had almost gone unnoticed until he literally faceplanted onto it. The entire chamber was dark, unlike the rest of his trek, and yet here he was, blundering about like a noisy buffoon with his light and his obstinacy and only making things cloudier and murkier. Sollux had taught him there was finesse and subtlety in unraveling the finer mysteries in a well designed puzzle, and as much as he hated to heed the advice of a lowblooded slave and a glorified battery, at least no one would have to see it in the depths of his makeshift treasure palace.

The flashlight clicked off. Eridan closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, and sank himself serenely under the water to wait.

Slowly, the sediment settled back to the bottom of the lake, the water stopped churning, and as Eridan let his eyes open with the protection of his inner eyelid, they were overwhelmed with a radiant golden glow from underneath the sand. He gasped in spite of himself underwater and zipped through the effervescent trail of bubbles to the very bottom of the lake. Four cubic crystalled pieces of something akin to a smooth, heavy pyrite waited for him in their shallow, ancient graves. He gathered them up and ferried them all back to the dais at the center of the lake to return them to their proper homes.

Finding them, however frustrating that may have been, wound up nothing compared to actually putting them back in their proper spots. The delicate configuration of the individual cube formations on the cubes felt as if it could fit into any slot on the pedestal, and then fit into none. For a veritable eternity Eridan struggled and jammed his various puzzle pieces into the board laid out before him, returning to the water to catch his breath and remember Sollux's words and stratagems until finally, each one snapped into place at the four corners. The troll's cry of victory was drowned out by the rusted roar of gears and machinery as the pedestal split into four and then sunk down into the dais.

Left behind was a circular stand with a wooden chest perched atop it.

Eridan's hands and legs shook as he approached his treasure with decorum and respect, smoothing back his wet hair and composing his stature regally. No lock bound the chest shut. Whatever was inside was his prize to claim. He grasped the lid as if it would crumble to dust in his hands, slipped his fingers under the metal banded edge, and meticulously lifted. Even in the darkness, nestled preciously on a bed of crumbling violet velvet, a shining golden orb glinted in greeting to its new master. Eridan forgot to breathe as he reached it and cupped it preciously in his hands, turning it over in sheer rapture. He could feel some kind of writing or symbols etched into the surface, but it was far too dark to make them out. It was also profoundly heavy for how small it was, and he could hear the inner workings of some kind of mechanisms hidden within. Possibly some kind of explosive device, but unlikely, Eridan reasoned. Or it could be just some timeless relic from a civilization long extinct, worth all the riches in the universe and more. The ball could hide some sort of map or clue inside, or perhaps even a greater treasure.

Anything was possible, and Eridan could no longer contain his frantic need to examine his find properly. He absconded with it clutched desperately in his hands, back through the lake to the maze of crystal where he dried off as best he could and put all his clothes and equipment back on. The ball he stashed in the satchel he carried with him for just such an occasion and trotted with his spirits soaring higher than they had in quite some time. He had found something after all. Something special that was his and his alone, a new project, a new mystery, and something that this time, this time he was certain, would finally win him respect.

When he reached the genesis of his adventure, darkness had fallen over planetoid 2II2 PN, and Dualscar had already been alerted to his fate. Rescue preparations were already underway, and he could hear his mentor's bellows of his name and Mindfang's piercing hysterical laughter long before he emerged from his hole. The verbal vitriol began immediately, and Eridan very nearly produced his new treasure to justify his disappearance, but something silent and powerful stayed his hand. For the first time in his eight sweeps of life, Eridan decided this particular treasure would remain his and his alone, and that Dualscar needed to know nothing about it. Never before had a scheme or an adventure been something he could call his own. Everything he had done he had done to match his might to the menace of Dualscar's image and every time he never quite fit into his massive silhouette of dominion over the stars.

For once, he resolved, he would unravel the mystery and the power alone and hone it to be the weapon he wanted it to be, not Dualscar.


End file.
